Sunflower Seeds

all cracked up

2012-01-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

Whaaaaaa? She's back here now? What's up with that? Is she nuts?
Quite possibly.
Let's just say, I wasn't feeling the love over at the other blog. It was quiet...too quiet.
I miss the feedback...the comraderie...the real stuff. And so I'm back. For good. Oh, I'm still speaking, when asked...but I'm not pushing or promoting. I'm settling back, enjoying the kids, enjoying my work with CrossRiver and taking the time to get to try to discover what I'm really meant to do.
Besides, life with Maddie (and yes, we're back to nicknames...I missed those too ;) is interesting enough.
It's a like the tide. It ebbs and flows...most days are fantastic...others not so much. She literally makes HUGE strides for days, weeks, even months at a time and then WHAMO! She does something that blows you out of the water and leaves you wondering, 'Really, how much progress have we made.'
I need to be able to blog about that stuff...with people who get it.
So I've come back 'home' where it's safe. Where I can be myself. Where I can share the ups and downs without worrying if I'm hindering someone else's spiritual growth.
So here I am. Nuts and all.

Winter Wonderland

2011-12-29T13:52:00.001-08:00

merry christmas

2011-12-25T08:00:00.000-08:00

From our family to yours...

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

40 days and counting

2011-11-26T13:00:00.000-08:00

I've never been good at waiting. During every adoption process I complained about waiting. We waited for homestudies, federal government approvals, tax refunds, apostilles, dossier translations, doctor's appointments, SDA meetings, late trains, even later taxis...

Maddie's adoption was no different, but I've recently discovered it was nothing compared to waiting for 2012 to arrive. I've been waiting for it FOR. EVER.

Finally, in a few weeks, the waiting will be over. As the last sounds of Auld Lang Syne fade away, I will honestly be able to say I've been Maddie's mom most of her life. On Jan. 5, 2012, she will have been a part of our family longer than she was not.

WOOOHOOO! I can't wait.

Honestly, Maddie's transition into our family was so smooth it's a little embarrassing Don't get me wrong...we had our moments, but while other families struggled with honeymoon periods, deep mourning and irrational behavior, we found it only took a couple of weeks for it to feel like Maddie had always been a part of our family. THAT's how smoothly she fit in. There was a God-crafted-Maddie-sized hole in our family...and she filled the gap perfectly from day one.

So it came as a bit of a surprise to me a few months ago when I realized just how much I was looking forward to Maddie's half-way mark. I'm not exactly why I have put so much stock in that one day. We didn't make a big deal out of it for the first three kids. In fact I don't know that we even marked the day. They were so young when they came home that a little over a year after coming home, they'd reach the milestone. We'd say, 'Hey, that's cool,' and then move on.

But for Maddie it has taken four long years...and I guess I'm looking at it as a turning point of sorts. I know it's not realistic, but it seems as though from that moment on the spectre of the orphanage should begin to fade away. Maddie was older when she came home. She had more baggage...orphanage-related baggage. And for me, it feels like Jan. 5th marks the day when we may be able finally banish the invisible hold the orphanage has on my little girl's heart...and maybe to an extent, mine too.

anyone need a chauffer...

2011-11-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

...or a taxi driver...or perhaps a shuttle driver?

I'm thinking about hiring myself out. Really. At least that way I could make a buck or two.

It should come as no surprise that life in the Cowboy State requires driving...lots and lots of driving. I am not exaggerating when I tell you a Jr. High basketball game could easily run 100 miles round trip. Twice that isn't uncommon.

But I haven't driven to any ballgames in awhile and I'm still racking up the miles in no time.

Don't believe me? Well consider this! Yesterday I logged 102.1 miles on Blue Mama. That was one day, ladies! And I. DIDN'T. EVEN. LEAVE. THE. CITY. LIMITS.

I think I spent more time in the car yesterday than I spent at home. I KNOW I spent more time in the car yesterday than I did in front of my computer actually working and trying to earn some money. Something is going to have to give.

The good news is I LOVE my Blazer. LOVE. IT. I not only fit in with the 30,000 other residents of Grab-Your-Lasso that own a gas-guzzling SUV...but it has heated seats.

God bless the person who invented those seat-heaters. I could just hug them. Really. And I'm not huggy.

Last night I did something to my back. I'm not exactly sure what it was that triggered the twinge...maybe all those hours sitting in Blue Mama...but by the time I made my fourth trip back to the other side of town to take the kids to AWANA I was about in tears. It hurt to even breath.

And then I thought of my seat-warmer...and I turned it on.

Minutes later my back was blissfully warm. The pain wasn't completely gone, but I didn't care. I had a warm seat.

So, see? This chauffer thing might not be so bad after all. I'm driving anyway...AND I have heated seats. My home office doesn't have heated seats.

I think I may have found my calling. :)

a shot in the dark

2011-11-16T08:58:00.000-08:00

Crisis averted! I finally figured out what happened to Maddie's shot record.

First a little bit of history...

When we moved to Wyoming, the school district didn't get her shot record. It simply wasn't there. I transferred all of her medical records to her new doctor and they couldn't find it either.

For the life of me I couldn't figure out what happened to it. All of our kids have always been up-to-date on their shots. Maddie was no different. I had made sure the doctor's office all of the necessary information about her background and all the medical stuff we had brought back with us from Ukraine. We had even run titers - which we had NEVER done with the other three kids...and the doctor was convinced we were all caught up.

Years went by and then we moved.

For MONTHS the old doctor's office, new doctor's office and I have been faxing information back and forth, trying to find her records. We couldn't figure out what happened to it. The old doctor is a shot-nazi. She recommended shots nobody in their right mind would WANT to take...let alone a kid. There is NO WAY she would have let us slide on this kid's shots.

All I needed was a statement from the doctor's office saying she was up-to-date but they wouldn't do that without the records.

Finally the district got sick of the run around. The school nurse called yesterday.

"If we don't get it taken care of soon, you'll have to keep Maddie home," she said. "She can't be at school without her shots. Are you sure she doesn't have anything in her adoption records."

Aha! That's where it was! I grabbed Maddie's adoption file and started sifting through it. Sure enough, there it was in black and white...a complete shot record. After further review the doctor's office is now convinced all she needs is one tetnus shot...which we can easily get in the next week.

I have to admit...I had nightmares of having to submit Maddie to the full series of shots. It was either that or lie and say we weren't getting shots because of religious reasons. And unfortunately for my daughter, I have this thing about lying. ;)

I try to teach the kids that lying is NEVER good. That we need to tell the truth even when it's hurts.

I am SO glad I didn't have to lead by example.

a punky kind of birthday

2011-11-04T16:27:00.000-07:00

My not-so-baby girl turns 11 tomorrow.

Wow...eleven. How did that happen?

It seems like just yesterday we met a shy, tiny toddler in a babyhouse in Russia. She was sitting across the room on a worn, wooden bench, picking dolls, horses and blocks out of a white fabric bag. Her face scrunched in concentration as she listened to what her speech teacher was saying.

Every so often she would glance our way, and then quickly go back to what she was doing...too frightened to come anywhere near us.

We slowly worked our way across the room...taking our time. Trying not to scare her...hoping she'd let us into her world. Slowly, she opened up to us. Letting us talk to her, play with her and eventually hold her.

Right then, we knew she was the one.

The little blond-haired, blue-eyed, tiny beauty had a personality so big, my husband nicknamed her Punky. And it stuck.

Nine years later, she's grown into a beautiful, sweet, smart, caring, compassionate tween...who still has the personality to match her nickname. The same little girl who enjoys reading 'Ramona the Pest', playing Barbie's with her sister and loves the color purple is the same child who loves softball, thinks nothing of jumping right in on a game of tackle football with her brothers and rides her bike no-handed.

I am so grateful God led us to her. I'm thankful we followed our hearts, took our time and were patient. I'm thankful we didn't put too much stock into her medical sheet which indicated she had 'issues.' (She's completely healthy.) And I'm thrilled to pieces she let us into her world. I am so proud to call Anya my daughter. And there is no better sound in the world than when she calls me, 'Mama.'

So Happy Birthday Punk! I pray God will grant you even more grace, beauty and wisdom in the next nine years, that your life will be full of the love of good, Godly friends and family and that you will grow up to be all that He has created you to be!

All my love,
Mama

leaps and bounds

2011-11-03T06:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know that it's so much that I've dreaded this day. I just knew when it arrived I would find myself torn between embracing the joy and mourning the loss of a childhood gone too quickly.

Alek is now taller than me.

I know, I know...you're thinking 'Seriously? All this drama for that?!" And I agree.

Who doesn't want their son to grow up to be a tall, strong, handsome man? Seriously?! And he is quickly doing that.

But at the same time I feel like we just brought him home from Russia yesterday...how am I supposed to even begin thinking about releasing him out in to the big, bad world?

Those are questions to be answered another day. For now I'm going to concentrate on the joy.

And for me the joy comes in getting to know the man he is all-too-quickly becoming. I had a glimpse of it the other day...and while it didn't surprise me, it made me so thankful, once again, that God chose to give Alek to Shad and I through the blessing of adoption.

Alek and his friends were hanging out last Friday when the talk turned to things of a spiritual nature. One of the friends is a professed athiest (although how he could truly be one at the age of 13 is beyond me.) The boys, all from strong Christian families tried talking to the young man, making a case for God - trying to share with him their faith and just what He means to them.

By the time we picked Alek up an hour later, he was upset. He began telling us about the conversation and about how worried he was for his friend. Worried about his future...and where this boys' choices are taking him.

I was amazed at the glimpse I had of man I think Alek is starting to become. A man of absolute conviction with a heart of compassion for those he knows are heading down the wrong path. And it did this mama's heart good. A LOT of good. Especially when I think about the little boy we brought home more than 12 years ago. A little 14-month-old tike who didn't want to be held, or rocked, or read to, or comforted. He couldn't stand touch and wanted only the basics from me - food...lots and lots of food (that part hasn't changed) and a tippy cup full of milk at all times.

He really felt like he could do without all the cuddling, rocking and overall mothering...and had absolutely no feelings for anyone around him. Shad and I didn't matter...the dogs didn't matter. All that mattered was food and milk - the basics - because he hadn't had much of those basics in all of his 14 months. The orphanage scars weren't just the emotional ones. There were physical ones as well. Alek was scrawny...malnourished, really. With a mild case of rickets and no meat on his bones.

In a matter of months we had fixed the physical issues. His constant hunger helped him gain five pounds and grow two inches in six weeks. The constant milk and extra Vitamin D erased the signs of rickets...and his skin lost the pale, sickly color and took on a healthier glow.

But the emotional scars were harder to erase. Over the next two years, Alek and I worked to break down that barrier. He slowly started letting me rock him, he began letting me comfort him if he was hurt, he would occasionally run up to me for no reason and quickly give me a peck on the cheek...and he'd wait patiently for his dinner - but he still ate A LOT.

Over the last 12 years I have watched my hurt little guy grow into a tall, handsome young man with a heart for those in need and an absolute conviction of right and wrong.

Not that he always chooses right. Alek is far from perfect. There are days I want to string him up by his toes. The adolescent snarkiness is there. He loses patience with his brother and sisters...and can be pretty moody at times.

But most of the time, the real Alek comes through. The kid with a big heart and an even bigger smile.

The boy who will, every once in awhile, still walk up to me and for no reason in particular, give me a quick peck on the cheek. ;)

finding maddie

2011-11-02T10:41:00.000-07:00

Ellie - AKA Maddie and originally named Nastya
plays Hide and Seek on the orphanage playground. :)

Let's start off National Adoption Month with a look back at our youngest daughter's adoption journey.

The journey was a long and difficult one to say the least. We had so many hurdles and roadblocks, but God was faithful...even when we weren't. He eventually and miraculously lead us to our little girl...in HIS time. This video is full of images of our journey to Ukraine to find Maddie and bring her home.

If you would like to read Maddie's story I suggest you visit our adoption blog, 'Finding Maddie' and start with this post. I called the blog 'Finding Maddie' because while we hadn't met her yet, I just knew she would be a 'Maddie.' Shad wasn't convinced and when it came to naming her we eventually agreed on something else, but I still find myself calling her Maddie sometimes when I've had a long day. She just laughs and looks at me like I've lost my mind. ;)

Enjoy! ;)

many, many reasons

2011-11-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

My four very handsome, beautiful, smart,
funny, generous, kind-hearted, amazing reasons
for celebrating National Adoption Month.

Is it really November? Really?!

I know it's cliche, but honestly I have no idea where this year went to. It seems like just yesterday we were cuddled up on the couch watching the snow fall and wondering if the kids would have school the next day...

Oh wait! That WAS yesterday. ;)

Winter has come a bit early to the Cowboy State. We've had four storms already...at this rate it is going to be a long winter indeed.

But enough of the weather. That's not why I'm writing. Today marks the beginning of National Adoption Month and anyone who has read this blog, heard me speak or known us for any length of time at all knows our family has been blessed by adoption.

Throughout the month of November I will share what God has put on my heart about adoption. I'll be giving much-needed updates, sharing our story, taking a look at the Bible's perspective of adoption and hopefully moving a few of you to take a closer look at what you can do to help these children find their forever families.

Happy National Adoption Month! :)

a changed heart

2011-10-06T10:12:00.000-07:00

A quick shout-out this morning to Maddie.
Last week, while I was in Missouri, my baby girl earned an award that none of her big brothers or sister has ever brought home.
She was named a Super Student for the month of September...for the character of 'Respect.'
While it may sound like your run of the mill award for most elementary kids...for us it is a HUGE deal. Especially when you realize less than four years ago, this little munchkin was living life in an orphanage in eastern Europe.

Let's just say it wasn't a bastion for character development.
Life was tough. In order to survive you had to be meaner than the next guy. There was a pecking order and if you had any kind of weakness they were exploited by the other kids. Since Maddie was born without ears and had a severe hearing loss, she was at a disadvantage...and the other kids knew it.
When we first met her, Maddie had learned what it took to survive. She saw every child around her as a potential enemy - a rival for attention, food, toys, clothing, toothpaste...anything. We had a clear demonstration of it within our first few visits. Still, deep down we saw a softer spirit...something undefinable...we just knew in our hearts that everything would be fine.
After we brought her home and she literally wanted nothing to do with the kids for the first few days. It took about six months before she dropped her guard and really started enjoying having siblings.
Today Maddie is a compassionate, loving, generous child...one that looks for the good in people, is in tune with other's feelings and readily shares without prompting.
I want to be absolutely clear here...this turnaround has NOTHING to do with Shad and I and the way we raise this blessing.
It is ALL. GOD. All of it.
Somehow in the midst of her first 47 months, our Heavenly Father reached down, touched her heart and protected her from the attachment damage that some kids go through. And He's healed her hardened heart.
We were just obedient in listening to the voice that told us our family wasn't complete and that we would find our little girl in Ukraine.
In return for that obedience, we received the most amazing gift - Maddie.
Way to go, sweetheart! Daddy and I are so proud of you! :)

howdy partner!

2011-09-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome to Grab Your Lasso! Population - 30,000...more or less. We actually pulled into town more than two months ago, but as you can imagine, life has been nuts. Unloading the truck, getting settled, the kids starting school...there was so much to tell.

Unfortunately, the move also took its toll on our electronic equipment. Not even a week after we unpacked and starting getting settled, my trusty little laptop died a terrible death.

Perhaps its the higher elevation, cooler, drier weather or divine intervention. Whatever it was, I blew through two computers in two months...first the laptop and a-brand-spanking-new-replacement a fancy desktop.

Both were dead. Completely. Which left me arguing with Dell to send me a replacement. It took us two weeks, two repairmen sent by Dell and a lot of arguing to convince them. Then Hurricane Irene delayed delivery even more. By the time the new computer arrived, I was starting to wonder if God really was trying to tell me something. ;)

In the meantime, I was running CrossRiver Media off of Shad's little notebook. Notebooks are cute and all, but they're not very practical for typing up billing statements or updating client blogs. More often than not my sentences end up looking like, 'thsi andd thn I habve to go bsck and retyep teverything."

So you can see why I haven't blogged much lately. Anyway...

Since the move there have been big changes in our household. Besides the obvious location change, Alek started school at a massive junior high...which at first caused me a serious amount of angst and reconsideration of the whole 'homeschooling' decision. In fact, all the the kids school experiences have been a mixed bag so far. There has been more than one time I've wished (and secretly prayed) that Shad would change his mind and let me bring the kids home.

But over time, I've come to grips with the situation and am starting to seem some good things come out of it. Alek's faith is growing and becoming his own...Anya is learning that she really does have the ability to do her math - even if it doesn't seem like it...Nick is playing football with some big kids on the playground and holding his own. He's also gaining the confidence to ask them about their faith...which is awesome to see!

Maddie...aahhh...Maddie. Maddie is doing well. I am glad she is getting all of the new services...but there is something about her new teacher that I'm not quite clicking with. I have NO idea what it is. She seems to like Maddie well enough, but her room isn't welcoming...she doesn't seem to be overly creative...and then there's the horrible-no-good-very-bad-dreaded-family-assignment. We've already had one talk about it. I don't think she gets it...although she says she does. We shall see.

In the meantime, Maddie started basketball practice last week. Yes...I'm that kind of mom. Both girls are enrolled in basketball...and loving it. In fact, Maddie tears up when she finds out it is not her day to have basketball practice. I'm not sure what she loves more...basketball or school. It's a toss-up.

She would gladly wear her hair in a ponytail and don her warmup pants and basketball jersey to school every day if allowed - it may just be her version of utopia. She's turning into a bit of a tom-boy...although when Shad accuses her of that, she says, 'No. I no a tom-GIRL...I a cow-GIRL.'

She is absolutely fascinated with horses and convinced we need to get her one. I don't know where she thinks we'll put it, and is NOT satisfied with just visiting the horses at Daddy's work. I am convinced she's going to start wearing wranglers and boots soon and will probably eventually marry a cowboy on horseback. At least she's living in the right place.

Me? Well, I'm doing pretty well. I'm feeling a bit like a chauffer right now. Between carting the kids back and forth to school, sporting events and church activities, I'm working on getting the business back up and on its feet. The lack of serious computer time took its toll.

Hopefully, all of that will quickly change.

i heart beth moore...and my husband

2011-09-12T10:46:00.000-07:00

I am a big Beth Moore fan.

I read her blog…take her Bible studies…I’ve even seen her in person a time or two. I kinda like her stuff. She digs deep into Bible study, scratching more than just the surface, giving her readers serious meat in their study.

So when I found out a local church was hosting one of Beth's simulcasts, I jumped at the chance. I could just imagine having a day to myself, making a bunch of new friends, singing with Travis Cottrell and finding the renewal my dry soul needed.

There was just one problem…our budget.

While the $20 ticket may not seem expensive, the move to Wyoming drained the savings account. Between the moving van, gas, housing deposit and eating out for a week, there was nothing left.

Nothing. Unless I wanted to jip my kids out of fruit for their school lunches, I would have to stay home.

Then, one afternoon, Shad walked down the stairs and handed me a little white piece of paper.

It was a Beth Moore ticket.

My hero.

As I hugged him, he told me the story of how he had gone back to the church early that morning, looked up the email address on the poster, wrote the woman and arranged to meet her at lunch to buy the ticket. All for me.

Sure, it was fun getting to see Beth Moore again...even if it was via an internet feed. But I think even better was witnessing yet again, how much this man truly does love me.

while they're camping...

2011-09-04T10:46:00.000-07:00

I have, perhaps, the perfect husband. If not perfect...nearly so.

