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tough questions...

Monday, February 5, 2007

The other morning my oldest son, Q asked me a very tough question...
It was a question I had been dreading for a long time. We knew questions about their identity, their heritage, their biological parents would come up. And S and I had talked about how we wanted to handle those questions...but nothing can quite prepare you for the shock of actually hearing those words.
"Why wasn't I able to stay with my birth lady?"
I explained as best I could, the canned answer S and I had prepared:
"She was very young, she didn't have a lot of money, she didn't even have a place to live, but she loved you enough to take you someplace where you would be warm, and fed and taken care of. "
It didn't seem like enough of an answer to me, but Q quietly said, "Oh. Okay," and went back to what he was doing.
As I sat there watching him playing with his matchbox cars and lego blocks, I knew someday there will be more questions....and more inadequate answers.
I don't know all I want to know about why he ended up at the babyhouse or what happened to him before we got there 14 months later. And I know that I'll never have all of the answers to his questions.
I don't know enough about his health history, what his grandparent's names were or if he as any biological siblings. I don't know why his biological mother went ahead with the pregnancy when it would have been so easy to "take care of it."
But I do know this.
I know God brought this precious boy (and his brother and sister) into our lives for a specific purpose. God has something incredible planned for these children, and we are blessed to be able to help Him put His plan in motion.
I know these kids have enriched our lives in a way I don't think could have happened any other way. I know I wouldn't change anything now - even if I could. I wouldn't go back in time for anything - not even for a biological child. These ARE my children, regardless of biology. My only regret is not being able to be there for them from the day they were born.
I wish I could convince everyone I know to go over to Russia and adopt one of these little kiddos. They are precious, priceless gifts from God - even if they do come loaded with tough questions.

1 salty messages:

Missy February 7, 2007 at 9:55 PM  

You gave me goosebumps! I know there are so many tough times in parenting! But I truly can't wait to be there...to love my kids through the tough questions. You are an inspiration!

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