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50 things about myself

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

I don't know if I'm that interesting, but I've seen other adoption blogs with this theme and have enjoyed them...thought I'd give it a try.

  1. 1. I'm 36 years old.
  2. 2. I was born in Illinois.
  3. 3. I have two brothers, both of them younger.
  4. 4. My father always wanted to adopt another child, but my mother didn't think she could handle another kid. I guess we were too much for her! (I blame my brothers for that!:)
  5. 5. Now more than half of their grandchildren are adopted (6 out of 11...soon to be 8 out of 13!).
  6. 6. My dad is an ordained minister from Pennsylvania...my mom is a school district bookkeeper from Colorado. They met at Moody Bible Institute in Chicago in the 60s.
  7. 7. I have a very big extended family on both sides. I have one cousin who has 16 kids (many of them adopted) and another who has 9 kids (7 of them adopted). We're big into adoption in our family! :)
  8. 8. Two of us have adopted internationally...a cousin on my dad's side has adopted from China (my brother and sister-in-law are getting ready to go to China too.)
  9. 9. I've lived in four different states and have moved 19 times in my life...most of them before I turned 10 and after I got married.
  10. 10. I grew up in a small town in northeastern Colorado.
  11. 11. It was very small...only 100 people in the town/500 in the (farming) community.
  12. 12. As a girl I earned money in the summer by pulling rye out of my uncle's wheat fields.
  13. 13. I was named to the All-State volleyball team my senior year in high school...but I didn't get a scholarship to play in college because I tore my ACL playing basketball later that year.
  14. 14. I only had three people in my graduating class...one of them was a second cousin. (told you I had a big family! :)
  15. 15. In 1989 I married my high school sweetheart - he wasn't one of my classmates.
  16. 16. We've been married for 17 years.
  17. 17. I attended three different colleges before graduating from Kansas State in the early 90s with a degree in journalism.
  18. 18. I am a former television photojournalist.
  19. 19. On April 19, 1995, I was sent to cover the Oklahoma City Bombing. I spent a week there. It changed my life. Every year on the anniversary of the bombing I get a little weepy. I guess I'll never get those images out of my mind.
  20. 20. I love storm chasing - good thing since I live in tornado alley!
  21. 21. I love spring, autumn and winter...can't stand summer.
  22. 22. I can't stand summer because I am terrified of wasps.
  23. 23. I work for a newspaper as an advertorial writer...nobody really knows what that is!
  24. 24. Part of my job includes writing for a women's magazine.
  25. 25. I also organize a women's expo each year which has about 3,000 visitors.
  26. 26. I grew up as a tomboy.
  27. 27. I love all kinds of sports.
  28. 28. My favorite teams are the Pittsburgh Pirates, Pittsburgh Steelers and the K-State Wildcats.
  29. 29. As a girl I dreamed of playing second base for the Pirates.
  30. 30. I am a voracious reader.
  31. 31. If allowed, I will read two or three books a weekend - with three kids that doesn't happen very often! :)
  32. 32. I can drive a stick shift.
  33. 33. I would like to write Christian fiction some day.
  34. 34. I would also like to be a stay-at-home mom.
  35. 35. I always wished I had a sister.
  36. 36. My best friend is the youngest of three children - also has two brothers - she's the sister I never had.
  37. 37. I am way too organized. On our first adoption trip I took every piece of paper we had pertaining to the adoption in a three-ring binder to Russia and hauled it with me whereever we went - just in case someone needed to see a paper to prove he was really ours.
  38. 38. For the first week after we adopted our oldest son I felt like we were babysitting. It didn't sink in that he was really ours until we got home and he threw up on me for the first time.
  39. 39. I've been in the hospital more times than I can count, but not for anything serious. The list of operations include tonsils, ACL reconstruction and orthoscopic knee surgery. I also had pneumonia a couple of times as a kid. Otherwise I'm pretty healthy! :)
  40. 40. Someday I'd like to have a black BMW or Mercedes...but since this is our fourth international adoption I don't think that's going to happen! :)
  41. 41. I like NASCAR.
  42. 42. My favorite driver is Tony Stewart.
  43. 43. I'm not a rabid NASCAR fan...I just enjoy watching the wrecks.
  44. 44. I have recently become addicted to blogs.
  45. 45. I especially like blogs about international adoption.
  46. 46. I am also addicted to chocolate. Anything chocolate really.
  47. 47. My favorite chocolate confection are brownies...I can not resist brownies!
  48. 48. I made a batch of brownies last night and they're almost gone!
  49. 49. I have two dogs and two cats...that's what I get for being married to a veterinarian!
  50. 50. I'm a born again Christian, who loves God with all that I am...but it's a constant struggle to trust Him with EVERYTHING! I'm still working on it.


lessons learned

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Since things are at a bit of a standstill right now I thought I would share another blog from our family website.