Guess what he did for me this afternoon? He took the kids camping...by HIMSELF.

See? I told you he was awesome.

I mentioned it on Facebook this afternoon, expecting oohs and aaahs...but I didn't expect the phone calls.

'Seriously,' one of them said. 'What did you have to promise this man?'

Nothing. Not a thing. I promise. He just decided he wanted to go camping and asked if I wanted to go along. Since I'm months behind on work, thanks to the computer debacle from the last two weeks, I hesitated. That's when he said he offered to take the kids by himself.

You could have blown me over with a feather. It has to be the best belated birthday present EVER.

So here I am, in a VERY quiet house, listening to blogtalkradio and working on projects that should have been completed months ago.

One of those projects is my ministry. I've felt a tug on my heart for a long time - as if God were reaching down, trying to get my attention and asking me to use the gifts he has given me for His glory.

About a year ago, I finally decided to listen. I left my job at the newspaper, came home, started CrossRiver and thought I was being obedient. After all, I was helping Christian authors and speakers build their ministries. That's good, right?

Evidentally, not good enough. He didn't let up. He dropped little hints here...not so subtle nudges there...and downright knocked me upside the head everywhere else.

Last spring I finally gave in and agreed to speak at a conference at my church. Even though I was terrified...I did it. And surprisingly enough, I LOVED it! :)

Now, I'm about to do it again. The people at Christian Woman's Soul asked me to speak at their fall event in October. That's when I decided it was time. I needed to take this thing seriously and start getting my online presence set up. So this weekend, I've worked on website design, set up a twitter account, signed up for a facebook account and even designed some print marketing materials. That way when I meet the women on Oct. 2, I'll have something to show them.

So...here's where you come in. Could you do me a favor? After you're done reading this blog, could you sign up to 'follow' it...then head over to Facebook and like my page and then follow me on Twitter?

It would be a big help...and prove to me, yet again, what I already know - besides my family, you all are my biggest support group.

And I couldn't do this without you! :)

Wagons Ho! (almost)

2011-07-08T13:05:00.000-07:00

T-minus eight days until we pack up the Conestoga and head west and we've barely begun to pack.
I'm not a mover. It's not so much the physical act of putting stuff in boxes and loading it on a truck - although its not my most favorite thing to do.
It's the absolute mayhem for the month before and after. Stuff gets lost...the house is trashed...the kids run wild.
BUT...

((CLICK TITLE FOR MORE))

All the chaos means we're one step closer to our new normal...and it means Shad is coming home.
For those of you who aren't connected to me via Facebook, I apologize for keeping you in the dark. Shad has been my excuse for not writing for the last two months. Without him here, I've been single-parenting four kids for the last eight weeks.
Eight weeks is a long time when you don't have back-up.
Shad headed out to Wyoming at end of May to start his new job. We sent him off on that plane with no clue as to when he would return...or when we would see him again. The nightly phone calls and weekly Skype sessions with the kids have helped, but honestly the last 60 days have been trying.
Up until he left, I would have said that my kids really don't have abandonment issues. They are great kids who seem to have it all under control. Even Ellie's issues seem relatively minor and have mostly disappeared.
Then Shad left - and everything broke loose.
I had four kids on my hands with obvious signs of fears of abandonment.
Alek's teenage angst ramped up to a new level...one never seen before. He also HAD to have a plan for every moment of every day. If we didn't have a plan, he could barely function. Even if it was just a plan to stay home and be quiet for the day, he had to know about it...days in advance. It drove me nuts.
Anya exhibited in other ways. She would often walk up to me while I was working (from home) and just stare at me. If I asked her what she needed she would mumble 'nothing' and quietly walk away.
Perhaps the most heart-breaking is Nick. A few weeks into the thing I thought he was handling things the best. He was sad Dad was gone, but he wasn't showing any other symptoms at all. I was pretty proud of my little guy. He was handling everything so beautifully.
And then I let him go out with his friend. His buddy invited him to go to a class held by a local nature observatory to learn about and hunt crayfish. Nick being a total boy who loves to hunt for frogs, bugs and anything else slimy, was excited...so I let him go. Thirty minutes into a drive to the class, my friend called and said she thought Nick needed a pep-talk. He got on the phone sobbing. He didn't want to be away from me, he said. He missed me. This is a boy who had NEVER done anything like this before.
But Maddie, by far, was the worst. She reverted back to ALL of the post-orphanage behavior she had three years ago - stealing food, bossing kids, lying, having nightmares and overstimulating at the drop of a hat.
I had a lovely experience a few weeks ago (insert sarcasm here). I was at a meeting with several of my clients (mistake no 1), with Maddie (mistake no 2), and I forgot to give her the ADHD meds (mistake no 3). She did reasonably well throughout the meeting even without her meds and so I was patting myself on the back and getting way too comfortable for my own good when I stepped outside of the group to talk with a client more privately (mistake no 4). I came back into the group and found Ellie and one of my clients talking.
'You're daughter is so sweet," she said. "She walked right up to me, shook my hand, said it was nice to meet me and then gave me the biggest hug."
I turned around and looked at Ellie who promptlye LIED to me...in front of my client.
I thought we were doing SO much better with the 'no hugging anyone but the parents' rule. I can't remember the last time this has been an issue. But with Shad in Wyoming, it seemed all bets were off!
I was at my rope's end. I went home that night, got the kids ready for bed, tucked them in and promptly went downstairs where I broke down in tears.
'I can't do it. I just can't,' I told my heavenly Father. 'You know that thing where you promise to not give us more than we can handle? That's bunk!'
As if to prove my point, I grabbed my Bible and looked up the verse. And that's when it hit me. In I Corinthians, Paul is talking about temptations. God won't allow the temptations in my life to be more than I can stand.
He didn't say anything about everyday stress. I need situations in my life that are more than I can deal with on my own...so I will allow God to work.
This pastor says it so beautifully...

It does not imply that God won't let you be stressed beyond what you can bear.
Or challenged beyond your ability.
Or pushed beyond your threshold.
In reality, God gives you more than you can bear all the time. On purpose. It's only when you can't bear the load that the strength of Christ kicks in...and He becomes everything you need and more.

Wow, that's tough to hear. But oh, so very true.
How many times in my life have I refused to hand things over to him and instead have tried to handle it on my own, only to finally reach a breaking point? And how many times has He come through for me?
Too many to count. I finally decided to hand this one over too.
You know...over the course of the next few days the kids settled down and life turned to a new kind of normal. Alek stopped asking a million questions, Anya stopped stalking me, Nick went over to a friends house and didn't look back and even Maddie stopped swiping food, being so bossy and generally became more pleasant to be around.
And I didn't have any more meltdowns.
Sure these two months have been tough and I will absolutely NEVER willingly do it again, but we've survived and I could dare to say maybe even thrived.
I know one thing for sure - we have missed Shad. These kids are planning a homecoming like none other.
And as soon as we unpack that Conestoga, I'm planning on an evening out, sans kids.
I think we all can use a little break. ;)

just like you

2011-05-15T20:11:00.000-07:00

Today I had one of the most difficult moments of my 12-year mommy career.
This afternoon Maddie told me she doesn't want to wear her hearing aid anymore...she wants real ears, 'just like you.'
Sigh.
Later, when I told Shad about our talk, he said it so simply, 'We knew this day would come sooner or later. I just didn't think it would be this soon.'
Yeah. Me either.
The simple fact is, I wasn't prepared. Oh, I've thought about what I would say to Maddie about her ears when the time came - about how God made her special...that he had something amazing planned for her life and how not everyone gets to be as special as she is.
But when I started to say those words, it just didn't seem like enough.

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The truth is Maddie is different...and there's nothing I can do to change that.
When Nick says he doesn't like his glasses...or Anya complains about her height...and Alek wishes he didn't need braces, I just explain that a ton of other kids have the same issues. And while it may seem like a big deal right now, there will be a day when it will either be fixed, or it won't be so important anymore.
I can't say the same thing for Maddie.
My precious baby girl's differences go so much deeper than glasses, height or braces. They're rooted in other people's choices - choices that left a permanent mark on my child's life. And while Maddie IS an incredible kid with an amazing future. And I KNOW God has something amazing planned for her life - you can't meet this child and not be absolutely convinced of that. For this one afternoon, I think what Maddie needed more than anything was to mourn...and she needed me to comfort.
So she climbed up into my lap, laid her head on my chest and let her crocodile tears fall. And I rocked her...and cried right along with her.
When we were done, we wiped away our tears and talked about how God made her special. He gave her the ability to read people's lips from across the room...not everyone can do that. And she has that cool microphone at school that lets her hear her teacher no matter where she is - kinda like Superman. And she knows sign language which means she can talk without saying a word. Pretty impressive if you ask me.
She smiled...then giggled...and gave me a big hug before jumping off my lap and running upstairs to play.
And I sat back and sighed.
She really IS an incredible kid.

whaaaaaaat's up?

2011-05-09T08:20:00.000-07:00

Forgive me bloggers, for I have sinned...

It's been 60 days since my last post and I've really been holding out on you. (I had typed 43, but then I waited another 17 days to post this...boy, this is bad!)

Forgiven?

Good. Let's get started. Before you lose all hope in my spiritual well-being, let's just say that's one of the things that has kept me busy over the last few months.

My business is off and running...at break neck speed. The only problem is keeping up with it. ;) That's a good thing, really. I just can't seem to find the time to do the other things I enjoy in life. But...good news! :) One of my goals for the coming days, weeks and months is to do a better job of keeping up with this blog. I need the therapy. You need the reading material. It's a win-win. ;)
I'm so serious about this, that I'm actually going to purchase my own URL. I haven't decided what to name it yet, but when I do I'll make sure to post it here so you can update your links. ;)
One of the reasons I want to get this blog back up and running relates to my newest venture.

((CLICK TITLE FOR MORE))

a gig and my cool factor

Besides CrossRiver, I have this brand new thing where I go and speak to women about really spiritual stuff...and I try to make it sound like I know what I'm talking about. The thing is...I'm learning more just by preparing to talk, than I could ever share with these ladies in an hour.

But I'm giving it a good college try.

My first 'gig' was last month.

Actually, it's more of an 'event' but I'm calling it a 'gig' to raise my cool factor a bit.

(Hmmm... Does saying, 'raising my cool factor,' kind of ruin the effect? May be.)

Anyway...I spoke to about 50 women...and I was scared to death.

Not of the women. Just the speaking.

The women were fine...nice even. But I was so worried about tripping over my own two feet or possibly tripping over my tongue and saying a 'bad' word in God's house. My nightmare scenario involved getting up in front of everyone and realizing I had a huge stripe of magic marker running across the front of my shirt (Having little girls who love to color will do that to you.)
Prevention involved shopping for a whole new outfit...including shoes. ;)

Alek concentrating on his next pitch.

let's celebrate

I am now officially the parent of a teenager.
Alek turned 13 on Saturday.
I have to admit it, there are days when I never thought this day would arrive. And now that it has, I'm a bit flummoxed.
I am so incredibly proud of my Alek. He has grown into a young man with character. He's smart, funny, charming and oh, so handsome. He's doing great in school, has tons of friends and, thankfully, still thinks hanging out with his family isn't such a bad thing.
But it also means he's growing up...and for me, it's been way too quickly. I've had tons of encouraging comments over the last few days expounding the benefits of teenagers - how they're so much fun and if you can survive the horrid middle school years, you'll come out on the other side just fine.
I really don't doubt that for a minute, I'm just a touch saddened that I'm having to let go of my 'little' Alek...even though I am really enjoying my growing-up Alek. ;)
The good news is I'm pretty sure I'm not the only parent to have gone through this...so I'll be fine.

u-turn ahead

So, here's the thing. I really wasn't lying when I said I was holding out on you. Some of you already know this...especially if you're one of my bloggy turned Facebook friends. Or, if you happen to have the password to my password protected blog...or if you happen to live in the Emerald City...or if I happen to have used to have worked with you, but now don't but still sorta do and from time to time we see each other in the grocery store...

Hmmm...come to think of it, there's not too many people in the world who don't know this by now, which makes this even worse. If you're one of those people completely in the dark, I apologize. I really hadn't mean to hold out on you. It just happened. Kind of like one of those icky jr. high things where your hand accidently touched the guy behind you on the bus and he misunderstands and announces to all his buddies that you two are 'going out,'...and you don't find even remotely attractive.

Great mental picture, huh? Wow. I should write more often.

Anyway...Drumroll, please...

We're moving back to Grab-Your-Lasso.

(Insert chirping cricket here.)

I’m not kidding.

Shad has the opportunity to buy a practice there. He’s jumping at the opportunity…and he’s taking us with him.

It’s weird. I ’like’ the idea, but I’m nervous…about a lot of things. After a rocky start, we grew to love our time in Grab-Your-Lasso. The kids had made friends, so had I…and the services there for Maddie were unreal. If we would have stayed, I would dare to say she may have been able to go to first grade this year instead of spending a second year hanging out in Kindergarten.

With that being said though, there are a ton of plusses here in the Emerald City. The school is small…and THAT alone is worth everything to me. My kids have all kinds of opportunities…and I don’t have to worry about them getting lost in the crowd. They can play sports to their hearts content. I don’t have to worry about their teachers filling their minds with liberal propoganda behind my back – many of them attend our church or are friends’ of ours… I LOVE it that we really KNOW our kids’ teachers.

And really, that is what it all boils down to for me. Sure I’ll miss our friends and I’ll miss a good old-fashioned Kansas thunderstorm, but what I’ll really miss is the comfort in knowing that my kids are getting a good, quality education – without all of the outside negative influences we have to worry about elsewhere.

But I’m choosing to look at the positives here. We’re heading back to some beautiful country. Shad will soon be his own boss (after a few years). He won’t have to be on-call anymore and no more weekends – what’s not to love about THAT?!
We'll be waking up every morning to the view of a beautiful mountain range with some amazing hiking trails just a stone's-throw away. The grandparents will be able to see music programs, baseball games and we can go down for Sunday dinner.

And chances are, I’ll have some new blogging material on my hands soon. Something other than working my fingers to the bone in getting my new business up and running. Some new adventures for our clan. So…grab your ten-gallon, tie on that bandana and call your little doggies…we’ll be heading out soon.

Well... WE won't. Shad will. He's leaving in a few weeks to start the job. The kids and I, on the other hand, will stay behind to sort junk, mow the lawn, show the house and pack up.

Can you tell I'm thrilled?

Shad's going to get all the benefits of Grab-Your-Lasso living in the summer...while we sweat out one last Kansas summer.

Sigh.

Anyway...grab your hat...it's time you dusted it off. But do it quick! If you leave it setting around I'm liable to either a) pack it or b) throw it away.

We've got work to do.

you asked for it...

2011-03-10T07:17:00.000-08:00

Some of you asked where I got such a great deal on Maddie's adoption book, so I thought I would let you in on my little secret.

((I get emails sent to my inbox - said in loud whisper))

Actually, there's no trick to it at all. I just signed up for their service and they send out AMAZING deals, like the one I received in my inbox this morning.

((CLICK ON TITLE FOR MORE))

I think this is pretty much the same offer I took advantage of back in January. So I'm about to do it again. This time I think I'll do Alek's book...seeing as how he's been here the longest and has next to nothing to show for an adoption book. The problem is he was adopted waaaaaay back when all of the pictures we were taking were on 35 mm film. No digital stuff back in those days. I'm not sure how I'm going to get everything scanned in time, but I'm going to give it the old college try.

If you want to take advantage of the deal just click on the picture. It should take you to their website. The coupon is: FREEPAGES

Hurry! The offer expires March 14th.

If anyone needs me...I'll be tied to my computer for the next week, trying to bang this thing out! :)

real people...real stories

2011-02-16T07:01:00.000-08:00

My friend, Rachel just returned from a trip to Ukraine where she registered kids for a hosting program. While there she found herself drawn to the older kids, the ones who will soon be released from the orphanage at the age of 16 and left on their own. She would love to help them find their forever families. I encourage you to read her post...let the kids speak to you. Then consider what you can do to help these children realize their dreams.

_______________________________________________

I think the thing that surprised me most about this trip was that the kids that tugged my heart the most were teenagers, and so many of them boys! Their kind and tender hearts, somehow miraculously preserved through their lives' hardships, shone through in our interviews and interaction time. Their hugs and their smiles and their eagerness for affection and interaction were so genuine. I never saw that coming in a million years - I thought it was the little ones I'd gravitate to. But, my heart ached for these teens to have the chance to stay kids for just a few years longer.

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There are a handful of kids whose cases are most urgent: these are the ones that are turning 16 before the host program starts this summer. If by some miracle, a family already called to adoption and paper/immigration ready sees their story and acts quickly to file an I-600, sight unseen before their birthday, there is still hope for these kids to experience a family. Alternately, if these kids are not matched with adoption ready families immediately, they will still be available for summer hosting as "host only" kids. Having those 5 weeks to experience American life and the love of a family (many of which keep in touch long-term with their host-only kids) would be an adventure of a lifetime for them and a real confidence booster, before they are turned out into adulthood.

Here are their stories (re-posted from LeAnn's FB page, with some of my own comments added in italics - and more bios coming in the near future...):

"His is the most urgent... Birthday 2/25 he will be 16. His name is Vladimir L. and he is in L. Ukraine. (I can supply region details to those interested, but blanking out here to protect his identity.) He went to a foster family where he felt it was his chance but after a year he was brought back by system as it was realized the foster dad had him sleeping on a sofa and had bought nothing for him. (Nor sent him to school, fed or clothed him...he was only fostering him for the money.) He has really low self esteem now (because he thought that was his big chance...) and is a gentle spirit but oh how he needs affirmation. He is the soccer team goalie, would like to learn accordion, he is a painter and dreams to become a famous painter someday. Loves to read in school especially foreign Lit. Shy but not too shy. If he had money for a present, he would buy a painting for his director for her birthday or he would buy supplies to make a painting for her. He has no siblings and no relatives. 8th grade now. Director especially says he is a great boy. He admitted he knows no English but wants to learn and promises to study!" (I cannot find a picture of this boy, amongst my 900! But I remember him clearly - he was the first to start to soften my heart towards the teen boys. I did not interview him, but watched as LeAnn did, from across the hall. He was tall and thin and sat nervously with his shoulders hunched during the interview. He was soft-spoken, but shyly eager and made good eye-contact. His hair was cropped short and slicked down, except for a little unruly shock that stood up in the back, and the mother in me wanted to reach out and smooth it down for him, and reassure him.)

"Next urgent is Julia who is from xxxxxx (again, can supply details to interested parties) orphanage in Ukraine.

Her birthday is 3/20 when she will be 16. She sings and dances and also speaks some German. (They are taught German at this orphanage in school.) She wants to train to be a professional singer and would love to see a Broadway show. She would really like to learn English and committed to self study online between now and when she comes to the USA to be more prepared. We explained about modesty in our host families with dress as compared to E Europe and she said that was not a problem as she dresses modestly already. She has two little brothers w/mom and new husband. Mom chose husband over her. Great eye contact, plays basket ball, dances Ukraine traditional on team. Very sweet, open, friendly, positive thinking girl w/ beauty from within that shows on her face!"

"Next is Anastasia (Nastia) who is from a new orphanage where we met the most awesome group of last chance 15 year olds ever!

(Nastia - left - with a classmate and friend.)

