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confusion, questions and prayer

Thursday, December 6, 2007

While you were sleeping, we hit a roadblock.
Evidently the girl we were supposed to meet had surgery yesterday to correct her strabismus and now the orphanage director won’t let us come and visit her for a week.
And even if she did, Dr. Yuri doesn't think he could make have a good observation of her.

Needless to say this has put a big wrench in things.
It looked like we were going to have to make a decision as to whether to proceed with her adoption or go back to the SDA for another referral.

We put the decision in God's hands.
A few minutes later our facilitator called. He talked with the SDA and they want to see us at 4:30 p.m. to talk to the psychologist about our options.
Please pray for us.
We don’t know if they will consider our appointment yesterday as our first appointment and make us wait to come back for a second…
Or if they will have compassion and let us look at new files today.
And pray for the little girl that we were supposed to meet.
She is miserable and in pain. Her eyes have to be covered for a week (hence, why they won’t let us come see her – we can’t make eye contact and bond.) And her chance for adoption may have come and gone.

Heartbreaking. But at the same time we know that He is in control.
I’ll let you know how the new appointment goes.

25 salty messages:

Jane December 6, 2007 at 6:20 AM  

Hopefully things will work out well for you and you'll be able to make a good decision. The people at the SDA seem to be willing to work with families in situations like this. It's just amazing how these things seem to coincide with each other, you'd think someone somewhere would have realized it was not a good idea to do surgery on her this week. If there's one thing I have learned about Ukraine it's that there's no point trying to understand what is going on and certainly no point trying to alter developments as that just gets you into trouble. I'll be checking back later to see how things went.

Leslie December 6, 2007 at 6:46 AM  

I'm sitting at an internte cafe next to Independence Square in Kiev and pained that you guys are somewhere close by and going through this. We are praying for God's will to be clear for you and that the SDA would be gracious in this situation. Cell number has changed 80507235199. We're at Hotel Rus right now, but will be moving because of a reservation mix up. Not sure where we go from here. Did our paperwork at Embassy this morning, picking up visa tomorrow, and will be making a break for the airport on Saturday morning. Blessings on you, Tami. God is with you.

Gail,  December 6, 2007 at 7:52 AM  

I will pray for God's direct for you in this situation.

Waitingonmyua2 December 6, 2007 at 8:21 AM  

Oh Tami, I am so sorry. God is sovereign, though. Continue to put your trust in Him. I am praying. hugs, Beth

Lindy December 6, 2007 at 8:47 AM  

Oh, how heartbreaking!

It is just past 4:30 Kiev time as I'm writing this, so you are talking to the psychologist now. I am so sad for you and for the little girl, but I know things will work out okay.

Be assured you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tina in CT December 6, 2007 at 9:21 AM  

Reading your post gave me goosebumps. What an emmotional time for the two of you.

Thinking of you (and the little girl recovering from surgery).

Troy and Rachel December 6, 2007 at 9:28 AM  

We'll be praying for your decision and for compassion from the officials to not make you wait for another appointment. We'll also add the little girl to our prayers. Be strong - we are thinking about you.

Lori in KY,  December 6, 2007 at 9:31 AM  

I just happened upon your blog today (after reading Shelly's blog--I've been reading there for about 2 or more years, I guess). I don't know you, and of course you don't know me. So, take everything I say with a grain (or three) of salt! ;)

I'm only posting this because I, too, am an Christian adoptive mommy. (From the foster care system in the states.)

I don't claim to have any knowlege about Ukrainian adoptions or about your situation at all, but I was just wondering...

If you felt God's hand in leading you to choose this particular 3 year old girl in your initial meeting, then how much difference (in the long-term/overall scheme of things) does it really make if you don't get to make eye contact/bond with her this trip?

Please don't think I'm being insensitive, because I'm not saying that emotionally it wouldn't be a HUGE letdown, I do understand that--but if God led you to this particular girl, perhaps it's the enemy's tactic to separate you from her and to keep her from being adopted into a loving, CHRISTIAN home.

I guess I think of adoption as a sort of birth, as well. Kind of like Forrest Gump says, "life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get," kind of thinking. Yes, she could have all manner of "inadequacies" by the world's standards, but by God's standards, she might just be your child--she's already HIS!

I suppose when you said, "And her chance for adoption may have come and gone," my heart broke for her. I can only imagine how it would ease her pain and suffering to know that even in the midst of this hard time, she was CHOSEN and has a family who loves her and can't wait to bring her home.

Okay, you can block me or throw tomatoes at me or be mad at me, I would surely understand since I have butted in so rudely. I'm sorry if anything I've said is considered bad blog etiquette. That is not my intent at all. I just felt the Lord pricking my heart to say what I said. I hope it came across that way.

I will be praying for you today and since only God knows the right thing for you to do, I will pray He grant you His wisdom in everything you have to do and decide. God bless you!

Lori in KY (www.homeschoolblogger.com/leastofthese)

Calico Sky December 6, 2007 at 9:52 AM  

Oh I am so sad for this little girl, I'll be praying for her. I'll be keeping you in my prayers as well, hoping things go smoothly with the next step

Josh December 6, 2007 at 10:10 AM  

Hi there,
We are sorry to hear how things have gone for you so far. We will be praying for you! We had our SDA appointment yesterday as planned and are off to Zaporozhye tomorrow to meet our future special needs daughter...