The other day reminded me yet again, why I will never become a teacher. I could not imagine spending my day with 30 third-graders in a classroom, let alone in a packed school bus with only one other teacher and six parents to help!

Honestly I can not imagine what possibly possesses a teacher to take students out of the classroom and into the real world. It must be a love of the children and learning...or maybe it's just insanity.

The other day, in honor of our state's birthday, I went with Q's third grade class down to the state's history museum. A fun-filled day...but since it's technically supposed to be a learning experience, I thought I would share with you what I learned on Q's field trip.

Lessons from Q-Balls's field trip...

  1. 1. My son doesn't like history.
  2. 2. Bus drivers don't always know where they are going.
  3. 3. My children are not the only ones to ask 'Are we there yet?'
  4. 4. School buses are uncomfortable.
  5. 5. Boys do have to go to the bathroom as often as girls.
  6. 6. If you take a wrong turn in a bus, it may take you up to 15 minutes to back out of a private driveway and turn around.
  7. 7. If that driveway happens to be entrance to the governor's mansion, you'll get some strange looks from guys dressed in black suits and raybans.
  8. 8. As a room parent your job on a field trip is to keep track of the three kids assigned to you.
  9. 9. All you have to do to lose a kid is blink.
  10. 10. Every elementary school in the state will send at least one class full of 30 children to a free day at the Museum of History.
  11. 11. There are at least 30 third-graders in the state named Preston.
  12. 12. Schools typically have their children all wear t-shirts with their school colors so it's easier to find lost kids.
  13. 13. A lot of schools in our state have blue as their school color.
  14. 14. You will come across every other student and room parent from your son's class BEFORE you will find the missing child.
  15. 15. A missing child usually is not wearing the color-coded t-shirt.
  16. 16. There really is such a thing as professional yo-yoing and the world champion makes way more money than I do! (I still haven't figured out what 'The Yo-Yo Master' had to do with our history.)
  17. 17. Lunch can never come fast enough for six 8-year-old boys.
  18. 18. Boys will hurry-up in the bathroom when you promise them lunch is next.
  19. 19. Liquid goes through 8-year-old boys faster than other humans. Ten minutes after eating lunch, they need to go to the bathroom again.
  20. 20. Ten minutes after using the bathroom, 3rd grade boys will become thirsty again.
  21. 21. Soda is the only thing which will cure it. Six boys + 6 bottles of cream soda = ADHD.
  22. 22. The ADHD lasts only as long as you're still on a tour. If you go anywhere near a gift shop, the children will suddenly regain focus...but only in the toy section. The hyperactivity remains.
  23. 23. My son isn't the only child in the world unable to carry his new toy more than 5 feet.
  24. 24. In a museum, boys are only interested in steam locomotives until you get to the steam locomotive exhibit. Once at the exhibit they are interested only in the mud hut exhibit you just left.
  25. 25. No matter how hard you try, boys are not going to look at a beautiful quilt from the 19th Century...especially when there's a 100 year old bison skull around the corner.
  26. 26. I'm old. At an exhibit marked 'Toys of the 80s!, one of the children asked me, "Mrs. C, what's a Rubik Cube?"
  27. 27. Buses do not get any more comfortable on the return trip.
  28. 28. Thirty children hyped up on sugar and a free day out of the classroom will suddenly become sleepy on a long bus ride home.
  29. 29. When asked about his field trip, the only thing my son will remember is the 'Yo-Yo Master.'
  30. 30. My son really doesn't like history.

