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Friday, July 10, 2009

my job is seriously interrupting my blogging mojo

Let me just start by saying...
Yes, I'm still alive...
No, I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...
Yes, I'm still living in the Emerald City...
No, I haven't caught up with my mountain of laundry...
Yes, my job is SERIOUSLY interrupting my blogging mojo...
...and No! I don't have plans to quit the paper any time soon! The insurance is too good. :)
I'm trying guys, honest. Every day I sit at my desk, writing my heart out, coming up with ideas for new articles on the Lifestyles page of my newspaper. Tracking down sources and writing paragraph after paragraph.
Then after nine hours of wracking my brain for writing material, I make the 25 minute drive home, all the time wondering what in the world I going to blog about.
You know what?
It's hard to write a family blog, when you don't see your family!
The next three hours are spent making dinner, feeding the kids, hanging out in the living room and getting them tucked into bed.
By the time 9 o'clock rolls around any blogging material I've picked up in the last three hours has evaporated into thin air due to sheer exhaustion!
I do have a queue of story ideas floating around in my mind, bumping into the walls of my mind because all the rest of my gray matter has been used up at work!
I'm hoping to start kicking things into high gear again soon. Even if I have to join another Nablopomo contest. I have to tell you about a missionary friend's visit last Sunday. Then there's the waaaaay overdue Maddie progress report...and I've GOT to tell you about my brother's close encounter with the rich and INCREDIBLY famous. ;)
But first...some unfinished business...
Every once in awhile I wish I had a crystal ball, a fairy godmother or a magic mirror that would give me all the answers I seek.
Thankfully, I have a Heavenly Father who is there to listen and offer guidance, but on some matters He remains madeningly silent.
This is one of those times.
I know it sounds a tad melodramatic, but I really have been doing some soul searching over this whole private versus public blog thing.
I LOVE blogging. Love it. It has been a wonderful cathartic experience for me both during and after Maddie's adoption. But the openness has become both a blessing and a curse. So many people we've known in real life have been touched by Maddie and her open, unquenchable spirit. They have embraced her and opened their hearts and minds to adoption.
But it has also meant her struggles have been out there for everyone to see...including people who know her in real life. And I've been struggling for awhile about the fairness of that.
Mostly because of Maddie's communication struggles, she has had absolutely no say in having her story out here for everyone to read. I have tried to be careful in not sharing too much of her history - in order to protect her privacy.
And I think I've succeeded.
But the truth remains that so many of the people she comes into contact with each day know much more about her...than she does about them. Its the curse of living in a small town. For all the blessings that the Emerald City offers, privacy isn't one of them. ;)
And then there's the struggle with the reality that this blog offers a bridge between pre-adoptive parents and those of us who have walked that road before them.
I've had three emails from PAPs this week, looking for more information about Ukraine, the process and what we've faced since bringing Maddie home.
That tells me this blog is still resonating with PAPs. That there is still a purpose to it, besides just journaling our life's story.
I remember all of the struggles and questions we went through before each one of our adoptions. I read everything I could get my hands on. EVERY. THING. I want to be that source to PAPS.
So, I've made a decision.
I'm going to keep this blog open, because I think its important for prospective adoptive parents to have a look inside a post-adoption family. But I want to keep the option open to protect Alek, Anya, Nick and Maddie's privacy.
Soooo.....
I'm going to make a mirror site over at WordPress.
I think it will work the best for allowing me to password protect some posts...just the ones I think are important for PAPs, or that I need adoptive parent feedback on...but that our real life acquaintances don't need to read about.
The site, will just be just that, a mirror. Sunflower Seeds will remain the primary site and will continue to be the source for the majority of my posts.
Word Press will only host the private posts.
Now before you all go pushing the comment button asking me for the password, let me post my rules. The Wordpress blog will obviously be password protected...and only a certain number of people will be invited.
I will only be allowing...

1. People I don't know IRL...
2. People who I know IRL, but do not live near us and therefore have limited day to day experience with my kids...this includes all of our friends from Wyoming, Iowa, Illinois and other points across the country. Many of them dear, dear friends and prayer warriors. Everyone needs a prayer warrior! :)
3. International adoptive parents or prospective adoptive parents.

I want to apologize right now to my Emerald City friends...so many of you are dear to me. Your support during Maddie's adoption was priceless and I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything, but I think its necessary to give my children back a little bit of their privacy.
Besides...chances are, some of you will be hearing about the private blog stories in person.
My only other options would be to make this blog completely private or to shut Sunflower Seeds down altogether.
And I'm hoping sure none of us wants THAT!
I hope this option works.
And I hope you understand.

20 salty messages:

Mary July 11, 2009 at 8:11 AM  

I'd love to be able to read your private blog - I've been following along on this one for a few months now. I guess I fit two of the rules - I don't know you IRL and I am hoping to adopt in the future (you know, when I'm a little older than 22 :-P ). Anyway, my email address is maryhamiltonfrench (at) gmail (dot) com
Thanks!

Annie July 11, 2009 at 9:35 AM  

You certain hit the nail on the head in a couple of areas... Working full time really crimps enjoying motherhood, doesn't it? It would really limit the material for a family-story-only blog. That's why I decided to mix in some "work" stuff, too. (I'd love it if you'd do that, too.) However, I now have TWO areas in which I have to cringe. There is a a LOT more I'd love to say about work right now....but can't. Just on the off-chance someone I know reads it. I know I have one follower who is a parishioner. And, I've hesitated to write about Maxim (even under that false name) because.....who knows? The one parishioner who is a reader has not had any reason to see or know Maxim....but, still.... I know you understand.