Her birthday is 5/15 and she will be 16. No siblings and has been in the orphanage for 6 years. She is also behind in school in 6th grade and needs a patient mom who can probably homeschool her through gaps to catch up. She has patience of a saint as she was our last interview and literally waited hours before her turn. Her friends would describe her as a great athlete and good in any sport. She is the ping pong champ in an orphanage full of older teen boys! Freckled face and light brown hair with hazel/gray eyes. She is somewhat shy but open to us and very interested in the program and coming to America. Of course, her favorite subject is PE but she also likes math and Literature. Loves dogs and is responsible for orphanage dog who has a litter of pups. Likes to draw and has lots of friends but no 1 best friend. Other awesome kids said everyone loves her and claims her as their friend. Enjoys especially small children and said she understood family rules would be different and knows she would need to follow them. Very calm and quiet at first, but once we got her going, she opened right up and shared easily."

"Next is GQ super model young man, Rostik! (He goes by Raj)

(Rostik - right - with a classmate and friend, Zhenya 14 - also about to age out of the orphanage, as he's in 9th grade, the highest grade offered at the boarding schools/Internats in this region.)

He is 15 and his birthday is 5/31. He is actually "gypsy" descent so he is clueless as to his future or current ability to be a model! In his country there is great prejudice against people of gypsy culture with darker features and olive skin. He learned about weight lifting at a summer camp and really enjoys staying in shape now but there is no equipment at the orphanage. He is an excellent soccer player and wants to play on a competition/city team. As for a future trade, he hasn't decided but shared he has 2 options: metal cutting in a factory or welding, but there are no jobs. (He was very thoughtful about his interview answers.) Would like any kind of family but especially would like to have a brother around his age. Very interested in cars and especially liked idea that kids in America can drive at 16 as its 18 in Ukraine. He is already 5'7-5'9 and will probably have more growing to do. He was one of the best huggers we met there and he has a smile that melts a mom's heart. Loves horses and would like to learn to ride; also likes all dogs! He has been in this orphanage 6 years and is in 9th grade so he is done in a few more months and will be on his own. Very kind, appropriately affectionate, smart, happy and hung out most of the day with team member Darren, our NE coordinator."

"Next is Genady who is 15 and birthday is 6/1 when he turns 16. (Same orphanage and class as Rostik, and this is the orphanage where all the boys washed out very, very dirty van in 20 degree weather til it sparkled.)

(Genady - right - and Ivan/Vanya - left. Vanya also turns 16 in June - I will post his bio as soon as I get it from LeAnn - another GREAT kid.)

He is small for his age and is probably 5'2" or 5'3". Brown hair, brown eyes and possibly Armenian or Georgian descent which gives him olive skin and darker eyes. He loves all sports, especially Basketball with dreams to attend a pro-basketball game and attend a basketball camp. Favorite subjects in school are PE and chemistry. He was quiet yet very friendly, loves ALL animals and was helpful and very polite to our team. When asked what he would do if he had 3 wishes, his first was "to be adopted", 2nd to be a basketball star and 3rd to have a happy family. When we asked what kind of family, he said one with other children if possible. When asked what we could share with a potential family that is unique about him, he floored us with his..."tell them I am kind and believe in God. I pray 3 times a day for Him to find me a family." When we explained we would also be praying for him, he said thank you and expressed his gratitude. He wears a black leather cross necklace that he bought and he never takes it off."

PLEASE feel free to re-post and share any of this information and spread the word about these great kids!!! Please pray for these kids as well. More bios coming...

feet warmers

2011-02-11T11:49:00.000-08:00

in print...finally

2011-02-08T21:01:00.000-08:00

After three years of half-ditch efforts, commitment phobia and downright procrastination, today I finally did it.

I finally finished Maddie's adoption book. ;)

It's a book that has been 1460 days in the making, but it is finally complete. Whew.

It's not a book so much as a narrated picture album. I took the blog posts from Finding Maddie and combined it with the photos we took of our journey and came up with a 100 page masterpiece - or at least you would think it was a work of art with as much work as went into it. ;)

I have to admit, I'm relieved. I wanted to get this done much sooner, but I hemmed and I hawed about which company was best to use and which one would give me the best deal. These things are EXPENSIVE! And I knew to have it the way I really wanted it, it needed to be all or nothing.

So I waited. And my patience (gasp) paid off. A few days ago I stumbled on coupon code that allowed me to get a 100 page book from My Publisher for only $35. I saved more than 80% of the cost.

Awesome. I knew this couponing thing would come in handy some day.

The book is being printed right now and should be delivered sometime next week. I'll be sure to take a pic of it when it comes in and give you Maddie's full review. ;)

the phone call and puppy management 101

2011-02-07T07:08:00.000-08:00

At 8:15 this morning I got a phone call.

"Tami...this is Mrs. B," the hurried voice on the other end whispers. "Ummm...Maddie is really loud and rowdy this morning. Did she get her medicine?"

Ugh. I forgot. Again.

I am ALWAYS forgetting to give her and Nick their medicine. It happens at least once every couple of weeks. I don't know what it is about the routine that I haven't quite mastered...but I don't have it down. And I've tried everything. The thing is, truthfully, I'm not great at remembering to take medicine myself. Even if I'm at death's door, I forget. It's as simple as that. I've told Shad I don't know how many times that when we're older and I start having to take medicine on a regular basis - I'll be dead in six months.

It's just the way I'm wired.
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So, I'm open to any ideas you may have. I've tried writing it down on a sticky note and putting it somewhere I'll find it the next day - but I forget to write the note in the first place.

I've tried making it the same time every morning - usually while they're eating breakfast, but most of the time they're not at the breakfast table together and I am usually trying to squeeze in a shower while they're getting ready.

I've tried sticking the medicine on the kitchen table, hoping it will jog one of our memories'. Nope.

So...what other ideas do you have out there?

Usually, Maddie will remind me herself. I think she likes the way the medicine makes her feel - more in control, less likely to get in trouble.

Tucker, the ornery

And I think I usually take my cues from the way she's behaving, but this morning evidentally I was complete clueless to the neon sign above her head.

Thankfully, they'll give her the dose at school today. Nick will probably go without until lunch. He just doesn't need it as much as she does. In fact, I'm going to spend some time this summer experimenting with diet changes to see if I can find another way to manage his ADD. He really is quite manageable at home...he just needs something to help him focus at school. If I can find that something that will help him this summer, we may see if we can get him off the meds altogether.

Now if they would just come up with some ADHD medication for puppies. Last summer we brought home an adorable pup named Tucker. He is a sweetheart, really he is...but he is also an absolute bundle of energy, which is driving this old lady and our other dog, Roscoe, nuts.

During the day, while I am trying to work, I keep him on the back porch where he won't bother us..and where, if he happens to have an accident it is a lot easier to clean up.

Today I decided that since he's doing pretty well with the potty training, it really is time that he learn to live with the rest of us. So this morning I let him loose.

He's been out an hour...he hasn't stopped running. Seriously.

I'm about ready to call his 'vet' to see if there's something I can slip in his water bowl to get him to settle down.

I tried getting a picture of Tuck, but as you can see, he wouldn't settle down long enough for me to get a shot in.

I have a feeling this is going to be a long day.

tiny dancer

2011-02-05T19:20:00.000-08:00

From the first day we brought Maddie home, we've known she loves to dance.

I just don't think we knew how much. ;)

Our local high school dance team held a dance clinic today and invited all the elementary girls to attend. Maddie and Anya begged...relentlessly...to let them go even though we had a weekend PACKED with activities. The last thing I wanted to do was to add another one to our schedule, but how could I say no to those little faces?

We trudged over to the gym this afternoon and within the first 10 minutes, I knew it was going to be so worth the inconvenience. This is just a warm-up dance, but as you can tell, she really enjoyed getting warmed up! :)

they're back in schoooooool....

2011-02-04T07:36:00.000-08:00

Looks cold, huh?

This morning at precisely 7:46 a.m., I dropped my precious, drowsy, slightly-grumpy children off at their respective schools, watched from the nice, warm Blue Mama as they trudged in the door and then raced home (as quickly as snow and ice would allow), ran in, slammed the door, dove for the couch and just drank in the quiet.

Aaaaaaah!

Silence is, indeed, golden.

Let's be honest here ladies (and gents - if there really are any of you out there)...

They were going batty...

They were at each others' throats...

They were driving me nuts...

THERE. IS. A. REASON. WHY. I. DON'T. HOMESCHOOL. here people!

Well, there's 'a reason' and there's 'the reason,' but that's for a whole different post. Let's just suffice it to say the children are better off at school where they have a teacher who has the patience to actually teach them stuff.

I. DON'T.

I know that. I'm fine with that. God created me that way. I have other strengths. I'm confident in my role as their mother...
((CLICK TITLE FOR MORE))

And I'm thankful that I am NOT their teacher.

Enough said.

Soooo....

What to do with all of this quiet? Hmmm...I could, perhaps, write an article that should have been done last Tuesday, but didn't get done because I had four kids at home clamoring for my attention, and I had another story also due at the same time so I called the first story editor up and begged for a later deadline and she said, 'That's fine...I know you'll get it turned it,' and I said, 'Thank you, thank you, thank you Ms. Editor, because you have saved my sanity."

And she laughed.

So today I write.

And tomorrow I will write.

And Sunday and Monday and Tuesday and probably Wednesday too.

Lots of writing...unless of course that prediction for more snow this weekend comes through.

And then all bets are off.

Snowmaggedon...Day 4

2011-02-03T09:40:00.000-08:00

Maddie's frog slippers

'What are you doing,' I asked Maddie this morning.

'I code and circle sight word,' she replied in all seriousness.

Big words for a little girl. Especially one just three years removed from a Ukrainian orphanage.

She loves to read her books. On cold, snowy mornings (like today) you can often find her sitting next to me, planted on top of the heater vent, circling word after word with her little green pencil. You're supposed to circle the words that you recoganize just by looking at them. For Maddie...there are A LOT of sight words. ;)

And most mornings she dons a lovely outfit to 'work' in. This morning it was her pink bunny pajamas and her lime green frog slippers. Add to that ensemble the purple, white, blue, green, orange and yellow headband that she made at a recent birthday party and you can make a mental image of my sweet chick-pea as we begin our FOURTH day of no school thanks to Snowmaggedon 2011.
((CLICK THE TITLE FOR MORE))

Four days. Ugh. We're running out of things to do.
On Monday we watched TV. Lots of TV. I had an article to finish and had little time for breaking up squabbles and dishing out punishments. I was more than happy to hand them over to my built-in babysitter.
On Tuesday Dad was home. Thank goodness. Although, if you're a Facebook friend, you remember that having Shad home is not always good for creative writing. I did, however, finish the assignment - even through the cacophany of wrestling dogs, paint scrapers, cordless drills, Sponge Bob, TobyMac and vacuum cleaners.

Wednesday was Maddie's family day. I didn't get much done except hanging out with the Madster and answering at least a thousand times the question, 'Why we have family day?'
Today, I'm hoping to get something accomplished...anything. Although first on the agenda is some game time. We didn't get as much in as we had hoped to yesterday. So we're thinking a Connect 4 tourney may be in order.
But after that I'm getting down to work. Really. I am. Well, maybe after we make some brownies and watch our DVRd Little House on the Prairie marathon.
But then I'm REALLY hunkering down.
Really.

password protected 6

2011-02-03T05:58:00.000-08:00

I know I promised I wouldn't do this to you anymore after the private blogs about my job situation...and I meant it. I had no more plans to keep anything from you.

But honestly, I have a new situation (nothing horrible) that has popped up and I need feedback. Unfortunately, for those of you who know me in real life, I can't let you in on it yet - don't worry it won't be much longer.

But for those of you who are virtual strangers, I can spill the beans.

So...If you're interested - head over here. If you need the password, just ask. And be sure to leave me a comment. You KNOW how I LOVE comments. ;)

three years and counting...

2011-02-02T18:49:00.000-08:00

Can it really have been three years?

Really?

It seems like just yesterday I stepped off that plane in Kansas City with the Madster and ran into my family's arms - exhausted from spending three weeks by myself in Ukraine, but amazed at the bond Maddie and I were slowly building.

Over the last three years we've worked hard on that bond. We have spent a lot of time teaching her what family is...learning how to navigate through some post-orphanage stuff and helping her to adapt to the listening world.

Today, I can honestly say...I am Maddie's mom. She believes it...and I KNOW it. Sure, she still would walk away with a stranger...but now she would look back, she'd ask about me and she would be unsure of herself. I KNOW it...I've SEEN it. ((MORE))

She no longer mommy-shops, she doesn't hug complete strangers and even shies away a bit when people ask her questions - in an absolutely age-appropriate way.

It's a beautiful thing!

She doesn't hoard food anymore. She asks for snacks and accepts that sometimes she will get some and other times (if its too close to dinner) she won't. She shares her toys, has good friends at school and is learning more English all the time.

Sure, there are still gaps. Spending four years in an Eastern European orphanage will do that to you, but those gaps are closing. More and more often she's surprising me with her knowledge about things that are more than basic.

I'm hearing her use bigger and bigger words all the time. She is reading....well. Her teacher has placed her in the middle reading group in her class.

She wants to know how to spell EVERYTHING. She draws and draws and draws. She plays sports. She loves to play dress up and isn't opposed to folding laundry.

She is growing (only one size behind her older sister who is 10! :), maturing (she constantly nags the older boys for misbehaving) and becoming more beautiful every day (see picture above. ;)

In just two short weeks she will turn 7, which for some reason is a big birthday milestone for me. It seems that when kids turn 7 they're no longer the 'little' ones...and suddenly on the verge of becoming a big kid.

Sigh.

And perhaps the biggest milestone of all - this year will finally mark the point where she will have been with us longer than she was in the orphanage.

I. CAN'T. WAIT!

So while it does seem like just yesterday that Maddie and I stepped off that plane, in so many ways it has been a lifetime. And I have enjoyed every minute of it!

Happy Family Day, Maddie! :)

gate, crate, bait and umm...update!

2010-12-04T06:00:00.000-08:00

"Pop," Shad says.
"Bed," Maddie replies.
"No, Maddie," Shad patiently replies. "Not bed...Pop. Try again."
It's a daily game. Shad sits in the recliner with a bag of M&Ms working with Maddie to help her overcome the one linguistic challenge she just can't seem to master. Rhyming.
We haven't really been able to put our finger on why she can't rhyme. At first we thought it was that she simply couldn't grasp the concept...so we gave her examples. Nope.
Then we thought it might be that she couldn't hear the sounds, but she can copy what we're saying nearly verbatim.
Then I had an epiphany.
((MORE))
When we first brought Maddie home from Ukraine and we were in Grab-Your-Lasso, the speech pathologist talked about how we had to train Maddie how to listen for sounds. We had to teach her what a car sounded like, to listen for that noise a train makes and to hear the clump, clump, clump of heavy boots in the hall.
For months, maybe even the first year, every new sound Maddie came across had to be identified and defined.
Everything.
I'm wondering if its the same concept. Maddie isn't listening for the rhymes. For kids with hearing disabilities the ending sounds are often the most difficult to identify. If you can't hear them, you can't identify them. And while Maddie's hearing aid has opened up her world, I am convinced there are some things she's still missing.
And the ends of words, and the beauty of rhyming is one of them.
That's just one example of the struggles we've been through in the last year with Maddie. Actually, its not so much a struggle as it is a...hmmm....I don't really know what to call it. It certainly isn't stressful. It's more frustrating. But it's not her fault, so there's no one to blame. It's just there...and we have to deal with it.
We have had quite a few more.

MEDICAL SCHMEDICAL
After Nick's ADHD diagnosis last year we got to thinking...'If NICK is ADHD, Maddie is OFF. THE. CHARTS.
We've been wondering for quite some time, but after going through the checklist for Nick it became absolutely apparent that Maddie is a classic case of ADHD.
Last year in Kindergarten she struggled with not only staying on task, but sitting still for any length of time, getting in people's faces, eating her lunch without jumping up and down and yelling.
It was as if at school she became a completely different child.
She WANTED to be good. Oh, how she wanted to be good. She TRIED to be good. She really, really did. But she couldn't help herself. There was something deep, deep inside that insisted...no, more like demanded to be let out.
For the longest time Shad and I struggled with how to handle it. We discussed it with her, we disciplined her, we changed her diet...we tried everything. But even with us practically sitting on her at home (metaphorically speaking of course), she had a hard time doing what was expected and acting in an appropriate manner. At school it became absolutely impossible.
The last straw was the softball incident this summer. As I watched the other kindergartners listen to the coaches, acting appropriately, being able to pay attention long enough to hit the ball, it became painfully aware that Maddie wasn't even CLOSE to being on target.
Not. even. close. And it broke my heart.
So I did something at one point I swore I would never do. I called the doctor and set up a meeting to talk about Maddie and my belief that she had ADHD.
You have to remember that with Nick I was convinced he didn't have it. If anything, it was ADD...he just needed help concentrating. So when we had his appointment, I went in there convinced he wouldn't even qualify. He just needed more time (and a better teacher) and he would be just fine.
I KNEW there was something wrong with Maddie. The doctor agreed. After looking at our survey, talking to Maddie's kindergarten teacher and observing her behavior she agreed to put her on the same medication that Nick takes.
What. A. Difference. It's not even the same child, I'm telling you! Maddie started her second year of kindergarten a month later. After the first day Mrs. B called and was convinced we had done something more than just medicate her.
At our first parent/teacher conference she and the specialists went on and on about how different of a child she was. How she couldn't get enough learning now. How she could sit and listen to a whole story during circle time. How her handwriting was now legible...how she no longer got in people's faces during recess and didn't steal anyone else's food at lunch...she was actually making REAL FRIENDS!
Wow. I didn't realize it was as bad as all of that!
The beauty of it is that, unlike Nick, the medicine takes just the edge off Maddie. It slows her down enough to help her concentrate, without diminishing her her bubbly personality. For the first time, she can sit still long enough to do a paper. She's not fighting the teachers anymore. She's not jumping up during music and running down the hall away from the music teacher.
It wasn't as if we didn't do anything about her bad behavior last year. Shad even left work one day to go to the school (30 minute drive each way) to administer some discipline. But threatening to call the parents only goes so far.
This year we haven't had one incident. Not. one.
She is golden, the teachers say. A completely different child...in a good way. Everyone is enjoying her this year and the best part is...she's learning!
Tomorrow...ACADEMICS.

reckless abandon

2010-11-10T10:41:00.000-08:00

This Sunday is 'Orphan Sunday' - a time when many churches around the country may talk about orphans and their needs. But will we be doing anything about it? I stumbled across this blog this morning and realized I couldn't say it any better. Instead of rewriting what Adeye has already so eloquently said, I ask you to read her post...and consider your response. Alek, Anya, Nick and Maddie are amazing kids - and there are thousands more just like them languishing in orphanages around the world. What can you do to help the ones we had to leave behind? - Tami

------------------------------------------------

It’s Orphan Awareness Month. Again.

Another month set aside for the church to show orphan related videos, hear testimonies relevant to adoption and orphan care, and an opportunity to listen to sermons where orphans are [possibly] mentioned.

I must confess. Many times I ask myself, “What’s the point of it?” “Is having another time set aside to create an awareness of the orphan crisis even worth the effort?” Is it? Will it make a profound difference?

Perhaps I have become somewhat cynical, or weary of the battle that rages for the lives of millions of children, or frustrated that help seems so slow to come, or desperate to see more and more who are willing to go. I don’t know. I only know the sinking feeling that I feel each time I look into the faces of our four adopted children and remember the millions that are left behind. The ones who are literally without hope, without life.

We’re the Christians doggonit! We’re God’s beloved church. His beautiful bride. We’re the ones He has already commanded to take care of the orphans.