HAPPY our state's birth DAY!


behind the scenes

Monday, February 26, 2007

I haven't posted anything lately...not because there's nothing going on...just because there's nothing new.
After the whirlwind last Tuesday the adoption process came to a complete stop. We were waiting for our agency to get in touch with our home study provider - to give her the list of criteria that needs to be included in the homestudy - when the woman who runs the agency had a death in the family. Thankfully she's back in the office now and trying to get in touch with our provider...however the number we had given her was incorrect! :) It feels like we're just spinning our wheels and S is getting pretty frustrated. He spends all of his day off every Tuesday working on this and unfortunately he's finding out what I and all international adoptive parents already knew. It's a long, drawn-out, incredibly frustrating process that will not speed up no matter what you do!
On the bright side, I told my parents about our pending adoption yesterday and they were happy for us, and it sounds like they are willing to come and stay with the kids while we're in Ukraine. What a blessing! The only problem is that my mom hasn't retired yet...although she wants to so badly...so it may not work out as smoothly as we hope. We'll just have to wait and see. Unfortunately, S's parents are not an option right now, so we're going to have to rely on family or close friends. I wish we could take them with us...but I figure there's no way we can get to Ukraine before school starts in the fall...and we can't take them out of school for that long.


i think he sold a cow!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

It's been one of those adoption roller-coaster days...the kind that make you grab a bottle of Pepto with one hand while clenching the roll bar with the other. I held on for dear life today...and I survived.
It all started with a 9 a.m. appointment at H&R Block. We've been waiting for this day for a long time...it marked the true beginning of our adoption journey. It would give us the cash we needed to start paying for things like homestudies, agency fees and apostilles. We were stoked.
But by the time we left the office we were devastated.
The large tax return we had anticipated..had hoped for..had counted on..was not coming.
Now, we knew our adoption tax credits from the last two adoptions were running out...that was one of the reasons we were putting this adoption into high gear. It would be the last time we would have that kind of cash. But we didn't realize we had so little left! Our federal return was a fraction of what we had expected.
And then there were the two states. I work in Missouri and it has always been a problem for us come tax time. I have extra taxes out of each paycheck...but for some reason it's never enough. And the Kansas return was a huge shock! Last year we got a big refund...this year we're going to have to pay just about that much back. I don't know where we went wrong...but it hurt!
Add that misery to the fact that we still hadn't found a homestudy provider and I was ready to call it quits. In fact, by the time I had driven the five miles to work, I had already called my best friend and told her it was off. There was no way we could adopt again. God had shut the door in our face.
Boy was I wrong.
While I was wallowing in self-pity, S was putting his stubborn streak to work. When He called a couple of hours later he was adamant that we shouldn't give up. This from a man I had to drag kicking and screaming (not quite :) ) through our first three adoptions. He said I should trust him...he was going to find a way. "Give it a shot," I said...not at all convinced that it would work.
He called me an hour later and said he remembered some extra money he had coming from left over sick days (he gets paid for the ones he doesn't use). "Great," I said half-heartedly. That wouldn't cover even half of what we lost.
He called again.
This time he had managed to scrounge up some cash through another source.
We were getting closer, but I still had my doubts.
The last time he called was the jackpot.
He had finally found someone to do our homestudy! And it won't cost us an arm and a leg! In fact, she quoted us a price less than half of what other social workers were telling us...her references checked out and she was in good standing with the state. It looks like we're ready to go.
Wow! In less than three hours, he had managed to not only cover what we had lost from our less than stellar tax refund. He had surpassed it and put us in better financial shape.
Of course he had help.
You know every time this happens I'm surprised. But why should I be? God has promised to provide all our needs and he has proven himself faithful to that promise over and over again...and for some reason I still don't learn the lesson.
This time though I think it's going to stick. I've finally realized I need to stop sweating this kind of stuff. If we are in His will with this adoption, he will pave the way. He has resources beyond our imagination. And he will provide...in His time.
After I got off the phone with S, I immediately called my friend back and said, "Lynda...I think God just sold a cow!'


back to square one

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Well, it's back to square one on the homestudy front. The person we were hoping could do the homestudy isn't licensed in our state and doesn't have any contacts for us. So, I'm back to calling everyone I can think of, trying to track someone down to do the homestudy. Honestly, the biggest problem isn't finding someone to do the report - it's finding someone we can afford!
We're pretty good at doing these adoptions on a shoe-string budget - we've found free notaries, saved nickels and dimes on postage, do as much communication by e-mail as we can and are having most of our stuff notarized in a state that has a cap on the expense couples have to spend on adoption-related apostilles (Missouri). I've even talked my company into letting me use my long-term sick days bank for our adoption trip (even though it has never been done before.)
But after three international adoptions our bank accounts are empty. We're not even convinced we have scraped together enough money to do this one last time. Not only that, but we need to be responsible to the children we have already at home by not going into further debt - and paying over $1200 for a homestudy doesn't seem very responsible!
Our first homestudy in '99 cost us $500...and the last one in '02 cost just under $750...and we thought that was expensive! :) Still, getting the homestudy done is one of the first things we have to accomplish on our VERY long list.We can't move forward without it. I'm going to hang on for just a little longer and see if I can find someone, but we may have to bite the bullet and fork over the cash. (Am I mixing too many metaphores?!)
Still I have faith...we'll get this adoption done even if we do have to pay $1200 for a simple homestudy. Because we know this guy who has cattle on a thousand hills, and I'm sure he'd be willing to sell a couple. He is VERY good at providing everything we need! :) (Psalms 50:10)


