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day 7

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Seven days down...three to go.
Not too bad.
It's gone pretty quickly.
In Ukraine, you have to wait 10 days for the court decree to take affect. It gives you time to bond with your child...and a chance for anyone who wants to, to contest the decision.
But once that wait is over...they're yours.
Only three more days until I'm officially a mommy of four.
Wow.
We've been pretty lucky with this part of the process...four days of our wait have come over the weekend...and the 10 days are up on a Sunday. So Monday we can immediately get to work on finishing up the paperwork.
The end is in sight.
I'm not sure what day I'll finally get custody of Maddie. Technically I should be able to get custody of her on Monday, but my facilitator is suggesting that we let her stay in the orphanage for a few more days while we run around and finish up the paperchase.
The mommy side of me wants to scream, 'NO!' I want my child out of there as quickly as possible.
But the reasonable side of me knows at this point Maddie doesn't know any differently. She's always been at the orphanage. In fact, taking her away from the only home she has ever known will be traumatic. Why add to the trauma by dragging her all of creation, trying to hunt down papers?
It's bad enough for me...I can't imagine subjecting a toddler to it.
So, she'll stay...but just until we get the paperwork done.
Then I'm springing her from that joint! :)
Today's visit went well. We stayed inside even though the other children went out. It worked out much better.
We were able to sit and read, eat and work on our vocabulary.
A French couple is also adopting from this orphange...their daughter is younger than Maddie. They stayed in too. It was a little crowded, but we got along just fine. They spoke a little English so we were able to talk about timelines and development. You know...typical international adoptive parent stuff. ;)
I had a great moment with Maddie today. While the other family was off playing a game, Maddie and I ate some raisins - actually, she ate the raisins, I fed them to her.
When she was done, she climbed up in my lap and I started rocking her. As we rocked, she snuggled in closer.
She was the most relaxed I have ever seen her...and she did a great job of making eye contact. What a wonderful gift. The first signs of true bonding.
Sigh.
All too soon the visit was over and I headed back to the apartment. I dropped off Maddie's backpack and grabbed my grocery list. It was time to go grocery shopping. I hadn't really done much shopping since Meshack left.
I needed...

  • - milk
  • - water
  • - butter
  • - bread
  • - cheese
  • - chicken
  • - salt
  • - pepper
  • - potatoes
  • - chocolate
  • - crackers
I found everything but the crackers. I wasn't expecting to find saltines...just kind of hoping. I want to make some potato soup and crackers with butter sounds really good right now.
Finding the salt and pepper turned out to be a little more difficult than I expected. I didn't realize how many spices look like pepper. And the salt is not the finely ground stuff we're used to. But I finally figured it out.
I carried the groceries the five and a half blocks back to the apartment, stopping every so often to switch the bags around. I never realized just how heavy a 2 liter bottle of water could be! :)
I got 'home', put the groceries away, fixed lunch - scrambled eggs and cheese, changed into sweats and was just settling on the couch to read a book when I heard someone fumbling with my front door. I could hear them speaking Russian as they messed with it.
Finally, they knocked.
It was the cleaning crew.
Can I just say, 'I want one!'
I want a cleaning crew.
They came in and had my place sparkling in less than a hour.
Meshack...when I get home can I have a cleaning crew?!
Pleeeeeease????
After they left, all was quiet.
So quiet, I fell asleep.
I woke two hours later (boy, I must have been tired) and it was dark outside. Too late to go do anything, so I snuggled back under the covers and watched 'While You Were Sleeping.'
A pretty do-nothing kind of day.
But a good one.
And I'm one more day closer to springing Maddie! ;)

18 salty messages:

Waitingonmyua2 January 18, 2008 at 7:23 AM  

Enjoy this calm before the next round of crazy running around and dealing with various offices. I am praying all that goes smoothly, though. And so glad to hear of your snuggle time with Maddie.

Anna fell asleep in my arms last night for the first time. She sat on my lap watching TV and was so relaxed, she fell asleep - just like a baby! :o)

hugs,
Beth

kate January 18, 2008 at 8:19 AM  

May I suggest a backpack for carrying your 2L of water and other heavy things. Really makes shopping easier.

Good luck finding crackers. I'm glad I prefer toast. ;>

Soon, and VERY soon!

Anonymous,  January 18, 2008 at 8:41 AM  

I'd say you two are definitely bonding - wonderful! I think Maddie will be so happy to have found her Mama and Papa at last that she won't mind too much leaving the orphanage.
By the way, if you get your cleaning crew when you get home, I want to borrow it!!
How was the potato soup? - Melinda H.