Josh & Tara (we've emailed before)

3D December 6, 2007 at 10:26 AM  

Hope you have some good news to report soon. Hang in there!

Keep smilin!

Kathy and Matt December 6, 2007 at 10:35 AM  

Praying for you to feel God's comfort and peace as you deal with this new challenge, and also that you have clarity as you evaluate the options facing you.

We'll also pray that the little girl get well soon.

kate December 6, 2007 at 12:01 PM  

Oh, TAMI! Praying for you and for that sweet little girl. Will keep praying. Know that you have people lifting you up!

kate December 6, 2007 at 12:02 PM  

Seeing a state-appointed (I'm guessing?) psychologist to help with this decision seems...unusual and compassionate. I'm intrigued...

kate December 6, 2007 at 12:06 PM  

comments just became visible.

i will second lori in ky's sentiments...i know that all the "cool God stuff" that you felt was leading you to this little girl is still fresh on your hearts. hold it close.

kiev is a great city in which to pass a week while you wait to meet her. i've got friends there if you need to be kept busy...

praying for you all.

Susan & Truman December 6, 2007 at 12:09 PM  

Tami - I'm hoping you are able to see a clearer path after your meetings today. Please know that even people you don't know (like me) are pulling for you and praying for you & the little girl

Chris and Virginia December 6, 2007 at 2:09 PM  

We're sorry to hear that about the little girl; we hope she comes through this quickly. Even if you decide on another child, at 3 she has a good possibility of getting adopted when she recovers.

As you said, you're in God's hands and he'll help you with your decision, as difficult as it may seem.

Our prayers are with you.

Truly Blessed! December 6, 2007 at 2:59 PM  


I was just directed to your blog by a post on one of my Yahoo groups. I certainly don't have any answers or suggestions for you as far as the little girl you've come so far to see.

However, as believers, I wanted to tell you about two fabulous Christian churches that are in Kiev & Vinnytsia -- churches our home church sponsors wholeheartedly. These churches are totally on fire for the Lord Jesus Christ, and I wanted to share their names, should you be able to visit them on Sunday: Greenway Church (is in Vinnytsia), and Almaz Church in Kiev.

God will give you the wisdom you require. Just ask. And then trust.

Christina December 6, 2007 at 3:20 PM  

Oh I am sad for that little girl, that she misses the chance to meet you... but I agree that God is in control and maybe this child was not the one he has for you. I'll be praying that His will is done, whatever that is and that you will have peace, even if circumstances don't make sense at the time.

Starla December 6, 2007 at 3:24 PM  

I'm another stranger to you, but a Christian adoptive mom (3 from China), and I just want to let you know that many China moms are praying for you. God makes no mistakes, and He knew all about this surgery. If He puts that pull in your heart that this is your daughter.....just listen.


Christine December 6, 2007 at 4:04 PM  

Tami, Hope everything works out for that little girl. God Bless her and you guys too. I know your little girl is somewhere over there waiting for you. :)

Shelley December 6, 2007 at 5:03 PM  

Praying that the SDA will work with you on this & that the direction you are supposed to take will be made clear in your hearts.

Old DAN AND Little ANN December 6, 2007 at 9:29 PM  

When we first met Dima, I was surprised to see that he had what seemed to be a majoy eye problem. (It is called nystagmus and is related to the problem this little girl received the surgery for.) We had asked for none or minor problems and nystagmus isn't correctable by surgery. It can be improved by surgery in some cases but never totally goes away.

When we got back to the hotel that night, I felt so frustrated and afraid. I didn't want a damaged child. My vanity was really having a hard time coming to grips with his impairment. The strange thing is I was a little girl with COKE bottle glasses all my childhood and that was before they made the lenses that made your eyes look more normal with such an extreme prescription. I also loved Dima deeply. I had been praying for so long that God would supernaturally bond our hearts together long before we ever met. So, I knew that God had not brought us around the world to confront us with a decoy kid that we would need to deny before we were referred to the one that He really had for us. But, as we looked up nystagmus on the net and saw all the possible nuerological implications, my fears began to get the best of me again. I kept praying, "God help me not to lose sight of my faith in you and your authorship of my family." He led my vain, doubting heart straight away to a verse in Philippians 2. I still cannot read it without reliving the emotion of that day: "1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
6Who, being in very nature[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
7but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
8And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!

I'm sorry this is so bad, I did a copy/paste. All this to say, sometimes the road God has for us requires a little death on our parts. Death to our timelines, and to the pictures in our heads of how we thought it would go. But just like Christ's death produced something beyond glorious, so will our submission to His will... we only need to be still, listen, and He will reveal to us exactly what that will is. We love you guys and will be in prayer for you!

Is Eight Enough? December 7, 2007 at 12:44 AM  


It was so exciting to read that you thought you had found Maddie. I am sorry that you have had this glitch come up. I am praying that God will make it quite clear to you as to how you are to proceed!!!

Romans 15:13
"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

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