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reassurance

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

I need someone to remind me...
Things will get better...
She eventually will get it...
Someday I won't have to deal with this anymore.
Please.
Someone remind me.
I really don't have time to hash it all out right now, but let's just say Maddie is trying us.
Big time.
And I'm tired.
Sigh.


14 salty messages:

Tina in CT October 14, 2009 at 5:16 AM  

Sorry to hear that things have been rough.

Courtney October 14, 2009 at 7:19 AM  

Yes, she will get it. Unfortunately I don't know when. I've seen enough progress with mine (who came home almost the same time as Maddie! ;)) to know that they will get it. We too go through phases of testing. Someone posted on their blog about their child (who has RAD--different situation) being afraid to heal. In some ways, I think all of our kids go through that. They get to a point where they're making great progress and then all of a sudden it's like "wait, I'm not sure I'm ready for this" and we see regression and testing, at least over here. Sigh. I wish I could tell you it will be better tomorrow. I just don't know. But it will get better.

Rachael October 14, 2009 at 7:24 AM  

She's had a lot going on in her little life - with the move back to Kansas, you working, new school. Maybe she's just rebelling or acting out because she's tired too! Hopefully it's just a phase. Hang in there! Virtual hugs to you.

Diana October 14, 2009 at 8:14 AM  

Keep at it and keep being patient with her and keep working on attachment with her. Fall is a really tough time for my kids as well thanks to it being a trauma anniversary for them. Halloween doesn't help any of that one little bit, either! The days leading up to Mother's Day are horrible, too. Not only is it Mother's Day, but it's also another big trauma anniversary.

Indeed, she will eventually get it. Even my little RADalicious ones are starting to get it and it gets better every year. It might not be today or even tomorrow that everything finally clicks for her, but as you look back at where she was and where she's been, you'll see amazing progress. It just comes a little bit at a time.

MoonDog October 14, 2009 at 9:54 AM  

well we are in the same boat. everyone assures me that Sophie is acting similar to other kids in this situation. and it wont last forever. I feel your pain sister. one day at a time. just one day at a time.

Erin October 14, 2009 at 10:48 AM  

She will get it. Just look at how far she's come. It's a slow process, although we wish it wasn't. Good luck, and know that we're all praying for you.

Conethia and Jim Bob October 14, 2009 at 12:06 PM  

Hang in there, honey!! Our "trials" come in weeks of two's. Take a deep breath!

Debbie October 14, 2009 at 12:32 PM  

Tami, I am tired, too. Elaine is 14 years old and is trying us a LOT. It's hard to understand how someone who comes from having essentially nothing becomes a spoiled child, expecting us to give her everything she wants and candy every day and, and, and. I am sure it will get better with Maddie. I hear this all the time on other adoptive parents' blogs. Our situation is getting better after being home three months, but I tell you, last night I wanted to get in the car and leave. I did get in the car...in the garage...and just hid for a while. :-) Big hugs to you!!

Bethany October 14, 2009 at 2:00 PM  

She'll get there! Watch her while she's sleeping one night, and it will remind you of why you love her so much, and how that love feels.

Elaine October 14, 2009 at 4:34 PM  

Sorry things are challenging right now. It will get better. She will get it. How long has it been since you moved back to KS? A therapist friend who has done a lot of work with kids once told me that children frequently act out in response to a major change or upheaval about 3 months or so after the change.

Christine October 14, 2009 at 4:44 PM  

Big hugs. If you ever want to talk, I'm here. If I get a chance I will email you privately.

MamaPoRuski October 14, 2009 at 6:36 PM  

All behavior is communication, what is she trying to communicate this time? Was there a trigger? Praying for you! And I too hope they eventually get it-otherwise we are all sunk!

kitzkazventure October 14, 2009 at 8:03 PM  

My current theory is... Maybe it is seasonal mood changes....maybe they didn't have experiences with seasons in the baby houses? ;) All I know is the cool weather hit and out the door went our calm and listening most the time son (came home to us at 3)....I just think they have cycles like Courtney said. Nick has been home 2 1/2 years and today I was seeing early first 6 months behavior ....only now in English!
I can tell you it does get better, every cycle seems shorter and your ability to handle it gets better or at least you know more "this too shall pass". I have noticed though that occasionally I get spoiled with the "normal" behavior and when the "uglies" come back, I react quicker and less tolerant than before.....I just "forget" how to deal successfully. It is all a part of the journey, I suppose. Hugs to you and prayers for perserverance! ;)

Old DAN AND Little ANN October 18, 2009 at 11:12 AM  

There are many midnights in parenting - bringing imperfect souls into adulthood - but THANK JESUS the morning comes and He is with us through all the watches of the night!

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