Thursday, March 1, 2007
What do you get when you put a small town girl in a pair of work-only shoes in a minivan and send her to Bible Study on an old dirt road she's only seen on a Yahoo map?
Whatever it is...it isn't pretty. And neither is her pair of dark brown leather pumps!
Usually I'm pretty good at following directions. If I'm able to visualize it in my mind I can almost always get there. But it's the almost part that is the catch. There are times...and I hate to admit it...when my usually highly-functioning grey matter turns into a pile of mush and I can't seem to make sense of what's in front of me.
Such was the case on Tuesday night.
Tuesday night is Bible Study night. It's the one night of the week where I can leave the kids with S and go hang out with a bunch of women and not feel guilty about it. S encourages me to do it. He knows it's good for me. Last Tuesday night was no exception. I came home tired, hungry and just a touch cranky...and the minute I mentioned something about skipping out he told me to get the keys and get going.
So I did. But first I had to figure out how to get there. I had asked the Bible study host more than five times for directions to her home and each time she had patiently given me the instructions. But I had lost them...again...and there was no way I was going to ask again. "I'll just Yahoo! Map it," I thought.
In a matter of minutes I had a mental picture of where I needed to go. Just take State street which eventually turns into 190th street out of town to E Rd. Turn right and it will be right there. I headed out of town.
I went about a mile before the road turned into gravel. No problem. I grew up in Colorado. All the roads there are gravel. I know what I'm doing. And there really was no problem. While it had rained a TON in the last 24-hours...the gravel was holding up and my van smoothly went along the road at a cool 55 mph. I eventually came to Hwy 7...and just across the concrete expanse was an even wider road...freshly laid gravel beckoning me to follow it.
I was on the right track. I sped across the road, onto the new gravel and toward the top of the little hill...and on over. It was the over part that got me in trouble. There, in front of me, was an endless stretch of mud.
The road...if you can call it that...was barely visible. My headlights only caught glimpses of it now and then. My van slid this way and that as I slowly inched down the hill. There was no going back...I wouldn't make it. My only hope was that it wasn't as bad at the bottom as it looked.
By the time I got down the hill I had to rock the van back and forth just to make it a few inches. Fifteen minutes later I slid the van into an access path of a corn field.
I was stuck.
I couldn't go forward...there was another hill in front of me. I couldn't go back...the one behind me was worse. The only thing I could hope for was a cell phone signal.
Haaa! Good luck with that one! I looked down at the phone's bars...I had one. That wasn't going to work...so I got out of the van.
Now remember...I had on office-only shoes. You know the kind...open toed, an open back and not much else on there to keep your naked feet warm!
It was cold. But I got the phone out of my pocket and started wandering around the muddy field looking for a good cell. I finally found two bars if I held the phone high above my head. I put the phone on speaker and made a quick dial.
The first time he answered, S couldn't understand me. The wind was howling, my teeth were chattering and the signal wasn't nearly strong enough. So I hung up and tried again. This time it worked.
I gave him a quick description of where I was and he promised to come right away.
While I waited I decided to get some things done.
* I turned the van around - I wanted to make sure when they towed me out of this
mess it was as easy on them as possible.
* I cleaned out the center console of my van - how did all of that stuff get in there?
* I cleaned out my purse - how did all that stuff get in there?
* And I started writing this blog...I knew there was no way I could pass this one up!
An hour later he still wasn't there.
So I climbed out of the van and started the search for the signal again. This time I called the Bible Study hostess, Phyllis. "Where are you," she asked. When I told her - there was silence. "Okay," she hesitated. "I'll send the guys right out."
I'm sure she was wondering what I was doing on this miserable stretch of road.
Then I called S.
"Where are you," he repeated. "I can't find you."
I gave him the directions again. "Alright...hang with me."
A few seconds later I saw a light...and it started blinking! "I see you...I see you," I screamed.
Then I saw the pair of headlights. Nothing had ever looked better. But they weren't slowing down!
"Don't do it. Don't come down here!"
Down he came. Now he was stuck too.
Two hours after the saga began I finally pulled into Phyllis' yard. The ladies were patiently waiting for me...and praying for me. Phyllis' husband and her son had finally found us...and pulled both of us out.
What does the Bible say about pride...isn't it something about a fall? Now that is a topic for Bible study!