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Sunday, February 4, 2007

We haven't told our friends.
We haven't told our family.
We haven't even said a word to our kids.
This is the first time I've 'said' it outloud.
"We are thinking about adopting again."
Wow! It sounds weird. It sounds crazy.
Are we insane?
We already have three children...all born in Russia. All God-given and a blessing. All healthy, happy and beautiful. All challenging, onery and a handful!
And now we're thinking about doing it again...one last time.
There seems to be someone missing - like a part of us is still out there somewhere, just sitting and waiting until we can find her.
It's been this way each time. We think we're done...there's no way we can go through the piles of paperwork again. The months of racing all over creation to track down original documents, notarizations and apostilles are taxing, opening our home up to a stranger and invited them in to judge our qualifications as parents is gut-wrenching and then you get to fork over enough money in 'fees' to make you sick. But then God lays it on our heart to reconsider. And we do.
I dread going through the whole process again, but then I start thinking about the child laying in a crib...just waiting for someone to pick her up and hold her. Knowing that child is most likely cold, wet and hungry. No one tucks her in at night or rocks her to sleep. No one plays with her, reads to her or colors pink bunny pictures with her. No one really cares if she is sick, starving or in pain. And I realize I can do it again - one more time.
We say we're looking into it...just doing some research...trying to figure out what our options are. But I know we're going to go ahead with it.
A year from now our lives will be completely changed...for the better.
We're just getting started.

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