Yet sadly, we wait.
We wait for God to speak to us in an audible voice, telling us to “GO!”—sometimes He does that audible voice thing, you know.

We wait for the perfect job to come along—orphan care demands a whole lot of money.

We wait for the bills to be paid—can’t be taking on more than we can handle.

We wait for the larger house—because adding children requires a large house.

We wait for a few kids to leave the nest before we add more—can’t be having too many children in the home.

We wait for confirmation with the perfect scripture to drop into our spirits as a sign that we need to act now.

We wait...for someone else to go.

We wait, we wait, we wait.

And while we wait—they perish. The statistics are staggering. I can’t even look anymore.

This is the horrendous reality...

Why do we find every reason under heaven and earth why we should not go? The Bible is as clear as daylight—“care for the widows and the orphans.”

It’s a lot like missions. My heart aches when I see how many churches don’t have a fabulous missions program. God’s Word says to “Go into ALL the world and make disciples of all men.” It’s a command! It’s non- negotiable. Taking care of the orphans is a command too. We’re commanded in His word to care for them—however that may look.

But still we wait for “the call” to come. Kind of like, “I am SO glad Mrs. Jenkins is called to lead children’s church, because that is DEFINITELY NOT my calling.

Ouch!

God hardly ever calls us to do things for Him when everything in our lives is just grand. He never calls us to walk on the water when our circumstances are sweet. When I look in the Bible, I see people doing things for the Lord in the midst of impossible circumstances. Tougher than what my circumstances have ever been in my entire life. Yet, they did it. In obedience. The Lord commanded them--and they went. They accepted the tough task that lay before them—come what may. They never asked the Lord for a re-commission.

So why in the world do we? What makes us so different to the people God gave us to learn from in the Bible?

Why are there so many uncared for orphans in the world when we’re commanded to care for them?

We would be wealthy if someone paid us every time we have been told that we were “called by God” to adopt our four children who have special needs. Or for the many people who have told us that “There is no way we could do what you do.”

I disagree.

You know what that does? It diminishes God’s sovereign power to do the impossible through each one of us, His people. Comments like that tell the Father, “Sorry God, but you don’t have enough power to give me the ability to parent a child who struggles in life.” “So sorry, God. Just go and call someone else.” “Oh God, and that mission field thing? There is no way I could ever do that!”

That’s perilous ground to walk on.

God’s power is absolutely made perfect in our weakness. When He commands us to do something, He equips us with everything we need to fulfill the calling with excellence. Even people like us--ordinary sinners saved by grace who are just average Joes. He does it for His glory! To make Himself famous in the earth. It has absolutely nothing to do with us. Everything God does is for His glory, not ours.

I believe with all my heart that God is raising up an army of crazy people to do the ridiculous. Many believe we are living in the end times. We agree! We sense that more than ever God is looking for those who are willing to do the impossible. Just WILLING! God is seeking out those who will serve Him with reckless abandonment, no matter where that takes them or what He tells them to do in this life.

Reckless abandon for the sake of His orphans...simply because they so desperately need US. Come what may.

duuuuuuuuuude!

2010-10-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure those were the first words out of Alek's mouth this afternoon when he caught a glimpse of me pushing a shopping cart out of CVS.

Yes...you heard me right. Shopping. Cart.

I've turned into one of 'those people.' A couponer...a die-hard couponer.

It all started out so innocently. I figured since I was going to be staying at home, I needed to find a way to save some serious cash. And one of the biggest money-pits in our monthly budget is food. So I signed us up for a newspaper subscription...and immediately started clipping coupons.

I've been hooked ever since.

I'm printing coupons off the internet and snagging a second and third copy of the paper from the vending bin (after paying for them of course...I'm not THAT cheap!) I even have a blue Tr@pper Keeper with baseball card sleeves to hold all of my ~~loot~~ coupons.

Of course Alek really wasn't surprised at the sheer volume of stuff that I was buying. When you have a family of six shopping trips are more like expeditions...but what truly got him was my receipt.

Are you ready for this?!!!!!

I walked out of that store with $86 dollars worth of merchandise...and I only spent $9!

Pretty good, huh? Yep. I thought so too. Of course it was all shampoo, toilet paper, makeup and toothpaste, but hey! It's a start...and it frees up more money for the grocery store. Now I just have to figure out how to buy $400 worth of groceries for $50! :)

we're not missing...just busy

2010-10-10T20:07:00.000-07:00

Wow! A MONTH?! That's a seriously long time, peeps!!! I'm sorry. I have no amazing excuses like a last minute Mediterranean cruise or being kidnapped by a horde of friends who took me on an amazing two-week shopping spree in NYC.
Nope. All I have is that same lame excuse I give you every September. The expo. This year she snuck up on me like a bad hair day and sucked all the joy out of my life for three straight weeks.
Last week was spent recovering. This week I have a ton of writing to do but it is all from the comforts of my home office, so I am imagining life will be VERY good this week! At least that is what I'm telling myself. :)
You know what else is good? My son's football team.*
How was that for a segway?! :)

As you all know, Alek entered Jr. High this year...and promptly signed up for football. It scared me half-to-death, but I have a new mantra now..."He's growing up, he's growing up....I have to let him grow up."
So...I didn't say a word. Instead I dutifully have planted my tukas on every football field bleacher within a 60 mile radius and watched as boys twice my size try their best to smush my son.
And I've done it with a smile on my face.
I have endured 90 degree heat, 40 degree chills and a rainstorm of Biblical proportions. Unfortunately, there are no pictures of the six of us pretending to be drowned rats. Because six games into the season I still hadn't bought a battery to go in the camera. Not that they're hard to buy...its just that my newly-turned 40-year-old brain has turned to Swiss cheese and can't hold more than two thoughts at a time. Evidently breathing and keeping the heart beating are the most important thing for it to remember...and picking up a battery at Wally World was too much for it to take.

So my oldest son's first football season nearly went by without any pictures.
Thankfully I have a daughter who has a head full of brain cells and she reminded me on a recent trip to pick some up. Soooo... I have something better than drowned rat pictures....I have VIDEO!
For my Facebook friends, this will be a repeat of a post from a week or so ago...for the rest of you, I'm sorry its taken me so long to share. But, as they say, better late than never.
I present to you...Alek's first touchdown.
Enjoy! :)

* I meant it when I said their team is good. They went undefeated and are waiting to find out who they will play in the district championship game next week.

my book worm

2010-09-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

I can't think of anything more priceless than a little girl

'reading' a book with her dog at her feet...

Unless of course its a little girl 'reading' her book

to her teddy bear. Man, I love being home for moments like these! :)

P.S. Can you believe how grown up Maddie is looking lately? Where has my baby gone?

bring on the veggies!

2010-08-31T11:07:00.000-07:00

We are BIG VeggieTales fans here in the Sunflower Seeds house.
BIG. FANS!
I think we have just about every video they've ever produced. Seriously. From the moment we first brought Alek home from Russia in July '99, we've been watching these things on a regular basis. And while the kids are definitely growing older, for some reason they're not growing tired of watching these amazing videos full of hope, humor and morals.
But I think VeggieTales may have outdone themselves this time.
The Doves just posted this link on their blog and after watching it I HAD to share.
VeggieTales is sharing the joy of adoption in their newest video - 'The Meaningful Life.' If the movie is even half as good as the others have all been, I'm going to need a kleenex every time I watch it!
I can't wait until October!!!!
Enjoy!

well THAT stunk!

2010-08-15T07:37:00.000-07:00

Where were those search and rescue dogs?!!
I was counting on you guys!
Right after I made all of those grandious promises of blogging on a regular basis and the thrill of working from home, and how wonderful this whole thing was...it. hit. hard.
Seriously! As I pushed the 'publish post' button a pain seared through my upper stomach area. And stayed.
I worried for a minute that it might be something seriously serious...but I haven't had one iota of heart problems. Not one...and my doctor's are always going on and on about my great cholesterol levels. Surely it wasn't that.
But the pain didn't go away. It just kept on going and going and going. And then as it started to ease up, it turned into nausea and well...you know...the stuff that comes with that.
I started thinking it might be something I ate, so I settled on the couch for a long night of Fox News, Pepto and frequent trips to the loo. (Stop me if I'm sharing too much.)
By the morning, I still wasn't feeling super-duper, but it had let up enough that I went ahead and made a quick trip to town to do that shopping I was talking about. But by the time we were in the middle of Wally's World I'd had enough. I made an appointment with my physician for later that afternoon.
A VERY long story short...I ended up in the ER, saw a doctor who should have his license revoked for a) not only getting the diagnosis horribly wrong (random, weird infection) but b) prescribing an antibiotic (Flagyl) to treat the mis-diagnosis that is known to cause vomiting.
Hmmm....and to think I already HAD that lovely symptom.
I spent the weekend living on the couch, exhibiting every last one of my symptoms, minus the excruciating pain (it was down to a uncomfortable ache thanks for the beauty of hydrocodone)...but still making regular trips to the lavatory.
By Monday morning I was obviously dehydrated and had uncontrolled vomiting.
I. could. not. stop.
I returned to my doctor and he sent me to the hospital where I stayed for two long days. Honestly, by the end of day one I felt so much better (I think it was just finally being hydrated) I seriously considered checking myself out.
By the end of day two I was ready to take my IV cart and hunt someone down to release me. I saw my doctor at 7 a.m....didn't see the specialist until 7 p.m.
Thankfully he agreed to let me go home.
Final diagnosis?
Pancreatitis. Weird, huh? Completely random. They can't figure out what caused it...but thankfully I had a MILD case.
Mild? Hmm... Not exactly how I would describe it, but I'm thankful to be done. All I have left is to get one more test done on Wednesday, just to make sure there is nothing else going on, and then I should be in the clear.
Thank goodness.
And here I thought working from home was going to be so relaxing.
Ha!

one week (almost) down...

2010-08-05T19:22:00.000-07:00

Part of the arrangement in leaving my old job, included the promise that I would continue to write at least a few of the articles that I would be normally scheduled to write, for three weeks after I left.

They would pay me my regular rate...and I would get to work from home. It seemed like a good idea at the time...now, I'm just wishing I would have cut and run.

Thankfully, I'm done with my regular duties for awhile. I finished an article today and don't have another interview until Sunday - and no more deadlines until Tuesday morning...so the last half of this weekend will be shot, but then again...I will be home. ;)

At least I've got one week down.

In other news...

CrossRiver is off and running. I am working with a couple of new authors to get their speaking packets together and am reviewing two, count them TWO, manuscripts for possible publication.

Oh! I didn't mention that?! :) Yes...CrossRiver is also going to be in the publishing business. This could be VERY interesting. ;)

And I'm getting ready to start my own book...THAT, people, will be interesting indeed. I'm considering putting together a devotional compilation...which means other people will write most of the devotionals and I will edit them and get credit for putting the thing together.

Not too bad, this publishing gig. ;)

In family news...

Tomorrow is the start of Missouri's tax-free weekend, which means I get to head across the river at oh-dark-thirty to try to beat the rush on school supplies. Why there is a rush I really don't know. For heaven's sake its not like there's a shortage of crayons and glue sticks...but I definitely don't want to be duking it out with the lovely people of Joe Town, so an early riser I will be.

As I told a friend earlier today...if you don't hear back from me, you'll know to send in the cadaver dogs.

Ugh.

coming up for air

2010-08-04T21:16:00.000-07:00

Okay...so this working from home thing is a bit more than I bargained for.

Did you know that it is nearly impossible to do a phone interview without a child interrupting? I had NO idea. (Did you catch that sarcasm?! :)

And you can just forget about typing more than a few words without someone spilling milk all over the kitchen floor or conning their brother into climbing on the counter to grab that precarious box of cereal off of the top shelf.

Ugh.

But all in all, its going pretty well. I took a writing break today - a much needed writing break - to get started on the SMOB part of my new career.

For those of you not in the know, SMOB stands for 'Start My Own Business.' I recently started a marketing/public relations firm for Christian authors and speakers. I'll be helping them with writing press releases, getting interviews, book signings and lots of other marketing efforts. Its already a ton of fun...and I'm only Day 3 into the venture! :)

If anyone is interested in checking it out, you can find us (me) at www.crossrivermedia.com. We also have a Facebook page, which I would like to BEG all of your FB users to 'like'. Its www.facebook.com/crossrivermedia.

I used today to crawl out from under the mountain of paperwork I had sitting on my home office desk. It was A LOT of paperwork. I had to empty the trash can twice. Actually, I had Nick empty the trash can. That's the beauty of having a home-based business...built in, absolutely free employees. ;)

Tomorrow, its back to writing. I have a magazine article to turn in and some calls to make on another one due in a couple of weeks. Whew. It makes me tired just thinking of it...but its a good kind of tired.

Really, it is.

rahbotah, finito, finished, done

2010-07-30T18:41:00.000-07:00

That's it. I'm done. You are now officially reading the blog of a full-time, self-employed, stay-at-home-mom.
Can I get an AMEN?!
Wow! It feels good. I should have done this a long time ago. I have to admit, I was a little worried I would get cold feet - that at the last minute I would say I couldn't do it and beg for my old job back. But not only have my feet stayed unbelievably warm, I am feeling an incredible sense of peace about this whole thing...which is AMAZING!
I didn't even get teary today. Not once. And that's saying something - I get teary over tire commercials.
I did, however, stop for just a second and take a deep breath before pushing the door open as I left. But really? That was more for your benefit than anything. I needed something dramatic to write about.
The day went smoothly, relatively quietly...and thankfully quickly. Now I am free to write as I wish, when I wish and for whom I wish...and I am so thankful for the blessing.
I did have one incredibly neat moment this afternoon...that I'm taking as a God-thing.
Every year our mortgage company sends us a little escrow account statement. Its the thing that tells us how much is left in our escrow account to pay for things like taxes and homeowners insurance. Every year since we've bought this place its gone up.
Every. Year.
Significantly.
When we bought this place six years ago we were paying almost $300 less per month than we do now...and we have a fixed rate mortgage!
So needless to say we were a bit nervous about getting that statement this year. What with the cost of everything going up...taxes, insurance, the cost of band-aids, we were sure we would have another jump in our monthly house payment.
Guess what?
It not only didn't go UP...it went DOWN! Big time! Around $60 a month.
AND...
Wait for it......
They sent US a check for almost another $100 because we had overpaid last year.
So, to recap...Not only is our house payment not going UP by the amount we had already budgeted...it is going DOWN by nearly the same amount.
And we got the news on the day we took a step of faith and I left my job to come and stay home.
How cool is that?!
I thought so too. ;)

anniversaries and THREEEEEEE

2010-07-27T19:31:00.000-07:00

Look at me! I'm posting on a semi-regular basis!!! Aren't you so proud of me! This whole leaving the working world to come home to be with the kids and start my own freelance writing/marketing company may be starting to wear off on me a bit already! Look out people, if we don't watch it, I may become quite prolific!!! :)
I have a bit of a hodge-podge for you tonight. A little of this...a little of that...let's start off with the really happy stuff shall we?

We celebrated Family Day yesterday. It was 11 years ago yesterday that we got custody of Alek and took him out the babyhouse. We were finally parents. It seems like just yesterday. And while I know its terribly cliche, can I just say, 'My baby is growing up!' I swear I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning and he's going to be towering over me. I just know it. He already has me in his sights. He's making little comments here and there...calling me 'shorty' and saying, 'Hey Mom! Have you shrunk?!'

I just wish he were referring to my weight, instead of my height.

We'll let him enjoy his little bit of fun. Just wait until HIS kids grow up! :)

Yesterday also marked the eighth anniversary of bringing Anya and Nick out of the babyhouse as well. Yep...all three kids have the same Family Day anniversary. Cool, huh? I think so. I've posted before about all of the amazing things that have happened during the adoption of our three oldest kids. Here it is if anyone needs a refresher.

Anyway...we celebrated with a night at the movies and a trip to B@skin Robbins afterwards. The kids were in Heaven. Unfortunately, I didn't think to take pictures until we were home and everyone was in bed. Sigh.

Now for some cool stuff...
The magic number is three! Three days until I am officially gainfully employed as a full-time stay-at-home-mom and part-time business owner. I can't wait!
It's amazing how incredibly at peace I finally am about this whole thing. I've always wanted to do this...we finally have the insurance thing figured out...and I'll still be writing on the side. I don't think it gets much better than that.
PLUS...
I found out today that I may TECHNICALLY not be unemployed after all. Its weird how this all turned out, but the company I work for has decided to go ahead and keep me on the rolls as an incredibly part-time employee. I would still be doing a lot of freelance work for them...and since I'll be doing stuff for a bunch of different departments on a regular basis they figured it would just be easier to have me be really, Really, REALLY part-time.
That way I can go ahead and have taxes taken out of my check...and they don't have to worry about some extra accounting stuff...and I get a decent hourly wage. Well, decent is all in the eye of the beholder, but still...its a regular wage...and that's fine by me.
PLUS...There's a chance I could be eligible for the company's part-time employee's health insurance program which would be AWESOME! :) And I would still be able to do all the work from home.
Seeeeeee....good stuff! :)
It's coming together. Just three more days.

better late than...

