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the day Maddie made the police blotter

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The policeman said we shouldn't call him anymore.

Every evening when I get home, I am immediately accosted at the door with my kids version of the 6 p.m. news.
'Mom...we got to go to the park today and we slid down the slides. (Like I've never taken them before.)
'The dog puked on the floor...and I had to clean it up.'
'Mom, Sammy came by and we went bike riding, then we played baseball, then we ate popcicles, then we jumped on his trampoline, then we caught grasshoppers, then we...." You get the idea.
But today, I think my kids out-did themselves.
I had no sooner walked in the door when I was greeted by a crying Maddie and 'the informant' - also known as Anya.
'I talked to a police man today, Mom.'
'Oh, that's nice honey,' I said absentmindedly, trying to figure out why Maddie was crying. "Was he nice?"
"Mmmm-Hmmmm," she said. "But he said we shouldn't call him anymore."
"What?!" I choked out...now she had my full attention.
"Maddie called him. She dialed 9-1-1."
O.M.W. In the almost 10 years that I've been a parent, I have NEVER had a child so much as pick up the phone to dial ANY. ONE. Let alone 9-1-1!!!!!


I think my kids are going to scare off the babysitter. She is a temp...and she's had a few harrowing days this week. The regular girl is on vacation...something about floating down the Missouri River with her family.

I think that's where I'd rather be right now.
By the way - it turns out Maddie was crying because she decided it would be fun to slide down the stairs on her tummy and ended up with a couple of rather large rug burns on her stomach.
After the phone fiasco I have to admit, it took all I had in me to be compassionate. Something about natural consequences kept floating through my mind.
Am I going to survive this child's childhood?!
And I thought Nick was a challenge!

7 salty messages:

Carlee July 16, 2009 at 12:21 AM  

My son pulled that trick also. Twice. In one week. Both completely accidental. We lived in a very small town. Humiliating, to the point of wanting to move.

One time the operator could hear our entire dinner conversation since the phone has been nicely laid on the couch, still connected to 911. The police officer came to the door shortly after we discovered the phone was on and we hung it up. Gulp.

The second time our son hid under the table when the officer knocked.

So, good luck with that one. It might become the family joke like it is with us. Except, it's not really funny.

JP July 16, 2009 at 4:57 AM  

LOL! Thankfully she talked to him! We had one of ours dial 911 and hang up. Police swarmed the house, bursting in with hands on their firearms. It was pretty traumatic, but haven't had any sneaky 911 calls since!

Courtney July 16, 2009 at 7:31 AM  


Oh, can I just tell you that this sounds JUST LIKE MY WEEK!!

Annie July 16, 2009 at 8:31 AM  

Ha! The rug burns are amusing. It reminds me of the day my austere Great Aunt (at age 99) took me to the home she grew up in - an elegant Victorian. I little expected her to immediately being telling me how she and her brothers used to sit on pillows and slide down the imposing oak staircase! Somehow that made me much more understanding when my kids tried the same thing. I gather a cardboard box, flattened, works better on carpeted stairs, like at my mom's...but pillows definitely are better on wood. Zhen will join Maddie in their personal opinion that bottom-sliding beats tummy-sliding.

Tina in CT July 16, 2009 at 11:16 AM  

Natalia (age 18 months - 2 years old)tried to order a pizza from Moscow shortly after they moved as she picked up her mother's cell and hit speed dial and the pizza parlor in Brooklyn, NY, came up. Wonder if they would have delivered it?

At least you did not get them breaking down your dog with guns drawn.

Write it in your book that you will write one day.

Troy and Rachel July 17, 2009 at 10:15 AM  

Seriously laughing my tail off at the moment!!! I can't believe she did that. Oh well, like you said, rug burn in return!!

Elaine July 17, 2009 at 12:13 PM  

I've never had to deal with the 911thing yet. Oh how I hope I never do! You will survive her childhood, but not without a few extra gray hairs. :)

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