Friday, July 10, 2009
my job is seriously interrupting my blogging mojo
Let me just start by saying...
Yes, I'm still alive...
No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...
Yes, I'm still living in the Emerald City...
No, I haven't caught up with my mountain of laundry...
Yes, my job is SERIOUSLY interrupting my blogging mojo...
...and No! I don't have plans to quit the paper any time soon! The insurance is too good. :)
I'm trying guys, honest. Every day I sit at my desk, writing my heart out, coming up with ideas for new articles on the Lifestyles page of my newspaper. Tracking down sources and writing paragraph after paragraph.
Then after nine hours of wracking my brain for writing material, I make the 25 minute drive home, all the time wondering what in the world I going to blog about.
You know what?
It's hard to write a family blog, when you don't see your family!
The next three hours are spent making dinner, feeding the kids, hanging out in the living room and getting them tucked into bed.
By the time 9 o'clock rolls around any blogging material I've picked up in the last three hours has evaporated into thin air due to sheer exhaustion!
I do have a queue of story ideas floating around in my mind, bumping into the walls of my mind because all the rest of my gray matter has been used up at work!
I'm hoping to start kicking things into high gear again soon. Even if I have to join another Nablopomo contest. I have to tell you about a missionary friend's visit last Sunday. Then there's the waaaaay overdue Maddie progress report...and I've GOT to tell you about my brother's close encounter with the rich and INCREDIBLY famous. ;)
But first...some unfinished business...
Every once in awhile I wish I had a crystal ball, a fairy godmother or a magic mirror that would give me all the answers I seek.
Thankfully, I have a Heavenly Father who is there to listen and offer guidance, but on some matters He remains
This is one of those times.
I know it sounds a tad melodramatic, but I really have been doing some soul searching over this whole private versus public blog thing.
I LOVE blogging. Love it. It has been a wonderful cathartic experience for me both during and after Maddie's adoption. But the openness has become both a blessing and a curse. So many people we've known in real life have been touched by Maddie and her open, unquenchable spirit. They have embraced her and opened their hearts and minds to adoption.
But it has also meant her struggles have been out there for everyone to see...including people who know her in real life. And I've been struggling for awhile about the fairness of that.
Mostly because of Maddie's communication struggles, she has had absolutely no say in having her story out here for everyone to read. I have tried to be careful in not sharing too much of her history - in order to protect her privacy.
And I think I've succeeded.
But the truth remains that so many of the people she comes into contact with each day know much more about her...than she does about them. Its the curse of living in a small town. For all the blessings that the Emerald City offers, privacy isn't one of them. ;)
And then there's the struggle with the reality that this blog offers a bridge between pre-adoptive parents and those of us who have walked that road before them.
I've had three emails from PAPs this week, looking for more information about Ukraine, the process and what we've faced since bringing Maddie home.
That tells me this blog is still resonating with PAPs. That there is still a purpose to it, besides just journaling our life's story.
I remember all of the struggles and questions we went through before each one of our adoptions. I read everything I could get my hands on. EVERY. THING. I want to be that source to PAPS.
So, I've made a decision.
I'm going to keep this blog open, because I think its important for prospective adoptive parents to have a look inside a post-adoption family. But I want to keep the option open to protect Alek, Anya, Nick and Maddie's privacy.
I'm going to make a mirror site over at WordPress.
I think it will work the best for allowing me to password protect some posts...just the ones I think are important for PAPs, or that I need adoptive parent feedback on...but that our real life acquaintances don't need to read about.
The site, will just be just that, a mirror. Sunflower Seeds will remain the primary site and will continue to be the source for the majority of my posts.
Word Press will only host the private posts.
Now before you all go pushing the comment button asking me for the password, let me post my rules. The Wordpress blog will obviously be password protected...and only a certain number of people will be invited.
I will only be allowing...
1. People I don't know IRL...
2. People who I know IRL, but do not live near us and therefore have limited day to day experience with my kids...this includes all of our friends from Wyoming, Iowa, Illinois and other points across the country. Many of them dear, dear friends and prayer warriors. Everyone needs a prayer warrior! :)
3. International adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents.
I want to apologize right now to my Emerald City friends...so many of you are dear to me. Your support during Maddie's adoption was priceless and I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything, but I think its necessary to give my children back a little bit of their privacy.
Besides...chances are, some of you will be hearing about the private blog stories in person.
My only other options would be to make this blog completely private or to shut Sunflower Seeds down altogether.
hoping sure none of us wants THAT!
I hope this option works.
And I hope you understand.