baby steps

Friday, February 9, 2007

It's just a small step...but at least it's one in the right direction.
I think I may have found someone to do our homestudy.
I don't know why it's taken as long as it has. It shouldn't be that hard really - just look someone up in the phone book or call an agency you have used before.

We tried using a former agency.
When we lived in Kansas (the first time) they went out of their way to help us, when we lived in Iowa (for the last two adoptions) they drove an hour and a half each way to help us out.
Now that we're back in Kansas we thought it would be as easy as picking up the phone. Unfortunately for us, their local office is in Missouri...and they don't do adoption homestudies.
I've been spending a lot of time over the past few weeks trying to track someone down. Our former agency gave me the name of someone in Kansas City, but they don't do homestudies any more. I tried calling the person who had done our follow-up reports on our previous adoption - but she has since moved to Arizona! I scoured the internet, but couldn't find anyone from our area. My husband called some agencies in KC, but they want to charge an arm and a leg and then top it off with mileage! I found some state social worker organizations - but the best they could do was offer me a website I had already searched, give me a phone number for the state licensing board and tell me as a last resort I could put an ad in the paper! I called the state licensing board and they offered to sell me their list of social workers in our area for $15! I don't think so.
So I went back to the drawing board...back to my journalism roots.
I started the same way I would any story I'm working on...I called my sources. And one of them may have come through.
It's amazing how when you're in the midst of something it can all seem so complicated...until you take a step back and look at the whole picture. Sometimes the answer is staring you in the face.
So keep your fingers crossed and pray hard that this lead pans out.
At least that way it will be a baby step in the right direction.


what's in a name?

Thursday, February 8, 2007

We've always had a hard time coming up with names for our kids. It's not so much figuring out what each one of us like - it's coming up with something we can agree on.
We negotiate and make deals. We beg and plead for names to come off the list. I think subconsiously we pick names we know the other can't stand, just so we'll have some bargaining power! With deals like, "I'll drop Megan, if you cross off Candice!" - you'd think we were buying a used car. I'm surprised we haven't been forced to go through arbitration.
It's a serious process.
The first time around we weren't prepared for the challenge. It was back in the days when Russia still let you look at video tapes of prospective children. Once we saw the movie of our little guy, we knew he was the one. There was no doubt.
So we called the agency and told them about our decision.
'Great!,' our rep said. 'Have you picked out a name?'
Wow! We hadn't even thought about it.
At least not seriously.
Oh, we had spent hours throwing names back and forth - names like Belle, Bo, Allison and Shea. But we had only been dreaming - we hadn't given any serious thought to actually picking a name that would follow our child the rest of his life.
Our rep told us she had to have a name in order to start the rest of the paperwork, so we promised to get back to her the next morning...and hung up the phone.
Now what we were going to do?
We had to make a decision in a matter of hours. And it had to stick.
So we negotiated.
Each one of us sat down with our well-worn baby book and wrote a list of our favorites...and then it began. Haggling back and forth, dropping names like William, Carson and Bo in favor of names like Peyton, Garrison and Evan...adding middle names to see if anything sounded right...announcing it PA style to see if it sounded like he could start for the K-State football team.
We tried everything in the book.
In the end Q won out.
Somehow it seemed to fit.
We just knew.
Now we're in the middle of the process - again.
While I've named this blog 'Finding Maddie,' it's kind of misleading. I had to come up with something...and Maddie is a name I've liked for a long time. But to be honest we haven't officially come up with a moniker yet for our little girl. The lists have been drawn up. We've scoured the baby book for first names. We've searched Ukrainian culture websites for possible middle names. We've even looked at family geneaologies for inspiration.