2010-07-24T21:57:00.000-07:00

Its been two and a half years now since we brought Maddie home from the orphanage in Odessa, Ukraine. She has grown and changed so much in the last 54 months...in many ways she doesn't resemble the same child we first brought home.
For just about the same amount of time I have been trying to upload the video I have made of Maddie's adoption trip. I have tried everything I could think of to get it to work. I tried uploading it to YouTube more times than I can count.
'Surely this time will be different," I would say.
And then I would fail...again.
Finally, tonight I started redoing the video. I was desperate to finally share Maddie's story in video. As I was looking through some of the photos I loaded onto Photobucket from Ukraine I noticed they have a new video uploader. (Well, at least new to me.)
"Hmmm...," I thought. "Maybe."
Sure enough! It worked! Woohoooooo!!!!
So while it may be 54 months late...I FINALLY present to you, 'Finding Maddie.'
Grab a Kleenex...you may need it. ;)
Enjoy!

my future eyeglass models

2010-07-22T18:57:00.000-07:00

The kids' glasses are in and I have to say...the kids are absolutely adorable!
I can say that! I didn't have anything to do with their genetics! :)

Both Nick and Anya seem to be enjoying them...no complaints of headaches so far...and both are taking good care of them.
The only fly in the ointment was when we went to get the kids fitted, Maddie started crying. She was upset because SHE wanted a pair. ;)

three out of five ain't bad

2010-07-15T20:21:00.000-07:00

We were so blessed. The kids didn't have eyesight issues, I didn't have eyesight issues. Shad was the only one in the family who needed glasses.
Weren't we so lucky?
Not anymore.
On Tuesday we took the kids to the optometrist. Oh, not because they needed glasses, oh no! We just took them out of an abundance of caution! Since I'm leaving my job, we will also be losing health insurance, why not take advantage of the insurance and get everyone checked one last time.
Oh. My. Word!!
Of the five appointments, three of us walked out of there with glasses.
And we may need a fourth! Good grief!!!!! We had absolutely NO idea that the kids needed glasses. None whatsoever. Thankfully the insurance will cover a good portion of it...and the kids were all able to find some specs that they liked.
Anya, Nick and I will all be sporting new rims by this time next week. Anya and I, thankfully, don't have to wear them full-time. She just needs hers for school...and I only need mine for driving. Nick, however, will be sporting them for every waking hour.
Good thing he looks absolutely ADORABLE in his glasses. I can't wait to show you pictures, seriously...he looks like one of those redhead little boy eyeglass models! Who knows? He may have a new career in front of him. ;)
The fourth victim may be Maddie. They're not sure yet if she really needs them...it was hard to tell with the testing. I was impressed at how well she did with the tests. They insisted on doing the letter versions of the test since she had been through kindergarten...but she had a hard time understanding what they wanted of her. Above, below, smaller, bigger, wiggly, flashing...all of those concepts are still hard for her. Even so, she stuck with it, didn't get frustrated (which really isn't in her nature anyway), didn't get too distracted and loved playing their 'game.'
The doctor wants to retest her next week when we pick up everyone else's specs. I SERIOUSLY hope she doesn't need glasses. Think about it...if she has to get glasses, they'll have to have a band to hold them on her head...the sports kind. She already has to deal with the hearing aid having to be held on her head with a band...now a pair of glasses! There HAS to be a better way!
I need to start doing some research just in case.

so far, so good

2010-07-12T20:03:00.000-07:00

The babysitter reported an excellent day today.
There was no sneaking off to friends' homes...
No WWF matches in the hallways...
And the kids all listened...
That's good, because I really didn't have a Plan B. Don't tell the kids, but half the time I just do this creative discipline thing on the fly. ;)
Speaking of last minute plans...I decided this weekend, that one of the things the kids needed was a change of scenery. I'm sure they're sick of hanging around the house all summer...and since a vacation is NOT in the plans this summer, I figure we need to take as many mini-breaks as possible.
So...Sunflower Seed Break #1 was a trip to our local fruit farm where the kids and I spent the better part of a morning picking blueberries and playing on a pretty neat little playground. I thought I would share pics of the cuteness that is my kiddos...but while I have pictures of them picking berries, for some reason I don't have any of the equally cute playground.
It may be because I forgot my camera so I had to use my trusty little phone to take my pictures...and then there was the laborious process of emailing them all to myself because I haven't figured out any other way to get them off my phone. I really need get that figured out. I have music programs, baseball games and other cute pictures stuck on there. Heaven forbid anything happens to it.
Anyway...we had fun. It was all I could do to keep the kids from eating the berries before I had a chance to pay for them. They even found a schedule of the picking season for the rest of the year and are already begging me to take them back in two weeks when the blackberries will be ready.
I guess they had a good time.
Enjoy the pictures.

a day (or two) or relative calm

2010-07-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

To say we've had a challenging summer would be a bit of an understatement.
All four kids have been pushing boundaries the last few months, and quite frankly, we just about need a dry erase board to keep up with all of the groundings, punishments and extra chores.
There's not one child who is standing out in the defiance. Each one of them have pushed equally as hard...and in fact, probably feed off of each other to a certain extent.
But Maddie has been especially concerning. She's back to hoarding food...she stole all of Nick's candy from the July 4th parade - eating every last piece (I'm surprised she didn't get sick). She's taking juice packets up to her room and hiding the evidence in places that we don't find for weeks...and she's crawling up on the countertops to reach the top shelf of the cabinets to look for cookies...sometimes successfully.
That is most definitely not all of her behaviors. She has become defiant with the sitter and her father...not with me yet, but I tend to be the 'heavy' in the house. She is back to using her 'fake smile' to try to charm people into getting what she wants...and the other day the kids said she walked up to some strangers in the alley (all four were out of the yard - without permission from the sitter)...and started talking to them. The other three kids kept telling her to stop, but she just ignored them.
I can't say its all the babysitter's fault. She has actually probably been the best one we've had in quite awhile. She lays down the law...but all four kids keep trying to find a way around it. I'm sure all four of them provide quite a challenge for a teenager...and while there are some things I would like to her to do differently, I know she really is trying to do her best. Its just when she turns her back for a second, the kids take full advantage.
Last Wednesday was the last straw. When I walked in the door the sitter informed me of a whole host of infractions...from every. last. one. of them.
So...
The kids have been experiencing 'solitary confinement' the last couple of days.
They get up in the morning...eat breakfast, get dressed, clean their rooms, then grab a book and sit on their bed...all. day. long. No entertainment of any sort - except that book. No talking. No radio. No phone. Nothing. From the time I left at 8 a.m. until I came home at 6 p.m....their life was their room. We figure, if we can't trust them to obey the babysitter while we're gone, then they most certainly can't be allowed to get up off their bed, now can they?
Bathroom breaks and lunch times were their only reprieve.
It was a good old-fashioned grounding.
The first day the kids weren't too upset about it...well, all except for Alek who had been through this type of thing before. Poor little things...they had no clue what was coming. The sitter said shortly after noon, they tried started getting up and running around upstairs thinking they were being quiet enough that she couldn't hear them.
Thank goodness for 150 year old houses and their creaky floors! :)
They did better on day two.
And I think the babysitter really enjoyed the break. And why wouldn't she? She got paid the same amount just to sit and read a book while the kids laid on their beds. I wish I had it that easy.
This is just one of the plethora of reasons I am coming home.
All of the kids behaviors need improvement, but Maddie's is especially concerned. We are seeing a huge amount of regression. Orphanage behaviors we thought were behind us...and legitimately were while we were in Grab-Your-Lasso, are rearing their ugly heads again.
I know its a process...that there are steps forward and steps back in her attachment. Right now we're heading backwards. I'm just thrilled that in three weeks, I'll be able to be here to stand behind her as she takes those steps back...and help propel her forward again.

a new beginning

2010-06-27T21:11:00.000-07:00

I did something the other day I've been dreaming of for a very long time.

I resigned.

As of July 31, 2010, I will officially no longer be a newspaper reporter, instead I will be a stay-at-home mom/freelance writer.

I KNOW! Crazy, huh?! It kinda surprised me too. The whole thing came together pretty quickly. I'll fill you in on the details later. What I'm concentrating on right now is that in less than 30 days I will be home with my kids.

I'll be here when they're sick...

I'll drop them off at school...(except on Tuesdays when Shad's home. ;)

I'll go on their field trips...

I'll pack their lunches every morning (because you KNOW without me working full-time the belt HAS to tighten! ;)

I'll pick them up from school every single day...(except on Tuesdays when Shad's home.)

I'll help them with their homework...(except on Tuesday's when Shad's home.)

I'll fix their after-school snacks...(except on Tuesdays when...well, you know. ;)

And so much more...

I can't tell you how excited I am. It's been a long, complicated road to make this happen. Its been a long time coming...we needed a lot of miracles to make it work...but God is GOOD!

Woooohooooo!!!!!!!!

deep in conversation

2010-06-19T07:39:00.000-07:00

With all the craziness of life lately...and the hard work I'm putting into SMOB...I haven't had a chance to really just lean back and enjoy my life much.

Until last night.

We were at Nick's baseball game...only one more next week and then a tournament, thank you very much...when I spotted this scene. Alek and Anya sitting next to each other on the bleacher, talking about something - who knows what.

I just love that my kids are growing up enjoying spending time together. They all have their own friends, and love playing with other kids in the neighborhood, but given the opportunity, these two decided to sit and watch their brother's game, together.

That does a mom's heart good! :)

off and running

2010-06-05T20:48:00.000-07:00

I know its not really fair to the rest of you, but I have another password protected post here.

I promise these will be stopping soon...just trying to get some stuff out of my system that I need to keep to myself for now.

Remember...if you don't have the password, just ask. ;)

luk out fur yukky spelen testz

2010-05-28T04:29:00.000-07:00

I have yet ANOTHER nomination for WMEC Club, although this time Shad's name should be on the application form too. I wasn't the only bad parent here this week! :)
In the interest of full disclosure let's just say spelling tests are not Nick's strong suit...and for some reason Shad and I have a really hard time helping him. Finally this year we seem to have hit upon a technique that works and in the last few months the tests have gotten better...and better still, once he started the medication.
Until a few weeks ago.
THAT was baaaaaaad. In fact, it may have been the perfect storm. Nick had a horrible, no-good, very bad spelling test...and it wasn't even his fault. His dad and I somehow miscommunicated and no one helped him study for his test at all that week, even though he kept reminding us. So the poor boy missed 14 points on his spelling test!
When I picked him up on Friday from school he asked if he could talk to me. When we got home I walked with him into the living room, away from everyone else, pulled him onto my lap and asked him what was wrong.
Big, silent tears started rolling down his cheeks as he admitted his test score. He was so disappointed because he had been doing so well. I looked at his test and saw the neatest handwriting I have ever seen my little guy pen and quickly started complimenting on how hard he had tried.
"I can tell you tried your best, Nick," I tried to comfort. "Look at how nice and neat you wrote."
"Yeah, Mom, but I still missed the words."
As I sat and rocked my little man, I couldn't help remember how it had been just a few months before. Nick couldn't have cared less about how he did on those tests. He
That horrible spelling test solidified our plan. We let Nick finish the school year out on the medication. He likes the way the medicine helps him concentrate at school. He's proud of the good grades he's bringing home. His relationship with his teacher is better and he's even starting to show some interest in reading. His standardized test scores are improving...what's not to like about that.
So we decided to stay the course until the end of the school year. Last Friday was the last day of medication for Nick until Fall, and we're already seeing the return of the old Nick. The one who can't seem to remember to do something we told him two minutes ago...is constantly arguing with his youngest sister...and can't keep his room neat for anything
But the light is also back - the ornery streak. The tenacity. The curiosity. The boundless energy. The sly smile.
Welcome back, Nick!

operation smob

2010-05-27T19:14:00.000-07:00

I have a password protected blog HERE. Hopefully this will be one of the last ones. As always, if you don't have the password, please ask.

Thanks,

so here's the thing...

2010-05-14T06:14:00.000-07:00

Password protected post is here.
As always, if you don't have the password, please be sure to ask.

password protected 5

2010-05-08T19:34:00.000-07:00

I have a password protected post here.
If you don't have the password please be sure to ask.

alphabet soup

2010-04-17T06:45:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I mentioned things had become a little difficult here in the Emerald City...but at the time I wasn't quite ready to share. It really isn't that catastrophic...at least not for those immediately involved. It was just difficult for me. And, you KNOW, its all about me. ;)
Anyway...I think I've finally worked through all of the emotions involved to the point where I'm ready to share. I would suggest grabbing a cup of java for this one. It is one, long, involved story.
---------------------
We've been having some trouble with Nick lately. Actually, the truth is he's been struggling for some time...mostly in school.
In preschool he was constantly in trouble. But then he had Mrs. Whack-job for a teacher. She sent him to the Principal's office - every. single. day. Many days it for nothing more serious than not sitting still during reading circle time.
He never got in trouble for hitting anyone.
He never bit anyone.
He never really talked back to her.
He just didn't want to do things her way...and she couldn't handle it and refused to discipline within the classroom. So every day Nick would end up in the Principal's office...most times unbeknownst to us because it really wasn't that big of a deal. We finally determined it really was just a case of a really bad teacher and decided to move him into a part-time Pre-K program. He settled right down and responded well to the program. We had not one iota of a problem after that.
The next year in Kindergarten, things went pretty well. Actually they went really well until the end of the year when he started to get bored. He became more restless and disruptive. We worked out a program of daily updates and rewards for good behavior with the teacher. It worked with limited success, but it got us through the rest of the school year.
Last year, in first grade, we had one issue on the playground, which we quickly remedied with six notes of apology to everyone involved - from the kids, to their parents, the teacher and the superintendent. There wasn't so much as a hint of a problem afterwards. (He really hated writing those notes.)
This year has been a different story. It feels as if Nick has returned to preschool where nothing he does is ever good enough. The teacher is constantly on his back and he just doesn't see the benefit of doing what she wants him to do.
We tried working with the teacher. We asked her to send us daily updates as we did in kindergarten and implemented a reward system that he seemed more interested in. And it worked, for awhile. But the teacher horribly inconsistent about sending home notes...and without the regular rewards for good behavior, Nick lost interest.
She finally convinced us to have a re-eval of his IEP...complete with psychological testing and a battery of other tests.
Quite frankly, I was ticked.
This was the same teacher that was convinced there was something wrong with Alek when she had him. She insisted that we have a battery of testing done, which eventually identified him as having Auditory Processing Disorder. Three years later that 'diagnosis' was lifted. Grab Your Lasso determined he didn't have any of the signatures of the disorder and felt he was fine. (This is not a disorder you 'get over', although you can acquire coping mechanisms.)
This year, Alek, who she had so many issues with, is getting straight A's. And really, not so much straight A's, as HIGH straight A's. The boy either never had an issue to begin with, or developed some seriously amazing, miraculous coping skills.
When Nick's tests came back, they proved what we've known all along. He's bright...there are no cognitive delays or learning disabilities...there was nothing identified except for a language delay which is being addressed in his IEP along with his speech.
Not satisfied, she asked that we have Nick evaluated for ADHD. She was SURE that was what was wrong.
We balked.
Honestly, we didn't see the issues she sees at school. At home, he obeys us. He listens to us. He really isn't that much to handle. Yes, he is active...but he's a boy. Yes, he squirms in his chair...but he's a BOY! Yes, he has a hard time following directions, hates doing homework and finds it almost impossible to finish a task without being reminded 3-trillion times, but HE. IS. A. BOY!
We agreed to fill out the questionnaires, but hesitated to take them to our doctor. Instead, we struggled for awhile, trying to get along with the teacher, trying to make sure Nick held up his end of the relationship and just trying to limp our way through the end of the school year so he could move on to third grade and to a new, much better teacher.
And then she dropped a bombshell.
At our bi-annual parent/teacher conference last month, she said, flat out, she didn't know if she could pass Nick. It wasn't his ability - it was his 'attitude.' His attitude was inhibiting his ability to learn what he needed to learn...and if she sent him on to third grade, she was afraid he would get even further behind.
I think Nick got wind of it because within a few days he was talking about how he hated school and started talking negatively about himself.
Screeeeeeeeech!!!!
That was it. I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. We decided to take him and forms in to his pediatrician. I was convinced there wouldn't be an issue...that it was all in the teacher's approach to Nick. Nick didn't respect her because of her attitude toward him...and her teaching style (very similar to his preschool teacher).
I was wrong.
Dr. B took one look at the forms from the teacher, some other teachers and ourselves, and said he was ADD...possibly ADHD. Did we want to put him on medication?
Seriously? Really?
It was if she had slapped me across the face.
I took the prescription and drove over to the pharmacy in a bit of a daze. After I plunked the $60 for a 30-day supply of Concerta, it hit me.
My kid has ADD.
Honestly? I've been struggling the last few weeks. I'm feeling a bit of the same old funk I felt when we first brought Maddie home. When we went to Ukraine to bring home a child, we were fully expecting to adopt a healthy child with no physical issues. Sure, there would be developmental problems, but those would all magically go away with just some love, time and extra help.
Then, after the initial joy of bringing Maddie home wore off, and the reality of her disability sunk in, I entered a bit of a funk. It actually may have been a bit of PAD (Post-Adoption Depression). I was overwhelmed with her needs...and really had no idea how to help her, where to turn for that help. This take-charge girl who has never struggled to make a decision a day in her life, was suddenly paralyzed with indecision. I couldn't even decide to pick up the phone and call Children's Hospital to get her an appointment, people. That's how serious it was.
And here I was again, feeling paralyzed. Uncertain of what to do...and where to turn. My son has a life-altering disability...and I was barely able to decide to pick up his prescription. I found myself longing for the days when Nick was a little guy and I could make his pain go away just by kissing his boo-boos, putting on a band-aid and sending him back outside to play.
ADD is a life-time thing. He may be struggling with this for the rest of his life. And all I can do is buy him a prescription. No amount of hugging, kissing or reassuring will make it go away.
Sigh.
The blessing is, the medicine seems to be working. He's on the lowest dose available and the first day he took the meds, the teacher called absolutely thrilled. He was behaving like a model second-grader. A week later she reported if he keeps this up she won't have any problem passing him.
This week she reported absolutely no problem.
Of course she says that (I think snidely), she's finally gotten what she's wanted. The perfect little boy who sits still, hangs on her every word and whom she doesn't have to discipline in any way shape or form or really even pay any attention to.
I, on the other hand, am left with a shadow of my former son. I keep worrying Nick's personality is changing...that the meds are robbing me of the little boy I came to know and love. I don't necessarily think he's over medicated - he's not in a daze. But he's quiet...unnaturally so. He's not nearly as active - I'm having a hard time to get him to go outside and play ball. And he certainly isn't the life-loving, joke-telling, vivacious little boy I had three weeks ago.
I don't want Nick to change. Sure I would like to have him be easier to parent...but I would much rather have him be the little boy God created him to be.
And then I start worrying about Maddie.
She's even more active, inattentive and distractable than Nick.
Is she next? Will they urge us to have her tested? Will we find that the only way to get our kids through the Emerald City school system is to medicate them to the point that we don't recognize them anymore?
Sigh.

awards night

2010-04-14T20:30:00.000-07:00

Please indulge me while I brag just a bit.

Tonight was the last night of AWANA for the year and so it was awards night.

Anya was awarded the first year book award for T&T, Nick finished up his last Sparks book and received the Sparkie plaque...and Alek wrapped up his AWANA career with the highest award our church offers - the Timothy Award. He finished every book on every level in AWANA...which means over the course of his nine year AWANA career he has memorized more than 400 verses. You ROCK Alek!

* Where was Maddie you ask? Well, let's just say Maddie was thrilled to be there and to watch her big brothers and sister. She's worked hard this year and will be right back at it next year. ;)

my little princesses

2010-04-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

I love spending time with the girls...just the girls...which we don't get to do very often. So when we have the opportunity, we take advantage of it.
Today we headed over to Kansas City to Crown Center with a friend and her two girls, to check out the Fairytale Village.

There were carriages to climb through, castles to explore, golden eggs to weigh and the three bears chairs to check out. We could have also had our picture taken with Cinderella...if we wanted to wait two hours in line.

Ummm....no thank you.

We simply said, 'Hey girls! Look over there! There's Cinderella."

Thankfully, they thought that was good enough.

After we were done exploring (and shopping) we headed out to the courtyard for a quick picnic lunch by the fountains. Tons of fun. And you're in luck. Since its been an eternity since I've given you (or taken) any kind of real pictures, I've decided to step up today and take way more pictures than necessary.

And I decided to share.
You can thank me later...after you take a look at the cuteness that is Anya, Maddie and their two friends.
Enjoy! :)

a bit of chocolate, please

2010-04-06T20:11:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. I've done something I've never done before...and swore I never would.
I signed up for one of those 'blog tour challenges' last week.
I know, I know...but I HAD to! It was a *CHOCOLATE* blog tour.
"Aaaaah...," I can hear you say. "Now I understand. You have an addiction."
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!!! Why, YES. I. DO!
There is a definite dependence here. You'll remember...chocolate was one of the luxury items I took en-bulk to Ukraine two years ago. Do you not remember the M&Ms and popcorn?! (I looked for a link, but promptly got sucked into reading two months worth of my adoption blog...still couldn't find it but had a nice trip down memory lane.)
It's been a rough few weeks here in the Emerald City, hence, the radio silence. So when I saw the email in the inbox announcing the "Dove Milk Chocolate with Peanut Butter blog tour" - well, let's just say I didn't have a very lady-like response. I may have actually squealed...just a bit. And maybe snorted. ;)
Anyway...I jumped...actually, I chucked the article I was supposed to be writing and whipped up an email and sent it off to Alison at Mom Central, begging her to let me take part in the tour.
Seriously...begging.
And low and behold a few hours later I had a lovely little note in my inbox saying I would be receiving a box in the mail within a few days.
*Cue the hallelujah chorus here*
True to her word, the lovely box showed up in my box a few days later. And it couldn't have come at a better time. Have I mentioned its been a bit tough here in the Emerald City lately?