So, basically, I just have not let the people I know know I have a blog. That makes my blog almost my "secret life"....yet it is the open and honest life, which makes things balance strangely, i.e. I feel closer to my blog friends than I do to my IRL friends. That seems wrong, but true.

And, of course I'd love to read the Secret Blog of Tami, however uncomfortable I am with Wordpress and however often I have to start over and get a new password because I lost the last one.

Tami July 11, 2009 at 9:50 AM  

Annie...I plan on including some work stuff - which will also be on the private blog. ;>)

Tina in CT July 11, 2009 at 11:02 AM  

I fit in to the criteria as I don't know you IRL - whew. I'd really, really miss your blog. I look forward to it daily and seeing the kids grow.

I can just imagine what it's like when you get home at night after getting the kids (if they are at a sitter's), cooking, laundry, kid and husband time and where does that leave time for Tami?

Maybe the older kids can take over the dishes after dinner and some laundry to ease your chores.

kate July 11, 2009 at 11:22 AM  

yep. i don't want irl folks, even ones who live far away, to know about d2b's past and struggles. i want and need the support and outlet...but don't know what to do once she's home. because i *know* there will be struggles.

curious to hear how you like wordpress.

and of COURSE want an invite!!

Bethany July 11, 2009 at 1:38 PM  

Sounds like a good plan to me! Can I get in on the fun? I promise I'll never move to the Emerald City!

Elaine July 11, 2009 at 6:06 PM  

You know I want in on your mirror blog, and I believe I meet all the requirments ;) Totally understand about the whole privacy thing, of course. I still haven't told anyone in my new town about it, and only told one or two friends from my old town as we were moving.

Carlee July 11, 2009 at 8:09 PM  

For the First time I am glad I don't know you IRL!

I would love to keep reading, and see the reality of adoption.

carleerussell@gmail.com

nipsy July 11, 2009 at 9:20 PM  

I understand your problems here. On one hand, your struggles are an inspiration. On the other hand, you have your children's safety to worry about. Hence the reason I have NO pictures of my children online, no mention of my real name anywhere, no city mention(or if I do, its a mis-direct), and no private information such as school names or things like that. As much as I love blogging about my personal adventures, their safety comes first. Good Luck to what ever you do decide to do.

Tina in CT July 11, 2009 at 10:24 PM  

Kate,

I'd love an invite to your blog as I miss it.

Tina in CT

Tina in CT July 11, 2009 at 10:25 PM  

Tami,

I just read your comment on your Twitter box on your blog about the mom mobile. Are you care shopping? Don't you need a mini van to fit all the kids in? Good luck car shopping.

Tina

Tammy July 12, 2009 at 2:19 PM  

I meet your qualifications AND can be a resource for potential adoptive parents in Ukraine because I LIVE here! Please?
tswailes@yahoo.com
Thanks.

Shelley July 12, 2009 at 6:55 PM  

For once, I'm glad I don't know someone IRL! I'd love to continue to follow along. I've been reading your blog since we brought Xander home....while you were still compiling your dossier to go to Ukraine!

Jan R. July 12, 2009 at 10:02 PM  

I would love to have an invite! I don't know you IRL ... but I have followed all along since you went to the Ukraine to get Maddie!

And... I live way out on the West Coast in CA ... and promise my husband will never want to move to the Emerald City!

Jan
Oak Park, CA
janrosen 5 at g mail dot com
(no spaces!)
:)

Rachael July 13, 2009 at 10:21 AM  

I've been mulling over a switch to wordpress too. I've let way too many people I know in real life in on my blog and I understand your challenges with protecting your children's privacy! Hope you'll include me when you make the switch -- I'm interested to see how it goes!

adoptedthree July 13, 2009 at 10:53 AM  

All great thoughts. Sometimes, I wish that I had not allowed so much of my children to be shared too.

I personally have kept the history of one of my children private. It is not for me to post the struggles that face him everyday.

Oksana on the other hand I hope will allow others to think about Cleft adoptions and the children and perhaps she can help one family change their perception about the condition. I wish i had known more before I took the step.

I would love to follow along, but like you I rarely have time to post to my own blogs!

boomerseyler@yahoo.com

Leanna

Mike & Tara July 13, 2009 at 12:38 PM  

I certainly think that's a fair option!! I hope to be included on the WordPress blog - but if not then I'll just follow along here! :o) I'll always be a prayer warrior for you guys!

Tell us about the car shopping... We had a mini-SUV car rental on vacation and now I'm wondering how in the world I can go back to our car. I was saying some choice words under my breath trying to get Emma into the car seat yesterday. It's so much easier in an SUV! :o)

jessy July 13, 2009 at 12:51 PM  

Boy, am I glad I never made that planned trip to Kansas to meet you in real life. Technically, I still don't KNOW YOU-know you (ya know?), I'm down here in Texas, and I have adopted internationally so I am covered.

Erin July 13, 2009 at 8:07 PM  

I have to admit, I'm a little glad to see that you have a hard time keeping up with 4 kids, working 40 hours a week, and blogging. I don't have any kids, and I have a hard time keeping up with 2 cats in addition to work. Of course, I miss hearing from you, but I'm glad I'm not the only one who wishes there were more hours in the day. I would also love to be invited to the Wordpress blog. I don't know you IRL...live in Maine...if you need more info, let me know. Email is eemt81 @ yahoo . com....without the spaces, of course.

Audrey July 14, 2009 at 10:48 AM  

Hi Tami - I'd love an invite to the private blog! I meet the criteria ;)

Thanks!!

audrey_baker at cox dot net

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