Jane January 18, 2008 at 8:49 AM  

Good for you. Make the most of this time, when do you ever get a chance to take a 2 hour nap at home. My husband & I had a great time in Ukraine, relaxing, watching movies, walking in -25 degree weather....

Jane

Anonymous,  January 18, 2008 at 9:10 AM  

Hi, our SDA appt. is on 1/22. We are adopting from the Odessa region. Can you email me off line to answer a couple of questions? Thanks! coonss@comcast.net

Kathy and Matt January 18, 2008 at 9:16 AM  

I think you're smart to consider leaving her there while you run around getting some of the last paperwork done. It is so tough to drag a toddler with you, even in the US where you know exactly what's going on and when it will be done.

It sounds like your afternoon was a great one for you. Enjoy that quiet time (and the cleaning crew!).

It's great to know that Maddie will soon be with you full time!

Gail,  January 18, 2008 at 10:14 AM  

Yay!! 3 More Days!! That is neat about the snuggling. Guess that's what mommies are for.
Gail

Missy January 18, 2008 at 10:35 AM  

I am very excited that you are so close to having your baby in your arms forever!! I LOVED the video! She is one smart cookie!

adoptedthree January 18, 2008 at 11:12 AM  

I noticed your list was missing something...um Chocolate!!

I loved loved loved the chocolate bars and had one every day for a little me treat!

Maybe you could also check and see if there is a salon nearby and maybe get a pedicure and manicure or your hair washed and styled, just indulge yourself! I got a 3.00 ped and a 2.00 french manicure!

The O'Haras January 18, 2008 at 11:14 AM  

Tami, glad to hear you found most things at the grocery store. You should use the one that is in the building next to McDonalds in the basement though, that way you don't have to carry things as far and we found it to be nicer to use for the most part...same chain, just closer to you...they are open til 11 PM if I remember correctly.

Enjoy someone still taking care of Maddie why you run around. It will give you a chance to relax at the end of the day....soon enough there will be no end of the day for you ;)

God Bless as you continue to be in our thoughts and prayers!

Tami January 18, 2008 at 12:10 PM  

That's where I was shopping...the grocery store next to McDonalds. I'm staying in the Odessa Executive Suites...I'm just not at the main building. I'm on Boonina street which is 4 to 5 blocks away. I've considered asking to move over to the other building, but I don't know how I would get all my stuff over there! :)

Lisa January 18, 2008 at 12:15 PM  

We never found saltine crackers in Perm or Moscow either! We finally settled for some that were more or less like Ritz.

Glad you're coming to the end of your waiting period!

Ashley January 18, 2008 at 1:17 PM  

What a wonderful day. So sweet Maddie letting you rock her. :) The end is in sight and I do believe it will be easier running around while she is still at the internot. I know it is hard because I would want my child right away, but it will be very soon.

That nap sounds nice.

Still praying...

Christina January 18, 2008 at 2:31 PM  

I love that she's cuddling with you and making eye contact - such great progress!
How long is the running around part supposed to take? It makes sense to keep her routine until you can totally focus on her, but I know you're anxious to have her with you permanently. Hope the paperwork can be done quickly!

Kevin and Krista January 18, 2008 at 6:22 PM  

Wow, you are getting so close to bringing her home. :) I think your afternoon sounds wonderful.

Krista

Jim H. January 18, 2008 at 6:33 PM  

Hello! Thanks for your comment on our blog...so glad we are now able to join your on your journey. We also have a son adopted from Russia and now have a Roosky-Ukraine combo family!

Tina in CT January 18, 2008 at 8:22 PM  

You are wise to do all the hectic running around without Maddie as it'll go much faster. Since she has led a sheltered life and doesn't understand English, it would be difficult for her to understand what was going on. The time is so close to when she is totally part of your family and with you for her trip home to Dad and her brothers and sister.

Take advantage of the rare qkuiet moments as you probably won't have many of those in the next 15 years until Maddie is a freshman in college.

I read in Nataliya's blog about your meeting at lunch. How exciting for both of you as you've shared so much through blogs on your roads to adoption in Odessa. It must have been an emmotional meeting for both of you. I'm so happy that you got to meet.

Elaine January 18, 2008 at 8:48 PM  

Chocolate and a cleaning crew? And snuggle and eye contact, too? All in one day? Heaven. Glad things are going well for you.

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