Ummm...yeah.

Anyway...we need to get a few things straight, right here, right now. I am not impartial when it comes to chocolate, or to Dove chocolate. There's no pretense of journalistic integrity...impartiality or any other-ty. I LOVE the stuff.
LOVE. IT.
And this stuff is no different. It is smooth and yummy and perfect...and, and, and...
I haven't willingly shared a single bite of it.

With anyone.

I actually hid it from the kids. Am I a bad mommy because I hid the bag from the kids...and Shad...and from my mother when she came to visit this weekend, because I know she would have cleaned me out? (Who did you think would have taught me to love chocolate. I come by it honestly, let me tell you! :)
So...the conclusion.
It's good.
Really, really good.
Go get some.
Hurry.
Go.
Now.

Cuz I'm not sharing. :)

*I wrote this review while participating in a blog tour campaign by Mom Central on behalf of DOVE and received samples DOVE Milk Chocolate with Peanut Butter products and a gift certificate to facilitate my review.

mirthful maddie

2010-03-22T06:09:00.000-07:00

In the last few weeks its been as if my little Madster has gone through a transformation of sorts.
I've told you how incredibly laid back Maddie is. She takes everything in stride, rarely getting upset...and she always has a smile on her face.
And it's still true...in fact it seems to have multiplied.
I think Maddie is finding her sense of humor...and it is HILARIOUS! :)
Case in point - on Saturday, Shad took the kids to Kansas city to an alpaca show - because, you know, we now own two (count them, two) alpaca (not quite sure if that should be alpaca or alpacas...but since I'm not on the clock, I'm not going to do the research to figure it out. :)
Anyway...He took them to the show.
When they got back, I had this conversation with Maddie...

Me: Maddie, did you like the show?
Maddie: Uh-huuuuuuuh.
Me: Well, what did you see there?
Maddie: Sheep. (Believe me, she knows the difference.)
Me: Maddie, you didn't see sheep, did you? It was an alpaca show.
Maddie: Uh-huuuuuuh. We saw sheep. Pink sheep (with a big grin on her face.) Lots of pink sheep.
Me: Really? Wow. Pink sheep. I don't think I've ever heard of a pink sheep at an alpaca show. ;)
Maddie: (Giggle, giggle, snort.) Ha. Ha. Mommy. I gaaaaawt you! :)
Me: Yes, Maddie. You certainly did.

I can't quite remember what developmental milestone that is for un-institutionalized kids - how early they truly discover their funny bone...but Maddie seems to have certainly found hers! :)

I really haven't fallen off the face of the planet...it just seems like it.

2010-03-11T17:46:00.000-08:00

"Hey look! She's blogging!"
"Oooohh! I never thought I'd see the day!"
"Wow! I'd given her blog up for dead."
Don't get TOO sassy or you can just forget about seeing the pics I was thinking of posting later this week! :)
Yep. I had a few minutes with my laptop - a rare commodity around here - and before I knew it I was clicking on the 'Blogger' tab and typing a quick update.
It sure does feel good to be back. I hadn't intended to have such a long blogging break. I fully intended to keep updating as much as possible, its just that evening after evening started slipping by without so much as an idea of what to post. And when I did come up with something, I'd fall asleep at the keyboard or drift off on the couch before I found the words to write.
Tonight? Well, tonight I have found I have a few words left over from my week at work. I don't have another story due until Tuesday (when I have two due)...and the short reprieve has allowed me to catch my breath...and has proven to me that I really haven't lost my love of writing and blogging - my job is just continues to slurp every last word out of my brain.
Lovely word picture, no?
Sigh.
Anyway...I owe you an update. Let's see how much I get done before falling asleep tonight. :)

The Madster
A little over two years since bringing this child home and I am still constantly amazed at her tenacity and eternal optimism. She rarely gets upset - which makes dealing with her hearing loss so much easier. I know its not all about me, really I do, but I have known since I was young, I don't have what it takes to raise a special needs child. I have zero patience. I know that comes as a comlete shock to every last one of you. ;)
The fact that she is soooooo easy-going makes it easier on everyone. She doesn't cry and throw fits. She. just. doesn't. - unlike three of my three other children who will remain nameless. ;) She gets disappointed more than mad. In fact, the only time I've seen her upset about anything it has been with Nick - and can I just say...she takes care of herself. ;>) Most of the time, if she's disappointed, she will just give you one of those looks with a quivering lower lip, but if you explain it to her and give her a quick hug, she's usually pretty good to go.
I'm not saying she's un-emotional, or even keeping her emotions in check...she constantly laughs with these huge belly laughs. The kind that are contagious. She just accepts things the way they come and decides to make the most out of it.
Its that easy-going attitude that I think has helped her come as far as she has come in the last two years. Maddie is just finishing up her first year of kindergarten...which, I need to say, was an absolutely brilliant move on our part. I'll fill you in more in her update post (which, rest assured, I have already started writing) but we now believe she has a solid foundation to have a great second-year kindergarten experience next year.
She knows all of her numbers, letters and sounds. She is writing very well now - much better than at the first of the year. She can sit still...well, still for her...during storytime and is no longer a class disruption. She's reading...she's slow, but she's doing it and she's a leader. Everyone seems to like her and responds well to her. :) There's SO much to tell you about Maddie - her language is exploding, she loves to sing, she's telling more about her day and explaining all kinds of things to us in words that make sense and we can understand, and she's not afraid of animals anymore!
Oh! And my little girl isn't a little girl anymore. She's six now. SIX!
I really need to get her post finished.

Spring means sports season
Anya just wrapped up her first basketball season and is now addicted. She's constantly outside playing ball with the guys...which is SO fun to watch! :) She also went to her first volleyball camp, which she loved. I think I have a little tom-girl on my hands. I'd say tom-boy, but Anya is still ALL girl! :)
Alek is getting ready to start his baseball season. He had tryouts today and did pretty welll, esepcially since he hasn't spent five minutes practicing since last fall. He is, however, pulling the same stuff he does everytime I sign him up for a sport. He's already saying 'I don't like it,' 'I don't want to do it,' 'I hate baseball.'
Now before you go getting all 'Well, don't make the boy do it then,' on me, let me just say he. does. this. every. time. EVERY. TIME. And then as soon as he finishes his first practice he's fine. Alek is incredibly shy...almost paralyzingly so. If we didn't sign him up for things, he would be perfectly content to stay at home...uninvolved in anything. But he loves playing sports, and once he gets on the team and starts making friends, (there is no team here in the Emerald City) he has a GREAT time. So we endure the complaining for a few weeks and wait to watch his first game sometime in April.
And we push, just a bit, to try to get him comfortable in getting OUT of his comfort zone. A fine line to walk...but we're getting better at it. ;)
Nick and Anya are also signed up for summer ball. Thankfully they don't start until May, so we have awhile yet before the craziness begins.
Speaking of craziness...
I've signed Maddie up to play softball this year - with the big kids. Shad thinks I'm nuts. Maybe...but Maddie loved her t-ball experience last year and since the kindergartners don't get to play much - they just bring them in after the first three outs, but everyone gets to bat, I think she'll be fine. Besides, she loves it it. Of course that means I'll have four kids on four different teams, playing all. summer. long. I think we'll be living out of Blue Mama by June. ;)

This and that
THE meeting went well.
What meeting you ask? Oh, the one I forgot to update you about. Maddie's little IEP meeting. You remember, the ONE where Mr. Mean, mean man was trying to reduce Maddie's services from two days to just one?
Weeeelll...
We brought the teacher, a few of her service providers, Shad and I and Mr. Mean, mean man into one room and after about 30 minutes of telling him a million and one reasons why it wouldn't work, he finally backed down.
Thank. Goodness.
Of course that doesn't mean we're safe. The district, like every other district in the country, has some SERIOUS budget issues and it looks like services will be cut SEVERELY next year. I'm not sure if they can legally get rid of everything, but...well, for now we're fine.

Hmmm....what else?
Oh yeah! I'm failing miserably at all of my New Year's resolution, except for number three! :) I'm doing great! The girls and I have quickly made it through two, count them, TWO Little House on the Prairie books so far this year and have brought the boys into the third book - Little Farmer Boy. Nick loves it...Alek doesn't. I think I've lost him. Sigh.
But Maddie is LOVING reading time. She asks every night if we get to read tonight. So I considering that a HUGE success. Kind of outweighs those four other little ones, doesn't it?
Well, at least that's what I keep telling myself.

Up and coming

Let's see..what's coming up this week?
Shad got us some tickets to a Bon Jovi concert this week. I'm psyched about that. In the 20+ years we've been married and the five years we dated before that we've never gone to a concert together.
Never.
Kind of pathetic, really.
Almost as pathetic as the visions I'm having of this shin-dig. I imagine I'm going to be packed shoulder-to-shoulder with bunch of 40-somethings brandishing 20 year old t-shirts, teased hair, blue eye shadow and acid wash jeans, half drunk out of their minds, reliving the glory days of high school.
Hmm....you know what's even more pathetic?! I don't have anything to wear! What does an almost 40-year-old wear to a concert of a former hair-band that she loved when she was in high school?
It certainly WON'T be a 20-year old t-shirt. I couldn't even fit into it even if Shad and I HAD gone to a concert two decades ago and picked one up!
Think I'll be out of place wearing my mom-jeans, white tennis and a sweater top!
AUGH! Decisions, decisions. :)

my little project

2010-03-01T16:03:00.000-08:00

I got some REALLY good news from a friend this last week. The book she's been working on, is getting picked up by Beacon Hill. Yes...THE Beacon Hill!
And guess what?!!!!!
She wants to use some of Maddie's story in her book!!!!!!! :) Just a little bit...the book is actually about remaining childless after battling with infertility, but she wants a taste of other perspectives as well.
Sooooooo....I get to write something that will actually be PUBLISHED in a REAL book!!!!!
Wooohooo! :)

P.S. I'll be sure to post a link once the thing is actually done and available for purchase...you know....just in case you feel so inclined. ;)

password protected 4

2010-02-15T19:40:00.000-08:00

I have a password protected post here.
If you don't have the password, please be sure to ask.

from a friend

2010-02-14T08:41:00.000-08:00

wo years ago, as Shad and I were on our way back to Ukraine for Maddie's court date, we met up with some bloggy friends at the JFK airport.
Actually, we first met them in Atlanta, but I'll let you read the post for the background.
We were on our way back to Maddie...they were on their way back to Ukraine to bring home their three new sons. We were strangers when we met...friends by the time we boarded the plane. Its amazing how sharing the adoption experience bonds you. ;)
Anyway...I saw this on Steve's blog today and just had to share it. Every time I hear this song, I get weepy. I was listening to it on Shad's IPod as we pulled out of Odessa, leaving Maddie for the first time. I still get teary just thinking about it. (I've even used it to make Maddie's 1 year video - which you've never seen, and I STILL can't get it to upload, which is even a longer story now a year later).
Steve did an amazing job of putting words and images together to describe the beauty of adoption. So many just don't understand what it is that makes international adoptive parents travel half-way around the world to find their children.
I think this video helps explain.
Sit back...grab your tissues...and open up your spirit. I guarantee you won't be the same. Blessings.

an open letter

2010-01-25T20:31:00.000-08:00

In Wyoming, Maddie was supposed to have access to the teacher for the deaf every day, during the entire day. I thought we were being quite generous in cutting it back to twice a week for 30 minutes...silly me.

Dear Mr. Mean, Mean Man...
Last year when we first met via that conference call, we didn't quite get off on the right foot.

I have apologized for that.

I was overly emotional - undoubtedly because I knew I was getting ready to uproot my family for the second time in a year, rip Maddie away from the utopia of school districts for special needs services and move my children back to the wonder that is the Emerald City.
And you were particularly snotty, condescending, paranoid and haughty.

I chalked it up to a really bad day. Certainly you hadn't quite made it to your overdose level of caffeine by 9 a.m., someone must have run over your little dog or little green aliens had to have beamed down and swiped your favorite pen off of your paper-pushing desk.
I was wrong. It really is just your lovely personality.
Let me just make this perfectly clear for you...
When I tell you that I am not going to sign off on an IEP change until I've had a chance to talk to Maddie's teacher, what I really mean to say is...I'm not going to sign off on an IEP change until I've had a chance to talk to Maddie's teacher.
I see where you could get confused. Things often get muddled when people have to repeat themselves!
Again, just so we're clear here... I. AM. NOT. GOING. TO. SIGN. OFF. ON. AN. IEP. CHANGE. UNTIL. I'VE. HAD. A. CHANCE. TO. TALK. TO. MADDIE'S. TEACHER!
Okay?
No matter how many times you call me and tell me that the changes are absolutely necessary because of budget constraints. No matter how many times you have your lackey call me to try to get my address so they can send me the forms. No matter how many times you tell me that the formal meeting I am requesting is not necessary.
I'M. NOT. SIGNING. Just so we're clear.
In Wyoming, Maddie was supposed to have access to the teacher for the deaf every day, during the entire day. I thought we were being quite generous in cutting it back to twice a week for 30 minutes...silly me.
Yes. Its the same amount of time.
No. I don't think the two plans are the same.
Quite frankly I'm not absolutely positive my FIVE YEAR OLD will not be able to sit still for an hour-long session from a teacher for the deaf. Nor am I certain that even if she COULD sit still for that hour that she could retain the information an entire week until her next session.
So...until we've had a chance to discuss this with her teachers, who share our concerns. AND...until we have had a chance for everyone to pow-wow about how this would affect Maddie. AND UNTIL...Shad and I have had a chance to mull over that information over and come to an independent conclusion away from the pressure of your omniscient wisdom...
WE. WILL. NOT. SIGN. OFF. ON. AN. IEP. CHANGE.
Period.
Just so we're clear.

my life is one, very long, seinfeld episode

2010-01-18T19:29:00.000-08:00

Sunflower Seeds is morphing...changing... evolving... OH WAIT! I don't believe in evolution!

Sometimes I feel like this blog has no identity. Its something about nothing...kind of like a really bad Seinfeld episode.
It used to have an identity.
When we brought Maddie home two years ago, I created Sunflower Seeds. It was supposed to chronicle Maddie's adjustment and our reorganization into a family of six. And it did that. But the content of Sunflower Seeds didn't really change much. I wrote cute stories about Maddie's language aquisition, posted awesome video of her first hearing moments and marked the months off with attachment updates.
Now that Maddie truly has melded into our family, become a seamless part of it, I find myself having a hard time coming up with blog material.
Don't worry...I'm not going anywhere, I'm just trying to figure out where the blog is going and what I'll be concentrating on.
Family life is almost non-existant. I've mentioned ad naseum about how by the time I get home from work in the evenings, I only have enough time to fix dinner and help kids with homework before its time to get them all ready for bed.
Not much time in that schedule for funny kid stories.
Work isn't bloggable.
The radio show is up and running, but so far we haven't had any callers and we're still working out the kinks.
Even the animals are just laying around sleeping and not providing any entertainment.
I'd use my witty writing skills to make something out of nothing, but have I mentioned lately that all my really good words are used up at work?
So....I'm waiting.
Sunflower Seeds is morphing...changing...evolving...
OH WAIT! I don't believe in evolution! Hmmm...a better word might be metamorphasis.
Anyway...I'm hanging out. Waiting for inspiration and posting as it strikes.
Please stand by.

a little of this...a lot of that

2010-01-14T19:07:00.000-08:00

Today I ate a bit of something called a bacon exlosion. Actually it was two bits...or maybe even three.

We're officially fourteen days into the new year and I have to admit I'm doing a REALLY bad job of keeping up with those resolutions.
I'm failing miserably at resolution number one - Keeping the blog updated. Ummm...yep. Not so much.
Number two - Losing weight. Ummm...again, not so much. Today I ate a bit of something called a 'bacon explosion'. Actually it was two bits...or maybe three. It was work related...really! A co-worker of mine is working on a story about bacon and we discovered a little restaurant in Kansas City that sells these things. At the time it seemed like a good idea to conduct some research and try one...and quite frankly it was delicious, but that's little comfort. I just know the accompanying calories do not care if eating the sausage and bacon roll was work-related. They're going to plant themselves on my hips anyway.
Sigh.
Number 4 - Being a better housekeeper. I would say that I am doing a better job at this except all you'd have to do is come over right now and take a peek inside the back door to know I'm lying my tail off. Yep...again, not so much. I'm just going to come clean. (Ha! Pun intended). My house is not clean. I have three baskets of clean laundry to be folded in my bedroom right now...but there are several dirty ones overflowing in the laundry room. This weekend. I promise. This weekend, I will get caught up.
Number 5 - The personal one - I haven't gotten very far on that one either. Still working on it...just not having much luck.
But there's good news. I'm doing great on number three! :)
I'm reading to the kids. Well, okay. I'm reading to the girls. The boys are bored out of their mind and I'm going to need to find a new book to read to them...Call of the Wild just isn't cutting it. But the girls and I wrapped up 'Little House in the Big Woods' tonight...and they're LOVING it. They asked me to read two chapters tonight so we could finish the book and start on 'Little House on the Prairie' tomorrow.
They're so excited...and I'm actually enjoying it myself. I forgot how good the books are...and as long as the girls are in their beds, they're not quite so squirmy and disinterested, which is nice. I think we're all discovering something with this one. For me...reading to, at least the girls, isn't so yucky. And for the girls...books are kind of cool.
Mission accomplished.
In other news, we celebrated the second anniversary of going to court to adopt Maddie on Jan. 10th. The second anniversary of Gotcha Day (or as we like to call it 'Family Day') is Jan. 24th. I'm working on the video that I promised you last year, except the drive with all of my pictures on it has bit the dust. I have most of them on this computer as well, but there are three or four that just MADE the video and they may be gone for good.
AUGH!
Anyway...working on getting that video done for you all...and myself, by the 24th. (Something to look forward to.)
Work is going well. Still busy...but I doubt that is ever going to change. I am still using up most of my words at work right now which means I have absolutely no desire to blog anymore...which stinks. I LOVE blogging. Really, I do. But what in the world am I going to blog about when I sit at my desk all day writing...and then when I get home all I have time to do is fix dinner, help the kids with homework, read to the girls and get everyone in bed?
Seriously.
I just re-read this entry and am half tempted to erase it, except I've already typed this one up and I don't have anything else rolling around in my brain. I'll try to think of something more clever to blog about next time.

С Рождеством Христовым!

2010-01-07T06:37:00.000-08:00

Just dropping in a moment to wish all of you С Рождеством Христовым!

mulligan!

2010-01-04T17:40:00.000-08:00

...the wildest animals we have around here are the possum that scrounge around for cat food in the garage.