We're finally ready.
Let the negotiations begin!


happy birthday lubov!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

I first posted this blog on my family website last October...and since the adoption process is at a halt right now, (I'm having a hard time finding someone to do our home-study), I thought I would share it with you.


A few weeks ago I was talking with a dear friend about international adoption. She and her husband are in the middle of the process. They've done the paperwork, raced all over creation tracking down original documents, notarizations and apostilles. They've opened their home up to a stranger and invited them in to judge their qualifications as parents and then forked over enough money in 'fees' to make you sick.
Now they've reached the hardest part...the wait.
They don't have a name. They don't have a medical. They don't even have a picture. They don't have any information at all. But if they think about it too long they realize - this child has more than likely already been born and is sitting in an orphanage...waiting.
I don't think anyone can imagine how hard it is. Unless you've been there you can't understand the anxiety involved. You're ready, at a moments notice, to jump on the next plane to go pick up your baby, but instead you have to wait with your arms empty all the while imagining the worst. Is your child warm enough, is he dry, did he eat enough or is he starving, is he sick, is he in pain, is he getting rocked to sleep at night or is he having to rock himself, is anyone loving him, is anyone caring at all...and what in the world is taking so long?!
To ease that anxiety I suggested she start praying. It was something that S and I did over 10 years ago...and it helped...A LOT!
Before we even met our oldest son...before we even picked out a name... we prayed for him. Praying he would be safe, warm and dry. Praying that one of his caretakers would hold him a little longer, comfort him when he was sick or hurt, give him a little bit more food so he wasn't literally starving, make him feel loved and safe. Praying that someone would rock him to sleep...just until we could get there.
And then God opened my eyes.
It was the word 'Lubov'. A strange word hand-written on our soon-to-be son's medical sheet. It was a word I had never seen before, but it's one I will never forget.
It was his biological mother's name.
On that sheet I learned about a woman who was only six years younger than I, but who had a lifetime of more experiences. She was married...but was living alone...possibly on the street. She didn't have a job, didn't have a home, didn't have enough food to feed herself, let alone a little boy.
And that's when I began to think of her as more than just a 'birth mother,' and started doing the hardest thing I have ever done. I prayed for Lubov. As I started praying, I realized I was jealous. She was able to do the one thing I couldn't, the one thing I wanted more than anything in this world. She was able to have a baby.
And then He changed me.
God made me see her as an incredibly self-less person, who had given me, a complete stranger, a beautiful gift.
She could have very easily walked into one of the Russian government's many medical clinics and had an abortion - free of charge. Hundreds of women do it every day. Instead she decided to carry this child to term and then hand that child over to the authorities in a hope that he would have a better life.
I'm not sure why, but I was thinking about how incredible that gift was again this morning. And since I'm still running on daylight savings time and had an hour to spare, I decided to take a few minutes to sift through Q's paperwork.
That's when He showed it to me.
There, written on his original birth certificate, next to her name, was her birthdate. She turned 30 today.
So in honor of her birthday, I would like to ask you to give Lubov a very special gift. Your prayers.
Please pray for her safety. Living alone and possibly on the street is a recipe for disaster. The Russian winters are not easy, no matter where you are on the continent. The area Q was from is about the same latitude as Minnesota. Not exactly warm. Please pray she finds a place she can call home.
Please pray for her health. So many Russian women die at a young age and it's often from completely preventable diseases like AIDS and TB or from the effects of drug and alcohol addiction. The average life expectancy of a Russian is around 63...a testiment to just how hard their life can be.
And please pray that she'll find peace. I've been praying for that for a long time. I can't imagine what it must have been like to hand her child over to the Russian government and to hope he wouldn't turn out like the 90% of other orphans in the system, who either die in an orphanage or make it to 18 only to end up on the street, in jail, on drugs or all of the above. Only God can give her that peace. I trust He already has.
But the most important thing I'd like you to pray for is her salvation.
I would love nothing more than someday to be able to meet her and thank her for her amazing gift. She gave me something no one else could. She gave me a family. And for that I am eternally grateful. I know I will never be able to thank her on this earth, but someday I'd really like to tell her in person...in Heaven.
Happy Birthday Lubov.


wanted - one good agency

Tuesday, February 6, 2007

We're looking for a good agency.
One that won't quote us a low-ball price and then nickel and dime us to death.

