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Friday, February 24, 2012

Today was the day.
She let him go.


the waiting game

Saturday, February 18, 2012

The interviews are over.
Now we wait.
And you know how I feel about waiting. Unfortunately, for me and those in my immediate vicinity, I'll be at it for at least a couple of weeks. Neither job will be done with interviews until the beginning of March.
Both interviews went reasonably well. Unfortunately, both positions would take us back to what Shad earned right out of vet school...which means cutbacks and more than likely, I would have to find a full-time job.
Not exactly what any of us want to hear.
In the meantime, there's nothing new on the job boards, unless you count the position in Guam, but somehow I don't envision us moving our clan to an island the size of a postage stamp, out in the middle of the Philippine Sea.
Besides, it's hot there...and the mosquitoes are as big as your head.
No. I think we'll stick to the continental U.S., thank you very much.


time's up

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

I sent my husband out the door on a job interview this morning.
I would like to say I got up extra early, fixed him a big breakfast and kissed him as he walked out the door, but it was more like I mumbled 'good luck' before I rolled over and went back to sleep.
Cut me some slack. It was 4 a.m.
Shad is on his way to a town about 4 hours from here for a job interview this morning. This is the one I mentioned... the one he interviewed at about seven years ago. At the time they offered him the job, but we just couldn't make it work financially.
We're willing to take a second look now. ;)
But that's not all...
He has another interview on Friday. This one is back in the Sunflower State, although nowhere near our old home. (What is it that keeps drawing us back there?!)
Other than those two jobs, there is nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. on the job horizon. We haven't seen a job posting that Shad would be remotely qualified for in a couple of weeks...which is making me a bit nervous.
Why nervous, you ask? You have until the end of March, maybe even longer?
Hold on, my friends. Get this...
Last week, Shad's boss mentioned that after paying bills she doesn't have enough money to meet the next payroll. She's not sure where the money will come from.
And here we thought we would have until the end of March!
It now looks like our time here is running VERY short...maybe as short as a couple of weeks. Without Shad's job it will be impossible for us to stay here. The cost of living is just too high. We are looking at all kinds of options, including moving back to our hometown in Colorado. Our parents are checking into rental options for us. The good thing is that we would be surrounded by family. The bad thing is that the cost of working somewhere would go up significantly. Living in Home-On-The-Range (or maybe I should call it Centennial, even though there is another Colorado town named Centennial. It reminds me of James Michner's book) requires a LONG commute.
Shad is starting to consider adding a few new states to our search...but doing that would be VERY expensive (licensing and testing), so we're holding out for a little while longer on sending resumes out to new states. Unfortunately, we may not be able to hold out much longer.
The time crunch also meant it was time to talk to the kids, so this weekend we broke the news. It went about as we expected. On the surface, they all seem fine with it...a little disappointed, but understanding. But we're already seeing signs of old issues popping back up.
Alek is back to acting VERY insecure. He's not quite sure if we'll pick him up from school and is feeling compelled to text us several times for reassurance (thank goodness for cell phones. ;) Anya and Nick seem to be doing alright so far, but Maddie is back to hoarding food and her bossy/manipulative/sneaky mean orphanage behavior.
Thankfully, nothing like it was four years ago...or even last summer.
It could be SO much worse, right?
That's something to be thankful for.


what I know

Saturday, February 4, 2012

Who says it takes 30 days to change a habit?
Give me a life-altering crisis and I am a chameleon...a leopard who can change my spots...one old dog who can learn new tricks.
You can now call me 'the sta!ker,' because unlike BEFORE (snort), I now LIVE on the internet. I scour all the job sites searching for new entries...punching the refresh button over and over on the job board at the AVMA in hopes that someone will have just entered a new position Shad will be perfect for.
So far...nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Oh there are jobs in Islip, NY and Stratford, CT, but nothing even CLOSE to our part of the country. And moving all the way across the country is something we're not quite ready to do...yet.
That day may come...but for now we're trying really hard to stay somewhat close to our familiar. I'm willing to move around the Midwest. I don't know that any of us are ready to head to either coast.
In the meantime, Shad has sent one lonely little resume out to a clinic that he interviewed for back in 2003. They offered him the job at the time, but we turned it down due to financial concerns.
It's looking pretty good to us right now! :)
Unfortunately, they're not calling us back...that door may be shut.
Lots of doors are shutting right now...and unfortunately, we don't see God opening any windows.
A friend posted a picture on Facebook the other day that say... 'Faith isn't believing God can, it's knowing God WILL.'
I'm working on knowing...really, I am.


trading places

Friday, February 3, 2012

I never did send that email.
Oh, I planned to. I had all kinds of great intentions, but then I thought, 'I'll wait until I calm down a little. Let me think it over and rework it.'
And then life happened.
We need your prayers my friends... like never before!
As you all know, we moved back to Grab-Your-Lasso about six months ago in order to purchase a vet clinic. The plan was to work for a couple of years for the owner, then gradually buy-in, before purchasing it outright a few years after that.
This week those plans changed.
The owner called Shad into the office and laid him off. Unbeknownst to us, she hasn't been taking a paycheck for the last several months, and it is to the point where she can't really afford to pay Shad either. Since we're not in a position to buy the clinic yet, she is letting him go as of March 31.
In the midst of all of this, we can see God's provision. She didn't have to give us two months to find something else. She could have sent Shad packing that very day...but she didn't. God has given us some time...which we are SO thankful for.
She is also allowing him as much time as he needs to search for a new position and to travel for interviews. Again...God's provision.
However, I would be lying if I said I wasn't worried...and yes, maybe even a bit scared.
I'm not letting it win. Really, I'm not. God has truly given me a peace about all of this. It's just a little scary.
Two months isn't that long, really to find a job.
Shad has already started the job search and we have let our parents and closer friends know... about this, but we have NO idea how to break it to the kids. Obviously, we need to do that before they either overhear something or figure it out on their own.
After all the drama/trauma of last summer, when Shad moved here without us, we're concerned about how the kids will take it this time...every last one of them.
Last summer, Alek (13) regressed into asking question after question after question about the situation, and this time I have no answers for him. Anya (11) was my shadow, making sure I didn't leave her sight. Nick (10), who I thought was okay, turned out to be internalizing everything. He STILL won't go to anyone's house to spend the night...even a cousin's home. And Maddie (almost 8 - can you believe it?) regressed into true orphanage behavior. I can't WAIT to see how that plays itself out at school.
I think the thing that saddens me the most, though, is the fact that once again, we're packing the kids up, moving to a new town, starting at a new school and making new friends. When we signed up to be parents the whole moving multiple times thing really wasn't on the radar. We figured we'd find a nice place to live, settle down and raise these kids...hopefully keeping them in the same school from K through 12.
Sigh. It's not to be.
While we really do love this place and we can't imagine living anywhere else, we're going to have to.
If you're the praying type, please send a few prayers up for us. That Shad will be able to find a job to support us... That the kids will (once we tell them) look at this as a new adventure... That I won't let myself be drawn into the 'what ifs' of fear... That our family will come out stronger...and that we'll finally have a place that we can truly call home.


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