Do-over!
Re-start!
Mulligan!
I'm only four days into my New Year, New Me campaign and I've already failed on two out of the five resolutions. Number one and number two.
*Sigh*
That's pretty pathetic. I have been eating more than ever - thanks to a really sweet case of PMS. Love that stuff. And the Wii has been woefully silent for the last two days.
And as far as updating the blog more often - you all are witnessing the fact that I'm not doing such a great job of that, so I won't even try to make up some tale about wild-eyed third graders. :)
Good news though! I started number resolution number three tonight! The boys and I read two chapters of 'The Call of the Wild.' Now, I have to say - I'm not sure I want to keep going with that one. So far I'm bored out of my mind, the boys are uninterested and its quite violent. The last thing I want is to bring more blood and guts into my boys' lives. I already have a hard enough time keeping them from wrestling in the house and using vacuum hoses as 0ozies.
The girls and I read a couple of chapters of 'Little House in the Big Woods.' We're at the part where springtime is coming to the Big Woods and Pa took the pelts to town to sell. Too bad spring isn't coming to the Emerald City any time soon. I'm about sick of the fri-gid temps...and I'm one of winter's biggest fans! Of course the bear Ma and Laura ran into in the barnyard doesn't sound like much fun...but then again the wildest animals we have around here are the possum that scrounge around for cat food in the garage and the occasional wildcat that someone sees down by the river. And the river is a long ways from here...so I think I'm okay in longing for spring.
Oh! I almost forgot to tell you...
Anya had surgery today. Nothing serious, just a couple of ear tubes. She flunked her hearing test, yet again. And then SURPRISE flunked her test at the ENT...so he suggested tubes.
Part of me is glad we won't have to deal with this again for a couple of years...the other part of me wishes we could figure out a more permanent solution to this problem. She doesn't seem to be outgrowing ear infections (although there is the possibility - in my mind at least - that it has something to do with her growth delay) so wouldn't it make sense to try to come up with a more permanent solution? You know - something along the lines of allergy testing or medication to take during a certain time of the year - or SOME. THING?
*sigh*
Maybe by the time the tubes fall out she'll have had a sudden growth spurt and all of this will be a distant memory. At least we know the tubes will work. The last time she had them, she didn't have an ear infection for two years! :)
She's had three in the last nine weeks...in different ears...with medication the entire time.
First day back to school (for everyone but Anya) went well. Maddie's teacher said she was a bit loud - but well behaved. That's good to hear. I STILL owe you all an update AND I'm reworking the video that I did last year for Maddie's one year anniversary. Look for it toward the end of the month. Can you believe its almost been two years ALREADY?!
I can't. But one thing I can believe is how well Maddie is fitting in. It's happened with all four of the kids - at the two year mark it suddenly seems like they've been with us forever. I barely remember a time without her...and the same has become true with her, which is AWESOME! :)
I'm back to work tomorrow...well, actually I did some work from home in the last 48 hours. I finally finished up that article on the family from Ukraine. It didn't turn out as well as I had hoped in my mind...but my boss seemed happy with it, so I guess that's what matters. I'll post it at some point after it prints.
Hmm...what else? I think that's it for now and since I really don't have an incredibly pithy way to sign off I'll just say - I'll work on getting back on track with those resolutions. Who knows, maybe I'll actually getting something posted on here two days in a row - and maybe I'll be able to walk past that cookie jar tomorrow and not even be tempted.

Yeah. Right.

holidays, resolutions and all that jazz

2010-01-01T20:21:00.000-08:00

I'm thinking 2010 has a nice ring to it. And as Anne of Green Gables was wont to say, 'it's a new day - with no mistakes in it yet.'

HAPPY New Year!
Whew! I'm so glad we're into a new year. I don't know about you, but that last one was a doozie. I'm thinking 2010 has a nice ring to it. And as Anne of Green Gables was wont to say, 'it's a new day - with no mistakes in it yet.'
Jan 1, 2010 dawned this morning bright, clear and bitterly cold...but I'll take it. 2009 just had too much baggage in it. ;)
We had a really nice quiet day. A big change from the last couple of weeks where I've felt like I was playing nurse in the pediatric ward or the mad hatter running around late for something.
What? I didn't tell you that after our last battle with the stomach flu we had the joy of round two. Sorry about that. Turns out there was a second, equally virulent bug circulating our community - and we caught both - within two weeks! Thankfully the worst seems to be over. Everyone...and I do mean every. one. has had their fun and we're all back to normal - whatever that is.
Since we have finally kicked the erpies, I made our traditional New Year's Day dinner today - Russian/Ukranian fare. This year I tried my hand at Farshirovanniy Rulet (stuffed meat loaf), deruni (fried potatoes cakes) and borscht (a really easy, and not-so-beaty recipe from the Ukranian couple I interviewed a couple of weeks ago and should really start writing that story about. ;)
It turned out pretty well, all the kids liked it except for Nick who doesn't like any. thing. at. all. The only fly in the ointment is Shad is on call and will be through the New Year's weekend...which means we probably won't see him much. The clinic is technically closed tomorrow, but farmers don't seem to get the memo - or to care. They will call with the most mundane cattle work - stuff that can ABSOLUTELY wait until the next work day, but won't wait on THEIR timetable.
Add to that the lovely owner who feeds their pet an horderve with the toothpick still in it, the really smart person that leaves chocolate where their dog can get to it and your run of the mill cat lover that just can't seem to wait until Monday to have their feline's furballs taken care of and well, you can imagine what the next few days are going to be like.
Sigh.
Despite the erpies, we really have had some fun over the last couple of weeks.
We got home two days ago from a quick trip out to Colorado. Those who follow me on Facebook and Twitter know we made a quick trip out to Colorado on the Sunday after Christmas. We were going to head out on the 26th, but there was that whole Christmas blizzard thing. We weren't going to go at all, but after a call from Shad's parents, we decided it would be best to go. Things have been a little rough lately and we thought a quick visit would do everyone a bit of good.
And it did.
We spent two days just hanging out with the grandparents and cousins..playing games, eating and chatting. Not much excitement, but good times anyway.
On the 12 hour drive home I had the time to sit and think about 2010 and the changes I want to make in my life. I'm really not much of a resolution keeper, so I typically try to stay as far away from them as I can...HOWEVER, there really are some things that need to be changed. So I'm going to resolve to try and change them. For the record (and so you can help keep me accountable) here they are...

I resolve to...

1. Do a better job of keeping this blog updated. I'm going to try a daily challenge for the month of January to get me kick-started. I'm going to try to post something - no matter how small. We'll see how that works. I'm also going to be reaching out to my bloggy friends a bit more. I'm already reading - really I am. I'm just not commenting as much as I would like. So rest assured, you'll be hearing from me this year. And if you're NOT?! Let me know. Leave me a comment, and I'll drop by. ;>)

2. Lose some weight - I'm not putting a number on there so there's not as much pressure if I fail miserably. I just know I need to do something - and I may head to a doctor to try and help. When it comes to weight loss, I have a horrible sense of self-control. So making this one happen may take some professional assistance. Joining a gym isn't an option (we live too far away), I don't have time to even head out for a walk right now, so I'm going to try to change the one thing I can - what I put in my mouth. I'm also taking a cue from my bloggy friend, Elaine and starting my own 300 days of Wii. She didn't issue it as a challenge, but I'm taking it anyway. It will give me the added benefit of more time with the kids too. ;)

3. Read to the kids every night. I'm about to make a BIG confession. I HATE reading to my kids. I KNOW! It's terrible...and its really surprised me. I LOVE to read...you would think I would LOVE to read to the kids. But I don't. I don't mind it in short snippets, but I can't STAND reading the same books over and over. Shad's not much better...he doesn't like reading at all and the kids have to practically sit on him to get a book read to them. Thankfully, they're all old enough we can tackle some chapter books...actually, they've been old enough for awhile, and I STILL couldn't work up the energy to read to them. But I'm going to do it this year. I'M. GOING. TO. At this point none of my kids like to read...which is a big red, 'YOU'VE FAILED' flag. I'm hoping I can capture their attention every night for at least 15 minutes of some awesome story. I'm just going to need to make it the same book for all of them, all at the same time, because if I try to read four chapters out of four books each night I may go MAD! I've actually read a few before, I managed to stumble my way through Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with Nick and Alek. And its taken me most of the year to get through Little House on the Prairie with the girls...but NO MORE! I'm going to do better this year. I'm going to read a book a month!
How's THAT for a resolution?!!!

4. Be a better housekeeper. I don't know what happened in the last couple of years, but my normally tidy house has become a trash pit. Okay, not quite a trash pit, but I CAN'T keep up - actually it may be more along the line of 'am not taking the time' to keep up. I know how to clean, I'm just not doing it as much as I need to. And its not like the kids aren't helping me. They're awesome helpers...its just that ever since bringing Maddie home, I just can't stay ahead of things. There's just something about adding child number four that REALLY throws you into a spin, you know? Anyway...a better housekeeper. Yep. That's going to be me.

5. And finally...I have a more personal one that I'm posting here. That's one I have high hopes for. I think making that change will make a big change in all areas of my life. Especially in regards to resolution 1, 2, 3 and 4! :)

merry christmas and while you're at it, can you bring in some firewood

2009-12-25T18:41:00.000-08:00

To all our bloggy friends, we want to send out the Merriest of Christmas wishes. We hope you're staying as warm as we are this holiday season!

We had a wonderful Christmas.
Well, except for that whole midwest blizzard thing, but even that wasn't such a bad thing. We just stayed in side...the six of us...opened presents, ate lots of food, watched movies and played with toys. Fun stuff!

We didn't even lose our satellite or electricity so we were able to watch the Bolshoi's performance of the Nutcracker.
Not that the boys were paying attention. They were too busy playing with the remote controlled this and the wall climbing that.
Shad ventured out twice today to get more firewood. We kept the fire going all day...you know...because of that pesky little two-day blizzard. ;) The kids and I kept complaining he was keeping it only a few degrees cooler than an inferno in here...but he didn't want to hear about it...so we're sweltering.
So much for the kids wearing their new pajamas to bed tonight! :)
One nice thing about a massive snow storm...you are guaranteed to have a white Christmas! :) We have a TON of snow...I'd say we're working on 18 inches, give or take a few. We have a lot of pretty deep drifts - you know, because of that whole blizzard thing.
Our trip to Colorado has been called off because most of the roads around us, if they're not already closed - should be. Actually, I'll be surprised if we can just get out of the driveway for church on Sunday. And we have Blue Mama - the 4x4.
The Emerald City's snow plow crew has been working hard at it, but those plows are just no match for the wind. On Shad's two trips to the shed for wood, a half an hour after he shoveled his way to the shed, the path was completely blown shut. The same can be said for the roads. Our neighbor's car is almost completely snowed under.
I'm just hoping we can take advantage of it here pretty soon and do some sledding.
Tomorrow will probably be a bit more of the same...except for maybe some more laundry added in there, just to spice things up a bit.
To all our bloggy friends, we want to send out the Merriest of Christmas wishes. We hope you're staying as warm as we are this holiday season! :)

she gets it

2009-12-20T15:55:00.000-08:00

Any time she saw other homes with lights on them she would say how 'boo-ti-full' they were and how they looked like "Kwisma-tie."

I think Maddie is starting to get the whole Christmas thing.
Of course, you would think an almost 6-year-old would have gotten it a long time ago, but while she did enjoy Christmas last year, I don't think she really understood what the fun was all about.
Emotionally she was still around three years old, the language barrier was huge and when you factor in her limited orphanage exposure to Christmas I have a feeling she may have just thought it was just one big party.
This year is completely different. Emotionally she's growing up (I would say she's maybe only six months to a year behind now), her English is great and she's been asking about Christmas since Halloween.
At first I thought it was because Anya's birthday was right around then and her brothers had told her she had to wait until after Christmas for HER birthday.
But then, she starting asking around Thanksgiving if we could make the house into "Kwisma-tie." Any time she saw other homes with lights on them she would say how 'boo-ti-full' they were and how they looked like "Kwisma-tie." Holiday movie promos on TV would prompt questions about Christmas-time. Everything was "Kwisma-tie."
Finally, a few weeks ago Shad and the kids set up the tree and Maddie was in Heaven. It was all so 'puuu-wittty,' and 'booo-ti-full.'
The girl was in awe...and was totally in the Christmas spirit.
Last night while we were on our annual Christmas light seeing tour, we went through a particularly beautiful display. The big town just a few miles away from the Emerald City has a great display in one of their HUGE parks. The entrance has a tunnel of lights, displays are spread throughout the park and hot chocolate and kettle corn are sold on the side of the road.
Its a feast for the eyes for these Christmas-lovers.
Anyway...as we were going through the park, we were talking about Santa, and about Frosty, and about all of the other characters on display, when I started thinking that I needed to start talking about the real reason for Christmas.

So I asked Maddie... 'Maddie, do you know why we celebrate Christmas?'

'Oh yet (yes) Mama," she said. "It Jesus Birf-day."

That did this mama's heart good.

She gets it.

Erp, swamps, anniversaries, mean people and confessions

2009-12-18T09:28:00.000-08:00

Not five minutes into the game, Maddie said she wasn't feeling well...and then immediately erped all over the guy in front of her.

So here's the story...
A band of crazed ~~third-graders~~ terrorists kidnapped me and took me to a ~~shopping mall~~ remote desert island where they tortured me by making me drink large ~~cups of hot chocolate~~ amounts of sleeping pill laced kool-aid which put me into a massive ~~sugar~~ coma.
I finally escaped by ~~buying them lots of Christmas presents~~ secretly building a raft and, in pure MacGyver style, snuck out in the middle of the night, blowing up the entire camp using just a shoe string and 10-year-old piece of bubble gum.
WHAT?! You don't believe that? Comon'! Every last word of it is ~~not~~ true.
Fine. Maybe you'll believe this...

Erp, erp and more erp
I'm home with a sick kid today. Shad took all four kids to a basketball game last night while I was at a meeting (I'll tell you about it in a minute). Not five minutes into the game, Maddie said she wasn't feeling well...and then immediately erped all over the guy in front of her.
And Shad.
And herself.
And the basketball floor.
Fun times.
Glad I wasn't there.
He no sooner got the kids home and she erped again...and again and again. Sorry to be so graphic, but you have to understand this isn't something we deal with much. Thankfully our kids all have stomachs of steel. Not much comes out of them, so erping is greeted with a great deal of consternation (I love that word. ;)
By the time I made it home she was resting comfortably in the middle of the living room floor on a sleeping bag. Sleeping in her bed would require too far of a hike to the bathroom...with Shad camped out on the couch. Reason 2,584 why I married the right guy. He voluntarily slept on the couch to keep an eye on her.
Oh, and 2,585...he cleaned everyone up and did the laundry too!
He's a keeper.
Maddie is doing much better this morning, but rather than risk another episode at school, I'm keeping her home. Besides, its a good excuse for staying home and getting some much needed stuff done. I'll probably end up paying for it this weekend with a Saturday or Sunday work day. Oh well.
Meanwhile, Maddie is devastated. She LOVES school and watching the other three tromp through the school doors this morning carrying presents for their teachers proved to be too much. My even-tempered Maddie cried uncontrollably until we got home and I found her favorite episode of Blue's Clue's on the DVR.
She is now contentedly sitting in Shad's recliner watching Wonder Pets...holding her baby, wrapped in my favorite throw and nursing a large watered-down glass of apple juice.

Swamped, snowed under, up to my gills
Have I mentioned I've been a little swamped at work lately? Oh, that's right! I've been too swamped to write! Sorry about that.
Back in August I had this crazy idea... 'Hey kids! Why don't I take a week off in between Christmas and New Year's Day so we can hang out and have some fun.'
The children rejoiced. I put in my request.
The problem is I forgot that I don't work in a normal profession. In order to take any time off, I have to do all of my work before I leave. That means finding time to write a week's worth of stories prior to Christmas Eve. You wouldn't think that would be so tough, would you? Especially given that I had four months to do it in, but somehow I've managed to make it darn near impossible. In addition to my usual three stories a week, I also have two magazine articles and another two articles that are due right when I come back...and then I have my stories for Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the weekend as well.
So instead of just a weeks' worth...its more like a week and a half...and then some.
For the last week and a half I've been turning in a story every day. Which, again, doesn't sound like much, but they are three-source stories...and at 20-25 inches a pop requires a great deal of work. It usually takes me at least two days to track down sources, interview them, transcribe the interview and then write my masterpiece.
I haven't been writing any masterpieces lately. ;)
Thankfully, its almost over. I have two stories that I'm going to need to write this weekend...and then two a day for the next three days after that. By Wednesday I'll be a shadow of my former self...but I'll be off work for 10 days. That has to count for something...right?
Right?!!!

Two years ago today...
Well, actually it's more like next Tuesday, but by next week I'll be so busy writing I won't have much time for blogging. So...
Two years ago ago next Tuesday, we met Maddie for the first time. I know I say it all the time, but WHERE did the time go?!
Honestly? It seems like she's always been with us. We're almost at the halfway point when it comes to having her with us longer than she was in the orphanage...its a day I need to pinpoint. I'd really like to mark the day in some way. It will probably be around the time she turns eight *sigh* which isn't so far away. Maddie turns six in just a few short weeks.
Speaking of time...I need to give you a Maddie update...maybe even with a video. I'll see if I can find the camera and get something put up this weekend. You NEED to see how far this girl has come in the last two years. She's growing and changing right before our very eyes. I'll give you a more complete update soon, but let me give you a little tidbit by saying in when I talked to her teacher the other night at her music program, Mrs. B said Maddie has made HUGE strides this year. Socially she is doing MUCH better...academically she's doing good...and her behavior is a trillion times better. Okay...the trillion is my word, but you get the idea.
She's still going to need that extra year of Kindergarten. There are still too many holes. For instance...Maddie is able to recognize all of her letters and knows how to make each sound, but for some reason doesn't understand the concept that those letters are used to make anything.
I think we're going to have to double our reading efforts around here.

They're at it again...
Speaking of school...they Emerald City school district is up to their old tricks, again.
Actually its not so much the school as it is the county's education co-op.
In that same conversation with Mrs. B she mentioned Maddie's time with the teacher for the deaf had been cut back to one day a week instead of two.
Ahem...Why hadn't I been informed of this?!
She seemed truly surprised I had heard absolutely nothing...and had certainly not signed OFF on anything.
So. I have a call into Mean, Mean Man to find out what in the world is going on.
Let's see if he calls back, shall we? Anyone want to take any bets?

This is where I admit I may be in over my head
I've been holding out on you.
Sorry about that.
Drumroll, please...
I'm a blog-radio talk show host.
See? I told you I had been holding out on you.
A few months ago I was sitting around with a couple of friends, chatting over a cup of coffee...well, technically I had a glass of water - not being a coffee drinker and all...and we were having such a good time one of us joked that we should have our own talk show.
And then one of us got serious about it.
And for once it wasn't me.
She looked into it and wouldn't you know it? There's a free blog-radio site where we could host a weekly show FOR FREE!
So we took the plunge. Over the past few weeks we've been practicing. And believe me...need the practice. But we're having a ton of fun.
So...here's where you come in.
If you want to join us for all the fun, you can check us out at a few locations...

Blog - The Fresh Cup
Twitter - @thefreshcup
Facebook - The Fresh Cup

Please add us as as friends on Facebook, follow us on Blogger and tweet with us on Twitter.
And we'd love to have you listen to us live on our radio show at BlogTalkRadio.com here. You can even call in and join the show!
Crazy, huh?!
I KNOW!
The last few weeks we've actually been broadcasting, but we haven't publicized it at all. I'm letting you in on the secret because we need the feedback and we'd love to actually have an audience and maybe a person or two who will call in.
We're still pretty rough...but practice makes perfect, right? And we're having SO. MUCH. FUN.
The next LIVE broadcast will be on Tuesday at 9:30 p.m. CST. Of course, you don't have to wait until then. You can listen to our archived shows. (If you listen to last night's show, wait a few minutes after you press play...we had some technical difficulties - actually it was more like Tami-has-lost-her-mind-and-can't-remember-anything-technical-she-learned-in-college, difficulties. ;)
So what do you say? Why don't you give us a listen?

bah! humbug!