One that will tell us the truth - no matter how unpleasant.
One that will help us sift through the mounds of paperwork.
One that will guide us through the process and hold our hand when needed.
One that will pray with us as we make the grueling choices we will have to face.
The problem is locating one.
We've been through this process a couple of times before...and it's nerve wracking. You search and search and search until you find one you can afford and then you hold your breath waiting to see if their references pan out. Then you call the Better Business Bureau and the state licensing bureau to make sure they are in good standing, e-mail your e-groups and ask for independent references, then you call them up and interview them.
Once all of that is done you sit back and worry.
And wonder.
And contemplate.
Are you making the right decision? Can these people be trusted? Do they have your best interests in mind?
It's a crap shoot really. You're handing over the responsibility of building your family to complete strangers and hoping and praying for the best.
But I think we may have struck gold.
Last night we interviewed an agency out of Texas. It is run by adoptive parents who saw the plight of all of these wonderful children languishing in the Ukraine orphanages and decided to do something about it. It's a similar story to other agencies...but this one is just a bit different.

It is run by born-again Christians.
They have the same beliefs and values we do. And the best part is they don't charge the enormous fees most agencies require. We may actually be able to come out of this without being in debt up to our eyeballs (just our chins).
We're still checking and praying. Hoping and trusting.
But I think we may be close to a decision.
I think we may have found one good agency.


tough questions...

Monday, February 5, 2007

The other morning my oldest son, Q asked me a very tough question...
It was a question I had been dreading for a long time. We knew questions about their identity, their heritage, their biological parents would come up. And S and I had talked about how we wanted to handle those questions...but nothing can quite prepare you for the shock of actually hearing those words.
"Why wasn't I able to stay with my birth lady?"
I explained as best I could, the canned answer S and I had prepared:
"She was very young, she didn't have a lot of money, she didn't even have a place to live, but she loved you enough to take you someplace where you would be warm, and fed and taken care of. "
It didn't seem like enough of an answer to me, but Q quietly said, "Oh. Okay," and went back to what he was doing.
As I sat there watching him playing with his matchbox cars and lego blocks, I knew someday there will be more questions....and more inadequate answers.
I don't know all I want to know about why he ended up at the babyhouse or what happened to him before we got there 14 months later. And I know that I'll never have all of the answers to his questions.
I don't know enough about his health history, what his grandparent's names were or if he as any biological siblings. I don't know why his biological mother went ahead with the pregnancy when it would have been so easy to "take care of it."
But I do know this.
I know God brought this precious boy (and his brother and sister) into our lives for a specific purpose. God has something incredible planned for these children, and we are blessed to be able to help Him put His plan in motion.
I know these kids have enriched our lives in a way I don't think could have happened any other way. I know I wouldn't change anything now - even if I could. I wouldn't go back in time for anything - not even for a biological child. These ARE my children, regardless of biology. My only regret is not being able to be there for them from the day they were born.
I wish I could convince everyone I know to go over to Russia and adopt one of these little kiddos. They are precious, priceless gifts from God - even if they do come loaded with tough questions.


getting started

Sunday, February 4, 2007

We haven't told our friends.
We haven't told our family.
We haven't even said a word to our kids.
This is the first time I've 'said' it outloud.
"We are thinking about adopting again."
Wow! It sounds weird. It sounds crazy.
Are we insane?
We already have three children...all born in Russia. All God-given and a blessing. All healthy, happy and beautiful. All challenging, onery and a handful!
And now we're thinking about doing it again...one last time.
There seems to be someone missing - like a part of us is still out there somewhere, just sitting and waiting until we can find her.
It's been this way each time. We think we're done...there's no way we can go through the piles of paperwork again. The months of racing all over creation to track down original documents, notarizations and apostilles are taxing, opening our home up to a stranger and invited them in to judge our qualifications as parents is gut-wrenching and then you get to fork over enough money in 'fees' to make you sick. But then God lays it on our heart to reconsider. And we do.
I dread going through the whole process again, but then I start thinking about the child laying in a crib...just waiting for someone to pick her up and hold her. Knowing that child is most likely cold, wet and hungry. No one tucks her in at night or rocks her to sleep. No one plays with her, reads to her or colors pink bunny pictures with her. No one really cares if she is sick, starving or in pain. And I realize I can do it again - one more time.
We say we're looking into it...just doing some research...trying to figure out what our options are. But I know we're going to go ahead with it.
A year from now our lives will be completely changed...for the better.
We're just getting started.


joy of adoption

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