Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Not in a bad way...
Just in a 'Wow, this is really happening' kinda way.
And it's happening VERY soon.
A little over three days.
Do you ever get that way?
You work so hard to do something...and then once it's a reality you start to get a little nervous over it?
I do this EVERY time.
I did it for our wedding.
I did it when we adopted each of the kids.
I do it every year with the expo.
They are all wonderful, blessed events (well, okay...except for the expo) and here I am wigging out.
Just a little.
People keep asking me if I'm getting excited.
I'm getting excited...
Chris and Virginia wrote the other day about all of the fears that come with international adoption.
One of the first ones to overcome is the 'Should we really do this?' What if they're not healthy? Can we handle it?
Then there's the 'Can we afford this?' We have a hard time saving money for retirement, how can we handle paying for an adoption and then the extra expenses of having another child?
And then there's the fears that go along with the process...the biggest of which is the great 'Homestudy fear."
Now I'm to the 'What if he/she doesn't like us,' phase. I mean after all, our other children were too young to notice or care. They had no idea what was going on. Punky, being the oldest at 21 months, had more of an idea than anyone and believe you me...her reaction wasn't pretty.
I've been having a lot of flashbacks lately.
Especially knowing more than likely this child will be older than Punky...from the sounds of it - way older.
I need to stop...
take a step back...
Now I need to trust.
God is in control of this whole thing.
If you read back into the archives of my blog you will see instances, time and time again, where you can see God's hand all over this adoption.
He handled the finances at a time when there was no earthly way possible for it to happen.
He found us a homestudy provider at half the price of what the others were charging...
He took care of the USCIS paperwork in record time...
All in order to bring us to this point in time...
He wants us right here...right now.
For His purpose.
Whatever it is.
I think I need to do some reading...
and some praying.
So if you need me, that's where you'll find me for the next several days.
Well...there...and at Wa!-Mart.
After all, I only have...
3 DAYS LEFT!!!