2009-12-06T18:35:00.000-08:00

If I see another box mummy wrapped in packing tape with five labels written and crossed out in black magic marker in my lifetime, it will be too soon!

That's kind of how I'm feeling this year.
I can't get in the spirit of Christmas at ALL...and I can't seem to get anyone to cooperate in forcing myself to get in the mood.
Usually what helps me, is getting all the holiday stuff put up around the house. You know - wreaths, nutcrackers, thousands of little snowmen, a table runner or two, candles ad naseum and aaaah...yes, the tree.
This year, its not happening.
Shad is on strike. He refuses to bring up the stuff, until I go through the boxes that were still sitting around the living room.
YES!!! Six months after moving BACK to Kansas, I still had boxes sitting in the living room. What of it?! I am using the excuse that since starting my new (old) job, I haven't had the time. But six months after the move, that excuse was getting as stale as a month old donut.
The truth? Moving twice in 10 months burned me out on packing and emptying boxes. If I see another box mummy wrapped in packing tape with five labels written and crossed out in black magic marker in my lifetime, it will be too soon!
I don't WANT to unpack another box. I don't WANT to and you can't make me.
Yep. That pretty much sums up our arguments over the last couple of days. Well...I guess you'd have to include a great deal of whining on my part about how unfair his strike is and him reminding me that he pretty much moved us back from Wyoming himself, because I was too busy feeling sorry for myself. And then him having the audacity to say that all he's asking is that I unpack the 10 boxes in the living room.
Sigh.
He's so unfair! ;>)
Finally, I gave up on Shad. He wasn't going to see things my way, so I had Alek, Anya and Nick help me push the boxes to the dining room - so it would LOOK like I had gone through them, and then took Alek with me down to the basement I lovingly refer to as the 'dungeon'.
Our mission was to get the Christmas stuff out.
I can count on one hand the number of times I have been down in that basement. Its more of a cellar if you ask me, but according to my Facebook friends, its technically a basement because it has a cement floor.
Sooo...Alek and I decended the scary, narrow and way too rickety stairs into the bowels of our 150 year old house.
Yuck! It was not any better than I had imagined.
We quickly found the boxes, got them out of the basement, carried them back up the scary, narrow and way too rickety stairs and plopped them down in the middle of my living room.
And that's where they will stay...until I can find the time to get it all put up.
Which SHOULD happen sometime this week...I think.
Let's see...Monday night I have a hair appointment, and preparing for Ladies' Tea at church. Tuesday night is the Ladies' Tea, which Kedzie and I are both host a table this year - fun stuff. Wednesday night is AWANA - enough said. Thursday is the kids' school Christmas program and the practice for a new project that I need to tell you all about. And then there's Friday...aaaah...maybe Friday.
Yea. Right.

password protected 3

2009-12-03T18:42:00.000-08:00

I have a password protected post published here.
If you don't have the password, be sure to ask.

we needed a lot more than cheese

2009-11-26T18:32:00.000-08:00

Do you know how hard it is to get six people to look good in a picture all at the same time?

It's nearly impossible. Especially when four of them are 11 and under!

Getting our family pictures taken is like pulling teeth - a long and painful process. And this time was no exception. A decent picture usually requires an act of Congress and a miracle from above.

This time it didn't require either,...but we came pretty darn close.

You can almost see the level of cooperation in their faces. Alek and Anya did great...Nick was on the fence, but Maddie wanted nothing to do with sitting still. It wasn't until the photographer started the kids' only photos that she warmed up - and even then, not until after Shad and I left the room. ;)

Oh well. Its a decent picture of the six of us, especially since I forgot about our appointment until 20 minutes before we were supposed to be there. Hence, the mismatched and less than stellar photo outfits.

Thankfully, it will be just fine for the church directory. And we're set for another year.

Whew!

move over Paula Dean

2009-11-24T05:45:00.000-08:00

According to the experts, I am a great cooker who knows how to make a mean brownie mix, has a cookbook...and could possibly beat her up.

'Mom is the best cooker in the world,' Nick said last night as he was picking at his supper.
Somehow he was convinced it was the best supper ever, despite the fact that it was taking forever for him to eat his stew.
'Nuh, uh,' said the ever practical Alek. 'Paula Deen is. She made a cookbook.'
'Mom has a cookbook,' Nick argued. 'Mom could beat her up.'
'Yea,' Anya agreed. 'Mom's brownies are good.' (They're a mix)
'Yea,' Maddie said. 'Mama good.'
So there you have it. According to the experts, I am a great cooker who knows how to make a mean brownie mix, has a cookbook...and could possibly beat her up.
Move over Paula Dean. ;>)

as soon as I open my mouth...

2009-11-23T16:27:00.000-08:00

the other shoe drops.
Alek is sick.
Well, I'm not sure, exactly, HOW sick he is - but he was sick enough that the school nurse called around noon to inform me he was complaining of a headache and had a low-grade fever.
'Do you want me to give him some medicine,' she asked.
I talked to Alek to get an idea of how bad it was. He assured me with some medicine he would be fine...so a dose of ibuprofen it was.
An hour later she called again. He was still complaining of the headache - the fever hadn't gone anywhere, he was looking flushed and was asking for someone to come get him.
So...in spite of the fact that I had a deadline looming in three hours AND I had just finished the interview right before lunch AND I had NO idea how the story was going to come together AND I knew there was no way I was going to get any writing done with a sick kid at home...I drove the 30 minutes to the school to get him.
By the time he came into the office, he was just fine.
Little stinker. But somehow despite the many, many distractions this afternoon, I did get the story done...with 30 minutes to spare.
That, in and of itself, may be a miracle - I don't know - I may have to look it up in the Bible. Is there anything in there about God performing the impossible for a Mom with a sick kid, who needs to meet a deadline and needs all four kids to behave themselves and not interrupt her long enough so she can finish an article so she wouldn't get fired?
Hmm...probably not.
But I'm still thinking its a miracle.

quick takes to catch you up

2009-11-22T21:03:00.000-08:00

By the time Christmas comes around, we're going to NEED that week off so we can decontaminate.

H
ellooooo? Anybody out there? My name is Tami and I'm the author of this-here blog. Its been TWO weeks since my last post and I'm afraid that every reader I've ever had has run for greener, and more entertaining pastures.
Just in case there are a few of them left, though, I thought I would put up some quick takes to let them know I AM still alive and thinking of them. And I promise, promise, promise that I won't let two weeks go by again, without blogging.
Bad, bad, blogger!

1. I know this comes as a big shock, but I've been just a tad busy lately. I don't think I've ever been this far behind in blogging. Not even during our adoption trip and two moves. Some of it has been work-related...some of it not. All of it time-consuming and otherwise energy draining. I'm hoping I can keep it in check over the next month of so...but no promises. I'm hoping to take a week off at Christmas so I can stay home with the kids and in 'feature reporter world' that means I have to write all my stories ahead of time. UGH!

2. Four doctors office visits and five prescriptions later, I think we're starting to feel a little better around here. Of course that's assuming that no one catches anything else that anyONE else has had in the last two weeks. Every child has been sick...Shad has been sick...I'm not allowing myself to be sick...and everyone has had something different! As you know Alek had strep - so far no collateral casualties. Shad had the massive migraine - I've kept him drugged up on caffeine to prevent a repeat. Anya had yet ANOTHER ear infection...hence the failed repeat hearing screening that I forgot to tell you about. Nick complained of a headache and being dizzy the other night but thankfully he was able to sleep through the night and woke up the next morning without any other issues - keeping an eye on him. We thought Maddie had pink eye last week, but turns out it may have just been a nasty cold. Just in case though, we're following through with the drugs. In the meantime, she developed a pretty good fever on Saturday and another seal-like cough. As of today her fever is gone...and the cough is now productive, so off to school she goes tomorrow. By the time Christmas comes around, we're going to NEED that week off so we can decontaminate. UGH.

3. I just realized its been months since I gave you a Maddie update. I think its about time. I'm putting it on the agenda for this week. Let's see if I can follow through. To say she's doing great really is an understatement...but I'll elaborate later.

4. Job is going well. I'm writing more than I ever thought possible, which I guess is a good thing. The only problem is it is definitely affecting my blogging, which I hate. I love to blog. I need to blog. I want to post about our daily lives...and I adore the feedback I get. I've got to find a way to get back my blogging mojo.

5. Tonight I embarassed my children. Horribly. Hee-hee. ;) It was Family Night at church, which means everyond gets together for a big Thanksgiving dinner and then each Sunday School class puts some sort of 'act' together to entertain everyone else. Maddie's class did a line-up of fishing songs - you know, like 'Peter, James and John in a Sailboat', 'Fisher's of men' and 'God made the fishies in the deep blue sea." Cute stuff. Nick's class did the traditional say a verse and sing a song, number. Anya's class did a skit about John the Baptist. Alek's class had a spitting contest skit. And then there was me.
My class decided to add add something 'beautiful' to the church. We worked long and hard to bring a fountain into the santuary. After all, we have put in new carpet recently, painted and had other 'beautifying' projects. So we all dressed up in togas, put a faux wreath in our hair, and carried a pitcher of water on our shoulders all the while doing the 'wedding walk' down the aisle.
When we got to the stage, we formed a circle, one of us got in the middle (thankfully, not me), took a drink of water from our pitcher and then spit it up in the air.
A more beautiful 'fountain' I have never seen.
Of course, I giggled so hard through the whole thing that our fountain was a little lopsided.
And NO! There are no pictures! :)

6. I'm working on a post for the mirror site. I have a few things I need feedback on but for one reason or another don't feel comfortable putting up on here. I'll let you know when it's ready.

7. Did you know...Mucinex is actually a fancy brand name for guafinacin (spelling not guaranteed) - a drug Shad gives horses when he wants to knock them out. Strange, but true. I find this kind of stuff out ALL. THE. TIME. Probably more often than I want, quite frankly. When he informed me of the alternative use tonight all I could think of was that I had given my youngest daughter a horse drug to help control her cough. Images of large glass bottles of drugs and massive syringes flew through my mind. There are days when I wonder if the DVM thing was a good idea. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

so this is why I never became a doctor...

2009-11-10T19:26:00.000-08:00

FALSE ALARM EVERYONE! Alek doesn't have the swine flu!

Because I can't diagnose stuff to save my or anyone else's life...
Well, THAT and then there's that whole fear of needles thing.
Anyway...just popping in to say 'FALSE ALARM EVERYBODY!" Alek doesn't have the swine flu...and Shad's clear too. Turns out Alek has strep...which, as odd as it sounds, I was thankful to hear. He's been on antibiotics for 24 hours and headed back to school this morning well on the road to recovery.
Shad's headache continued to get worse after I last posted - and then he ended up losing his lunch (or in this case supper). Turns out? He was going through caffeine withdrawal. My wonderful husband, unbeknownst to me, started drinking caffeinated pop again a few months ago. Since I didn't know, I bought him a different brand of pop (caffeine free) on my most recent shopping trip. He didn't notice the difference and well...went through detox! :)
I have no sympathy. Well, okay. I did while he was urping...but afterwards, nah. He knew what he was getting into when he went back on that stuff.
Of course, our medical adventures weren't over with just these two.
Anya decided to get in on the action last night. She started complaining of an ear ache. Knowing EXACTLY what it was, we drugged her up, sent her to school and then Shad took her in to the doctor this afternoon.
Sure enough. An ear infection.
Sigh.
Problem is...our health insurance changed their prescription policy a few months back and now we have to meet a deductible before they start paying anything. Usually its not that big of a deal. Everybody has those $4 prescriptions anymore. But since she was just on an antibiotic for an ear infection they decided not to give her the amoxicillan this time. The new drug? $104!
Unfortunately we can't do that and eat this week, so I get to call the doctor tomorrow morning to see if there are any other options.
Oh! And on the medical front...the school district sent a note home today saying they will be offering H1N1 shots to all their students next week. If we want one for the kids, we're supposed to sign and return a form.
Something bothers me about that...and I'm not exactly sure what.
Part of it, I'm sure, is that I like being there for my kids when they get a shot. Shots aren't fun. They should be able to have their mom there, if needed...especially Ellie.
The other problem is much more undefinable. I think its that I like being there WITH my kids with they get a shot. I don't like the idea of someone giving my kid a shot without me being there...ya know?!
And then there's the whole - mass, government-endorsed, inoculation thing. I get my kids shots...Shad and I consider it our responsibility as parents. (We are NOT going to have a discussion here about inoculations people!) but I'm not comfortable with the shots are being provided through the schools.
Schools are for education...not for health management.
Anyway...I'm still wading my way through what I'm thinking about all of this, but in the meantime we have to have the forms back in by Friday. I imagine we'll go ahead and get the shots. Its nearly impossible to get four kids rounded up to go to the doctor to get a shot...besides, the shots are free...and THAT's something I'm all for.
Especially when antibiotics cost $104!!!

virus 2...humans 0

2009-11-08T15:48:00.000-08:00

My big guy never gets sick, so when he gets knocked down by something I know he's really ill.

The pigs have moved in...made themselves at home...and are taking us out, one by one.
Alek was first. He got up in the middle of the middle of the night with a fever of 101. I gave him some medicine and settled him down on our bedroom floor, just so I could keep a better eye on him. He slept the rest of the night - although I didn't. My big guy NEVER gets sick, so when he gets knocked by down by something I know he's REALLY ill.
When he got up this morning, the fever was up to 102.
Sigh.
I really probably should have taken him in to Urgent Care this morning, but honestly the fever was pretty well under control at that point and his only other complaint was a sore throat, so I decided since I had a built-in babysitter in Shad, I had better head to the office (yes, on a Sunday) so I could get SOME work done . I figure if I've put in the time, its less sick time I'll have to take this week (once again, I'm thankful for a supervisor who has children...and understands). I brought home all of the stuff I'll need to work at home this week, if necessary, but working at home is NEVER very productive.
By the time I got home, Alek's fever was up to 103. Thankfully, it comes down with medication...although this time it also took a luke-warm shower.
His temp has been hanging out around 99.7 ever since. Let's hope it stays that way.
Meanwhile, Shad started slowing down.
He ran that minor temp last night, but honestly? He runs minor temps All. The. Time. I don't know what it is about the guy, but you can look at him wrong and he'll spike to 101. Crazy stuff.
Anyway...
I figured it was his bi-monthly fever...but what do you know, this afternoon he crashed on the couch with chills, headache and the start of a sore throat.
Great.
So. Should we start taking bets on whose next? So far, no one else has symptoms. I am a bit run down, but I think its just from a restless night. I'm off to head to bed early to try and cut this pig thing off at the pass.

heeeeere piggy, piggy, piggy

2009-11-07T19:19:00.000-08:00

There's nothing official, but Alek was looking a bit peaked tonight.
He was laying around on the couch, eating next to nothing, had red rings around his eyes and was just overall feeling kind of icky.
So far no fever...keeping our fingers crossed.
Shad on the other hand is running a mild fever.
Security may have been breached...we may be under attack...will keep you updated.

who's brilliant idea was this anyway?

2009-11-05T21:13:00.000-08:00

Its just like her to come up with brilliant traditions like stuffing as many birthday balloons in the birthday kid's room as she can...and then for it to come back and kick her in the tail a few years later - like when she has FOUR kids and has to come up with enough hot air to fill those darn balloons every three months!

I'm already flailing...
Going under...
Sinking fast!
I have somehow written myself into a HUGE corner at work and for the life of me I have NO idea how I'm going to survive...let alone get ANYTHING up on this blog this weekend.
I have two stories due tomorrow...one on Monday and two on Tuesday.
BIG stories. Its not like they're little ones I can just blow off and do only my regularly scheduled work day. Oh NO! I will probably be working on them all weekend long.
In between, of course, the laundry, housework and whatever special treat Anya has planned for us. Birthday people in our house get to pick a special place to go to for lunch on their birthday. Since Anya's was during the week, we have to do it this weekend.
Sigh.
Whoever came up with that family tradition should really start thinking about the long-term ramifications of her bright ideas. Its just like her to come up with brilliant traditions like stuffing as many birthday balloons in the birthday kid's room as she can...and then for it to come back and kick her in the tail a few years later - like when she has FOUR kids and has to come up with enough hot air to fill those darn balloons every three months!
I'm just sayin'.
Anyway...
I'm thinking this NaBloPoMo thing may been another one of 'her' not so good ideas. Especially during the month of November. Not that I'm giving up or anything...I'm just thinking whatever you do get out of me during the next 30 days may not always be witty, pithy or particularly creative-y.
Wish me luck ladies...work's calling - and I'm diving in.

I am thankful for...my job. This time last year I didn't have one - so many people around the country are still looking for one - I just wish I was better at it so it didn't claim so much of my off-work time. Sigh.

30 pink balloons

2009-11-04T20:02:00.000-08:00

Its late.

I should be winding down - getting into my pjs, brushing my teeth and crawling into bed for a good night sleep.

Instead, I'm sitting on the couch, watching the evening news and blowing up 30 hot pink balloons.

We've got a birthday tomorrow. My big girl becomes an even bigger girl in the morning...my precious Anya turns 9.

I can't begin to tell you how much this girl means to me.

Seven years ago when I met her in that Russian orphanage, she was a pipsqueak of a thing. She sat on a bench picking little toys out of a white bag...first a tiny doll, then a white horse, a little bear and a red truck.

All the while, I kept wondering if we were doing the right thing. Shad was absolutely in love, convinced she was the one.

I was absolutely terrified! I knew nothing about girls. I had no desire to buy dresses, had little interest in dolls and had proved to be an abysmal failure as a hair stylist. I just KNEW I would be a disaster as a little girl's mom, but there was something about her...and quite frankly, I'm still not sure what it was.

From the moment we brought her home she was VERY temperamental...VERY emotional...VERY strong-willed. It was all I could do to bond with her. It took months and months of forcing myself to try all the techniques to connect with her, before I really felt like her mom. Actually, it was more like a year.

Sad...but true.

Now? I couldn't imagine life without her.

Sure...she's still overly emotional and very strong-willed. There are days when I'm exasperated by the constant drama, frustrated by my inability to french-braid her hair and am tempted to thrown every last Barbie out the window.

But I'm also incredibly thankful. She's blossomed into a sweet, compassionate, giving, nurturing, thoughtful, loving, gentle and loyal girl. She's smart, funny, friendly and witty.

She is FOREVER helping Maddie. Patiently working with her to pick out an outfit for school, brushing her hair while I curl mine and often pouring milk on her morning cereal while I try to corral the boys to put on jeans that haven't been in their laundry bin with mud stains on them for the last week.

She loves to help with Saturday chores, often doing way more than requested.

She thrives on nursing her sick brothers and sister back to health by bringing them cool washcloths and a drink of water.

She makes her bed without asking.

She colors new pictures each week to tape on the refrigerator.

She worries about every kitten she spots on the street.

She enjoys hunting bugs with Nick and can't understand why I don't want to join them.

She is working really hard to stop chewing her nails...so she can get her ears pierced tomorrow.

She plays football with the guys and loves to play dress-up.

And she loves her Lord with ALL her heart.

All of these are just the tip of the iceberg of why I love this little girl.

Just. The. Tip.

So I will gladly and thankfully inflate these balloons tonight. I have been blessed to have another year as Anya's mom.

Blowing up 30 hot pink balloons is a very small price to pay, indeed.

Happy Birthday Anya!

I'm thankful that...my Heavenly Father trusted Shad and I to raise this precious girl. He knew exactly what He was doing when He lent her to us. We're thankful for the time we have with her and are REALLY looking forward to enjoying getting to know the young woman she is becoming.